


Tales before the War

by Ruasah



Series: Captain America and his Lady Liberty [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, F/M, OC Relationships - Freeform, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, hints of noncon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-10-27 05:38:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 50,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20755211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruasah/pseuds/Ruasah
Summary: When Astrid moved to New York City she thought that she could get a new lease on life. Leaving her war torn country and her past with it. Yet some scars cut deep. Deeper than she thought anyone could heal. Expecting nothing out of life everything changes when she meets the kind, courageous Steve Rogers. Her life will never be the same again.





	1. The Troubles of Double Dates

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost this is not a Steve Rogers story though he does play a major part. This is an OC story. The beginning of a multi fic, multi chapter love story. If you don't like OC stories than this is not going to be for you. But for those of you that do than you are going to be in for a wild ride.  
I have been meaning to write this story for a long time. With recent events in the MCU I know now how it ends.  
As a warning in later chapters there are going to be descriptions of torture, rape and sex. I'll mention them in the author notes of each chapter. As for this one none of those particular warnings apply. So sit back and enjoy the adventures of Captain America and his Lady Liberty.

Shamira was going to kill Astrid. Legitimately straggle her with her bare hands. It's not like she couldn't do it. Not only was Astrid running late for their dinner reservation but Bucky would probably not want to go out with her again. Which was a shame because Bucky was one of the best looking guys in the city and actually decent in bed. Something that Shamira was grateful for. But at this moment he was probably thinking this was all an elaborate ruse against his friend Steve. Who seemed to be both curious about the situation and wanting to be anywhere else. Shamira tapped her foot and sighed. Astrid was probably caught up in something. Whether accidental or on purpose remained to be seen.

Shamira, Steve, and Bucky were sitting around the waiting room of the hospital Astrid worked at so they could finally go on the double date Shamira had set up. When Bucky first broached the idea, Shamira was skeptical. Astrid was very very very particular about guys. Shamira remained doubtful until she actually got a look at Steve. Perfect match would be an understatement. Man was essentially a stick with legs. She ran into Steve when he came over to Bucky's place to pick up something. Bucky dropped everything with her to immediately help him. Those two were incredibly close. Made Shamira like Bucky even more. He might actually understand the relationship she has with Astrid.

Just as Shamira was about to walk up to the nurse again to ask where the hell Astrid was, Astrid's voice cut through the waiting room. Her German accent faint but recognizable. 

"I swear! Did you get your medical license out of a cereal box?!" Astrid walked into the waiting room in surgical scrubs. She was followed by another guy also dressed for surgery.

"I'll let you know-" the guy stated to say.

Astrid stopped. Turning around immediately and got in the guys face. Despite him being taller than her. "I don't care. In my OR you follow my instructions. The next time you do something so monumentally stupid I'll make you eat your teeth if you're lucky." That growl in her voice sent shivers down Shamira's body. She never wanted to be on the receiving end. "Then I'll make sure you'll never be able to even look at a scalpel again. Because unlike you I actually got my license at a university and actually know what I'm doing." Shamira saw Steve and Bucky exchange glances. She was more interested in Steve's reaction however. And he was looking at Astrid in awe. Good this was already going well.

Astrid was continuing her rant. "Now why don't you run along and find something you are actually good at if there is anything. Though to start you can help the nurses fix your mind blowing idiotic mistake. Maybe you'll actually succeeded in learning something." The guy glared at her before turning away in a huff. While Astrid walked up to an older woman who was sitting with what looked like her daughter.

"Ma'am," Astrid stated her tone now soft. "Your husband is going to be fine. He's currently recovering but you'll be able to see him in a few hours."

"But what about..." she gestured in the direction the other doctor headed.

"There was a complication but nothing that I could not handle. Like I said, your husband will be fine."

The woman was speechless for a moment before getting up. Too overcome to say anything before finally saying thank you and hugging Astrid tightly. Astrid returned the hug as the woman repeated the phrase. Only Shamira could see how uncomfortable Astrid was. She hated to be thanked for doing what she thought was the bare minimum. 

Astrid let go of the woman. "The nurses will direct you to where you need to go." The nurse at the desk smiled at Astrid giving her a nod. The woman let her go and followed the nurse. Her daughter right behind her. 

Astrid turned looking directly at Shamira. She at least had the decency to look sheepish. They were going to a nice place. Reservations were hard to get.

"Sorry," Astrid stated walking up to Shamira and the tall guy standing next to her. Astrid really hoped that this wasn't her date. Shamira said that she would really like the guy but so far she wasn't impressed. Seemed like every other typical guy that tired to woo her. That and she was exhausted fro the surgery she just performed. She was honestly hoping they would have left without her. "I got stuck in a surgery that became far more complicated than it should have been."

"You're a surgeon?" the guy asked looking at her skeptically.

Astrid sighed completly used to this response. Throwing a what really look at Shamira before answering the question. "Dr. Astrid Schmidt, at your service and you are?"

"This is Bucky," Shamira replied. "Remember? The guy I told you about." She should have meant the guy she wouldn't shut up about. Astrid couldn't supress the sign of relief. Though she wondered who her date was then. Shamira rolled her eyes and pulled out a 5'4 guy from behind Bucky." Astrid's brain stopped for a second as she processed how cute the guy was. Soft blond hair, beautiful blue eyes. A touch of red covered his cheeks as he looked up at her. Astrid also blushed. Shamira wasn't wrong. "And this is Steve Rogers."

"Ma'am," he stated holding out his hand. She took his hand in hers surprised by how warm it was. As she was about to say something a voice interrupted.

"HELP!" a woman cried out bursting through the doors of the hospital carrying a bleeding man into the waiting room. "My husband has been stabbed!"

Not even a second had passed before Astrid moved into action. :"Get a gunnery!" Astrid shouted at one of the other nurses before fulling turning her attention to her new patient. Pulling out her mobile surgical kit she unrolled it. Revealing all the tools of her trade. She took the man from the woman's arms and laid him carefully on the ground. Time was of the essence. Astrid quickly took a pair of scissors and sliced his clothing off. Looked like he had been stabbed once right above the kidneys. She immediately set out to stop up the bleeding which started to pool on the floor. In what felt like hours but was only moments she had sealed up the wound to the point where he was no longer about to bleed out. She passed him off to the chief surgeon who came in to finish the work. A stern fellow he only gave Astrid a quick glance before directing the nurses. The patient was placed on a gunnery and rolled away for surgery.

Astrid turned back to her to her three companions. Blood now covering her. Shamira was shaking her head. Chuckling and muttering curses at her in German. Of course something like this would happen. The universe could never give them a break. While Steve and Bucky looked at her amazed. 

"Excuse me for a moment," Astrid said gesturing towards the locker room. "I'm going to go change. Be right back." Astrid pretty much sprinted to the women's locker room. Ready to get out of the surgical garb. Thanking Shamira profusely that she had convinced her to bring a dress to work. 

"She normally like that?" Bucky asked. He followed her with his eyes as she disappeared down a corridor. 

"Pretty much," Shamira answered still chuckling. "Astrid always did have a flair for the dramatic."

"Why do I have a feeling that she would say the same thing about you?"

"I never said that she was the only one."

She came out quickly in a beautiful navy blue and polka dot dress. Shamira felt a warm fuzzy feeling as she heard Steve swallow a lump in his throat. Most women were good looking but Astrid was on another level altogether. Her pitch black hair perfectly curled framing her green eyes. At 5'7 she was also pretty tall. A fact that she often used to her advantage.

"Shall we go?" she asked them. Bucky took the lead. Hooking his arm with Shamira's. Astrid let them walk a little further ahead. Slowly her pace to walk with Steve. It gave her time to talk with her date. Who didn't seem to know what to say.

"So you're a doctor?" Steve asked. "I mean of course you are. I saw you..." he gestured with his hands. "Just surprising why a beautiful dame like you would want to be a doctors." His brain faltered for a second as he realized what he said. "I mean woman. Such a beautiful woman. Not that beautiful woman can't be doctors."

Astrid laughed slightly. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of him yet. Good looks could only take you so far. He did manage to call he beautiful three times though. That was something. Not that she usually responded to flattery but from him... it actually sounded genuine. "You have no idea how to talk to women do you?"

Steve let out a huff. "Honestly this might be my longest conversation with one. Women aren't exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on."

Astrid gave him a small smile. "You must have danced."

"Well asking a woman to dance always seemed so terrifying. And the past few years, it just didn't seem to matter that much. Figured I wait."

"For what?"

"The right partner."

Astrid shook her head. This guy was something else entirely. "Let me help you out then. Since this is your longest conversation with a woman." Steve gave her a small smile. She felt the butterflies dance in her stomach and she wanted to do nothing more than make him smile again. "Due to... special circumstances I got my medical degree in London when I was 20. Though I'm originally from Germany. Lived there till rather recently." Astrid was testing the waters. Due to the start of the war, aggression against Germans were at an all time high. Not that it wasn't unwarranted. It chilled Astrid's blood to think what the dictator was doing to her homeland. However, Steve didn't seem to bat an eye. Instead seemed to be hanging onto her every word. "Where are you from?"

Steve looked around them. At the city where they lived. "Brooklyn, born and raised."

"Local boy then. Your parents must be happy you stayed close." Something in his step faltered and Astrid knew she said the wrong thing. She could have cursed herself. She felt so relaxed with him that she let her guard down. This was still the first date. She would have to be more careful with her words.

"My father was killed in action before I was born. Mustard gas. My mother was a nurse, got tuberculosis. Couldn't shake it."

"I'm sorry," she replied unsure of what else to say.

Steve shook his head. "Don't be. You didn't know. What about your parents? They must miss you. Having moved so far away."

"My mother was killed by Nazis when I was 12." Astrid knew she had promised to keep her past in the past but she saw no harm in telling Steve. Not after he had been so open with her. "My father... also died recently. It's what prompted Shamira and I to move." She thought she could hear Steve's breath stutter.

"Looks like we have that in common," he mumbled.

Astrid let out a sigh. "I'm sorry. This is not how I intended our first date to go. What do you do for a living?"

"Just as Steve was about to open his mouth Bucky interrupted. "He's an artist. A really good one. Got a degree and everything." Looks like those two were listening in.

"Really?" Astrid asked looking down at Steve who was blushing once again. "A man of many talents then."

"Not one of which includes talking to women apparently."

"He seemed to be doing quite well talking to me."

"That's because you don't know how to talk to guys on dates either," Shamira added in. "Like what is this your first date with a fella ever?"

Astrid pretended to think about it but she knew Shamira was right. She shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say. I'm very particular about men."

"Also, we are here." Astrid felt the disappointment creep into her chest. She wanted to spend more time talking with Steve. Just the two of them. Learning everything she could about him. Though once they got inside the restaurant Astrid had to admit that Shamira was right about the place. It was really nice. Chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and tasteful wood decor. There good mood was killed immediately though. As they walked in they were met with the disapproving glance of the maitre d. A small sniveling man that Astrid took an instant dislike too.

"I'm sorry," he huffed looking over the four of them as if they were insects. "We don't allow your kind of people in."

"What kind?" Astrid asked, her accent bleeding though heavily. "Germans, Jews, or...." she glanced at Bucky and Steve. "What are you?"

"Irish," they both answered glaring at the maitre d. Didn't seem to affect him at all.

"Jews," the man hissed staring directly at Shamira. She glared straight back at him. No way she was going to let this man get to her. She knew she looked Jewish. It was kinda hard to miss but in no way shape or form was she ashamed of it. Bucky was about to say something but Astrid jumped down the guy's throat first.

"If I weren't in such lovely company, I would rip out your intestines with a spoon and slowly feed them to you," Astrid stated in a tone that made it sound like she was actually considering doing that. "I feel sorry for the people who could have used the oxygen that you are allowed to breath. My companions and I will be going now. I just hope that for your sake that you won't be needing medical attention anytime soon." The man paled and blinked a couple of times shaking slightly. Astrid gave him a cheeky smile and walked out.

"Well that was fun," Astrid stated to the others. The three of them turned to her in various states of amusement. Bucky and Steve still processing what exactly happened while Shamira gave Astrid a knowing smile. This wasn't the first time and sadly it wasn't going to be the last. Add it to the list of places to boycott. 

Astrid clicked tongue a couple of times. "Honestly though I'm in the mood for a sandwich. There's a deli not far from here that's to die for." She started walking off in the direction of the diner.

Bucky and Steve glanced at each other as if not sure what to expect. Turned out to be a little hole in the wall Jewish deli. When Astrid walked in she was enthusiastically greeted by the owner who told her everything was on the house for her and her friends. They snuggled into a little booth in the corner. Astrid and Steve sitting across from Bucky and Shamira who kept exchanging knowing glances. 

As conversation flowed between them and the food arrived Astrid actually found that she was having fun on a date. She wasn't sure it was even possible. But looking at the smile on Steve's face sent her heart into a flutter. Right here, right now. Crammed into this tiny diner was where she was meant to be. She found herself moving closer and closer to Steve. Him to her as well and soon he was leaning against her. Bodies pressed together. She wondered if everyone else could hear her heart pounding away.

"Astrid you're absolutely right about this place," Steve said. She felt like her heart was about to explode. "This is the best Reuben I've ever had." She saw his eyes darting about the place. "How do you know the owners?"

"I saved their son's life." They all paused and turned their attention to her. "He was found beaten up in an alley right across from this diner. They think he was ambushed when he was locking up. When he finally got to the hospital, my 'esteemed colleagues' weren't sure he was going to make it. Too much of a lost cause to quote directly. I made sure that he wasn't." She clenched her jaw. That case still pissed her off whenever she thought about it and it wasn't only her colleagues. Shamira had to talk her out of going after his attackers and making sure that they wouldn't hurt anyone again.

"You're one of a kind Astrid," Bucky uttered. 

"You are right about that," Steve replied. Astrid for the umpteenth time that day blushed. Steve just had a way of getting to her that no one else had.

After they finished there food and an argument between the owners and Astrid over paying, she lost, they started walking back home. Astrid had to work the next day so they decided on having an early night. 

It was a quiet walk back. Turned out that none of them lived far so Steve and Bucky offered to walk them back. This time her and Steve taking the lead while Shamira and Bucky were a bit behind them. Probably figuring out when they could hook up next. Her and Steve were enjoying each other's company. Astrid was tempted to reach out and grab his hand. It wouldn't take much. Their fingers were brushing against one another. All she had to do was reach out. Just as she was about to she heard wolf whistles next to her and a group of three guys appeared in front of her.

"Hey broad," the biggest one called out. He was clearly their leaded. He looked like he had been through a meat grinder. "Why don't I show you a good time?' He two goons chuckled, looking exactly like what would happen if you turned a slab of meat into a human. "Show you what it's like to be with a real man." The sneer he gave Steve said it all. Despite herself Astrid flinched but glared up at the guy. Before she could say anything Steve stepped up in front of her.

"Why don't you leave her alone?" he told them. It would have been much more intimidating if he didn't look like a string bean.

"Ah real tough guy here," he let out a hearty laugh with his two goons joining him. He cracked his knuckles. "Why don't we teach this punk a lesson?"

Steve puffed himself up as if ready for a fight. Astrid however wasn't going to let that happen. 

"He's more of a man than you'll ever be," she spat. "Touch him and you'll be lucky to see the next sunrise." Her voice was low but deadly. She wasn't playing games. 

But it didn't seem to have an affect. The man snickered. Coming closer to her. He reached out as if to brush her hair. "Maybe we should teach you a lesson as well." His intentions clear. Astrid had seen that look on a man many times before. And she knew what had to happen next. Before Steve or her opponent could do anything Astrid grabbed the attackers hand and twisted it. Hard. It felt like the crack could be heard for miles. The man pulled his hand away, clutching it. Screaming bloody murder. Bucky and Shamira ran up as well. Ready to join the fight.

"I just broke your hand and wrist," Astrid growled. She pointed at the other two. "I would leave before I do the same to you two." The two guys grabbed their comrade who was screaming curses at her, dragging him off to who knows where.

"Can you go one day without beating someone up?" Shamira huffed. "Your lucky we live in New York and no one cares about this sort of thing."

Astrid scoffed. "Please like a man like that would say anything. Besides I went easy on him."

"Well that's true."

"This happen to you often?" Bucky asked looking in the direction the guys disappeared down. "How do you even know how to do that?"

Astrid turned her attention towards him and Steve. Particularly Steve who was giving her a look Astrid didn't quite recognize. "More than you think." She sighed pinching the bridge of her nose. "Also I'm a doctor. I know how to break every single bone in the human body." That was a little bit of a white lie. She placed a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Thanks for having my back."

"I always will," Steve responded. The four of them stuck closer together after that until they reached her and Shamira's apartment. Once they reached the door Shamira and Bucky said their goodbyes and Shamira went inside. Bucky said something about waiting outside for Steve. Leaving Astrid and Steve alone in the hallway.

"Well that' didn't go as intended," Astrid stated rubbing the back of her head. "But perhaps our second date will go better."

Steve's eyes shot up to the top of his head. "Second date? You want a second date?"

Astrid felt her blood freeze. She really thought the two of them had a connection. "I mean if you don't want..."

"No, no." Steve was shaking his head. Panic flying into his eyes. "I just didn't expect it. That's all."

Astrid shrugged. "Why not? You're a really good guy Steve and pretty cute too." Steve made a sound that seemed like he swallowed his own tongue. Astrid let out a small laugh. "I'm free on Thursday after 6. Do you want to get together then? You can pick me up at the hospital."

"Yes!" He was unable to hide his enthusiasm. Astrid smiled and bent down. Kissing him on the cheek. If it was possible for his entire body to turn completely red it would have.

"Goodnight Steve."

"Goodnight Astrid." She continued smiling as she closed the door. Before turning to Shamira who was looking pretty satisfied with herself.

"You see?" she stated. "I told you he was the perfect guy for you."

"You," Astrid pointed at her. "Can shut it." Shamira let out a laugh as shook her head and went into her bedroom. If it wasn't for her talents there was no way that her and Shamira would be able to live here. Shamira followed her. Jumping on the bed.

"Come on. You have to admit I'm right. He's super cute and clearly likes you."

"He's very cute." Astrid sat next to her on the bed. Both of them lying back until there backs hit the bed. "But how can you be sure he likes me?"

"Because I'm not blind." Shamira rolled her eyes. "Besides if you wanted to be sure all you have to do is read his mind."

"You know I don't like reading good people's minds without their permission. It's an invasion of privacy. Plus I'm pretty sure that's not a great basis for a relationship."

"Fair but onto more important subjects. What do you think of Bucky?"

"I actually like him compared to the other boys that you've been going out with."

Shamira let out a scoff. "You hate all the guys that I go out with."

"Maybe there is a reason for that." Shamira smacked her in the shoulder before sitting up.

"Seriously though. It was good. To see you have such a good time. You needed it. You've been too wound up lately."

Astrid sat up as well. Running a hand through her hair. "I just feel like we are playing a dangerous game here."

Shamira took both her hands into hers. "Hey. If this all goes wrong, we'll run to some state in the middle of nowhere and run a farm. Or raise chickens or whatever you want to do. But for now let's actually enjoy living in a city." Astrid knew Shamira was right. It would just take time. They had barely been here a year yet. It was going to take time. Astrid only hoped that the way wouldn't follow them here. They were some things she was really starting to enjoy in Brooklyn.


	2. Artistic Musings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings in this chapter except for excessive fluff.

Astrid was completely giddy as she waited for Steve to pick her up from the hospital. She was wondering what he had planned. She was still learning all about Steve. He wasn’t like anyone she had ever met and she was looking forward to learning all about him. Genuinely. Something that actually surprised her. She never thought that she would be curious about a guy in a romantic sense. Much less actually seeking to get to know him better. 

Right on time he arrived. Panting slightly. The clothes he was wearing were slightly too big for him and worn on the edges. Perhaps the two of them would be able to go clothes shopping. Steve might not have the money but Astrid could always support the two of them.

"Astrid," Steve stated continuing to pant in front of her. That snapped her back to reality. They had only just started dating. It was a bit early to be picking out wallpaper colors.

"Steve," she replied leaning down. Placing one hand on his cheek and kissing his other. "I would be lying if I didn't say I have been looking forward to this since I saw you last."

"Way to put pressure on a guy," Steve laughed with a faint blush on his cheeks. "But I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either."

Astrid smiled and took his hand. She felt his hand curl into hers. As if it always belonged there. Her heart skipped a beat with that knowledge. "Don't keep me in suspense. Where are we going?"

"You'll see." He signaled for a taxi. Helping her in once he flagged one down. He whispered something to the driver who nodded.

As they started driving along Steve glanced out the window.

"Know this neighborhood well?" Astrid asked.

"You could say that." He pointed out the window. "I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner." He brought his chin into his chest looking downward.

Well Astrid couldn’t have that. She cupped his face with one of her hands and turned it so that he was looking up at her. "Did you have something against running away?"

Steve shook his head. Grasping her hand. "You start running they'll never let you stop. You stand up, you push back. They can't say no forever, right?"

Astrid took a deep breath. "I actually know what that is like. To have everything stand in your way." They lowered their hands so that they were resting on the car seat. Steve unconsciously tracing tiny circles on top. 

He nodded. "You don't see many women doctors." He paused as if choosing his next words carefully. "What made you want to become a doctor?"

She stiffened slightly. Steve noticed and gripped her hand tighter. "It was more of a career that was chosen for me rather than my own choice."

He frowned at that but didn’t push any further. Something that Astrid was grateful for. "Well what was it that you wanted to do?"

Astrid sighed. She had to tell Steve something. Might as well tell him all that she could. "I was actually training to be a professional dance. Until life took me on a different course."

"Really?" Steve looked over her as if picturing it. "So I probably shouldn't be taking you dancing then?"

Astrid chuckled in response. "No, I left that part of my life behind me."  
"You ever want to go back to it?"

"Only if I found the right partner." Steve's smiled widened as she echoed what he stated during their first date.

The taxi came to a stop and Steve paid him. Astrid and him got out and she looked at what was before her. The Brooklyn Museum.

"Isn't this placed closed?" she asked taking Steve's hand. The two of them walked up the staircase.

"Not when you're friends with the director." Sure enough the two of them were let in and enthusiastically greeted by the director. An older man with graying hair who lavished praise on Steve calling him one of the best up in coming artists. Astrid's smile growing wider. Looks like Bucky wasn't kidding when he said Steve was good. After shaking the director's hand multiple times, he left them to their own devices.

"You are taking me on a private museum tour?" Astrid asked looking at all the art. "This is incredible." Slowly Steve took her through the exhibits. The International Watercolor exhibition, Contemporary Painting in the United States, Ancient Art and so much more. Explaining the different techniques used. His knowledge of art was incredible. Despite the fact that he was partially color blind. Which is why he did most of his own work in black and white. Sometimes he would bring his art book a sketch out the great masterpieces. Though his favorite thing to draw was the intimate moments of the city.

“I would love to see it sometime,” Astrid stated as the walked through the Oriental section.

“What?” Steve asked

Astrid rolled her eyes gently at him. “Your artwork. Unless of course its private.”

“You actually want to see it?” It actually seemed genuinely surprised by the question.

“Obviously I want to see it before it ends up in an exhibit like this and seen by millions. I mean just the way you talk about art tells me that yours is a sight to behold.” Steve’s eyes went wide and he blushed. Rubbing the back of his head before continuing his museum tour. Astrid never wanted this to end. She could have stayed here with Steve forever. Eventually he led her to one of the main galleries. Where set up before her was a picnic blanket and basket. Lite up by candles.

"You set this up yourself?" she wondered sitting down on the blanket. Her mind was completely blown.

"I asked the director to lay it out," Steve replied. "Bucky's mom is the one who made the food. If I tried cooking I would be likely to poison ourselves."

"Lucky for you then that I can cook." She sat down on the blanket and looked around at all the art. "I think this is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me." It was possibly the only romantic thing anyone had ever done for her but she didn't want to diminish Steve's efforts. Besides the look on Steve's face was worth it. He was absolutely beaming as he sat down next to her. Looking at him filled her with such fuzzy feelings. Until this moment she wasn't sure that she would be able to be happy being alone with a guy in a romantic sense. But Steve, her dear Steve proved her wrong.

She pulled him closer to her. He was too far away. Steve ended up curled to her side. Her arm wrapped around his shoulders. He let out a soft sigh of contentment and put his head back so that it was resting on her shoulder. Looking at her with his bright blue eyes. She could have melted into a puddle right then and there. If she had an eternity to describe his eyes alone she wasn't sure she would do them justice. It felt they held that position for a long time. Just taking each other in. Realizing the meaning of the fact that they fit together like two puzzle pieces. They were so close that she could tell Steve was breathing a little hard. That is heartbeat was quicker than normal. She wondered if he could tell the same about her.

"We should probably eat something," Astrid stated if also to let Steve catch his breath. His breathing was starting to concern her slightly. "Don't want Mrs. Barnes to think we don't like the food."

Steve nodded moving away from her and opening up the basket. It really was picnic foods. Salads, sandwiches. Even a container of lemonade. Once it was all laid out the two of them started digging in. One handed. They couldn't bother to let the other one go.

"She is a really good cook," Astrid added in after she had her fill. She really was. She might actually have to stop by Bucky's place. She wondered if Shamira had met his parents yet. Somehow she doubted it. Shamira was never one to go over and meet the parents. No matter how much the guy see was seeing was in love with her.

"Been feeding me for years," Steve replied with a smile. He cautiously laid down in her lap. Something she didn't object to as it allowed her to play with his hair. His soft fluffy hair. His eyes fluttered closed and sighed.

"You've know Bucky a long time haven't you?"

He gave her a thoughtful smile. "We have been childhood friends for as long as I can remember. There were times when all I had was him. What about you and Shamira?"

"Next door neighbors. It was inevitable. Even after we had lost contact with each other for awhile, we managed to reconnect. She was everything to me for awhile." She would never forget those days. The days her body was too weak to even let her sit up and Shamira had to feed her by hand. Those days where she begged for death and Shamira equally begged her to hold on. Shamira was the one who rescued her from that ditch in the first place and brought her back to her father. She had no doubt that without Shamira she would have left this earth long ago.

Steve opened his eyes and sat up. Looking at her. She immediately missed the feel of his hair through his hands. "Why did you lose contact?"

Astrid's entire body stiffened. Her grip on Steve tightened. "Let's say it wasn't by choice." Her entire demeanor was tense. "I was taken to Berlin and stayed there for a little while."

Steve paused. His expression grim. "Not a lot of things were your choice, were they?"

Astrid let out a hollow laugh. "You could say that again." She was mentally kicking herself. Once again she had managed to turn a date dour. Steve shuffled so that he was sitting in front of her. Taking both her hands into his.

"I promise." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "That whenever you're with me I will always make sure that you have a choice."

"Steve," she whimpered. Despite all her years of training she could still feel the tears prick her eyes. How she longed for a guy to say that to her. Never thinking it would actually happen. She brought him in for a hug. Her arms perfectly wrapping around his entire frame. She could feel his breath quicken as he wrapped his arms around her. Normally she would never do this. Never would think she would want to do this. But Steve was intoxicating. The feel of his breath on her. Of his body pressed against hers. His hands roaming her back and her's his. She wanted to feel every inch of him. Wondered what his lips would taste like. But now was not the time for that.  
She let him go when it was getting hard for him to breath. Panting heavily against her.

"Breath with me Steve." She brought his hand against her chest. Slowing down her own breathing. Beckoning him to follow her. After a little bit his breathing steadied. More normal. She looked over him concerned. Seemed like he was rather sickly. A flare of worry crossed her. "Does that happen a lot?"

"I wouldn't know," Steve said with a glint in his eye. "It only seems to happen when I'm in the middle of a date with the most beautiful, talented woman I'll ever meet."

Astrid swore she could feel her blood pressure rise. Her mind taking a minute to recover before she could say anything that wasn't gibberish. "As much as I appreciate the compliment," she nudged him gently, "Tell me the truth."

"Yeah, it happens often." He looked a little downcast. His face once again dipping down. She felt a pain in her chest. Only wanting to put a smile back on his face.

Astrid placed her hands on his chest. "Well, it's a good thing you'll be seeing your doctor quite often now." Steve looked perplexed until he realized that Astrid was talking about herself. "I think I have a trick or two that can help keep you healthy."

"You wanna...." Steve was grasping at words.

It was her turn to take his hands into hers. "I'll be your lady if you'll be my man."

"Yes, God yes." He was unable to get the words out fast enough.

She pressed their foreheads together. Her happiness undeniable. Flowing through her like waves.

All to soon the date had to end. Astrid had to work in the morning. Steve stayed with her until they reached her apartment. Not wanting to part from one another. Too soon however she was at her door. Both of them lingering. For as soon as she went inside the date would be over. And neither of them would want that. Holding hands as they stood in front of the door.

"I don't want to leave," Steve finally said.

"I don't want you to leave," Astrid replied but she could see him stifle a yawn. "But you should head home before it gets too late. I'll see you before you know it."

"I would hope so." He gave her one last hug. Stepping back and starting to turn around. Heading home.

"Don't get into any fights on the way home."

"I'll try not to!" All too soon he disappeared from view. Astrid sighed and opened the door. Only to find Bucky and Shamira standing by the door smiling.

"I should go catch up with Steve," Bucky stated heading out. Leaving Astrid and Shamira who was smiling wickedly. Her fate was sealed.

"So should I expect you two to be waiting at the door after every date?" Astrid asked moving towards there small kitchen.

"No, sometimes we'll be at Bucky's place," Shamira replied sitting down on there love seat. "Pass me a glass of water will you?"

Astrid rolled her eyes, grabbed a glass off the shelf and filled it with water. Before floating it over to Shamira who carefully grabbed it from the air.

"Thanks. So where did he take you?" He didn't try to get frisky did he?"

Astrid turned to face her. "He was a perfect gentleman. We went to the Brooklyn Museum of Art and had a picnic."

"Well that's super sweet."

"I'm not even sure I want to ask about your date with Bucky. I'm pretty sure I know what you guys are up to."

Now it was Shamira turn to roll her eyes. "I'll have you know we had dinner first. Then we came her for some fun."

Astrid let out a chuckle. Shaking her head slightly.

She started to boil water for tea and sat down next to Shamira. Resting her head on her shoulder. "I really like him," Astrid mumbled. 

Shamira rested her head on top of hers. "I know you do." The two of them sat there for awhile. Soaking each other in. Astrid closed her eyes. She wasn't sure what was going to happen with Steve in the long run but she knew that Shamira would be with her every step of the way.


	3. In Law Mayhem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again no outright triggers for this chapter but some hints to the darker past. Astrid's still holding onto her secrets.

Astrid was the most nervous she had been in a long time. Worse than she felt during her final exams or stepping foot in America for the first time. She clicked her tongue a couple of times as she paced back and forth through their apartment. Shamira watching her from the love seat.

"You actually seem more nervous that I am," Shamira pointed out. "And I'm the one who’s actually seeing Bucky."

"They are Bucky's parents," Astrid replied stopping in front of Shamira. "They basically helped raise Steve and were there for him after his mother died. I'm basically meeting his parent for the first time. What if they don't like me?"

Shamira gave her a what really look. "You are a highly trained doctor, decent to look at, and a wonderful woman. Most men would kill to be with you. Some women too. I'm fairly certain that they will like you."

"Not if they knew that I am-" Shamira lifted a hand up interrupting her.

"You promised me that we would leave that behind us." Shamira sighed. "We have a new life ahead of us. Let's not ruin by bringing the past into this." Astrid wasn't about to start arguing with her. She was probably right. They needed to move on after all that happened. Make a new life for themselves.

Her mind completely switched gears as she smoothed out her small floral print dress. Shamira continued to roll her eyes at her as Steve and Bucky stepped in. 

"How are my favorite girls doing?" Bucky asked giving Shamira a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Looking forward to your mother's food," Shamira answered with a grin while Astrid walked towards Steve taking his hand and planting a kiss on his cheek. Still blushing every time she did. 

"I can't look at you without losing my breath," Steve stated taking her in.

"That's not much of a compliment Steve," Bucky added in turning away from Shamira and facing him. "Considering how often that is."

"Maybe it's because of how often she's on my mind." Astrid felt the warm fuzzies flow through her on that one. AS the two of them continued to playfuly bicker she glanced at Shamira who was looking pretty pleased. Shamira was right. There was no need to bring the past into this. Not at this point. 

"Shall we continue lollygagging here or shall we actually start heading towards your parents place," Shamira asked. 

"Let's shall we,” Bucky responded. “They are looking forward to meeting Astrid." That sent a spike of nerves through Astrid. Everyone knew that Shamira was one of the many girls that Bucky spent time with. But this was the first time Steve was essentially bringing a girl home. Steve gave her hand a good squeeze. Noticing her nerves.

"Relax, they are going to love you. I certainly..." he seemed to stop himself from whatever he was going to say. "I certainly think so."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," she replied as they walked down to the street holding hands. Another fortunate thing about living close by. They didn't have to give out money for a taxi. It also gave Astrid time to collect herself. She just had to think that this was another job and not introducing herself to two of the most important people in her boyfriend’s life.

Didn't seem like it was enough time as before she knew it, she was at the door and a short pump woman was bringing everyone into a hug. Spending extra time on Steve and her.  
"Oh, it's so wonderful to meet you," she stated. 

"Thanks Mrs. Barnes," Astrid replied once the woman let her go.

"Please call me Anna. We are basically family. I only wish Steve brought you home sooner." She gave Steve a playful glare before beckoning them inside. 

If Astrid had to describe this place in one word it would be comfortable. It certainly had that lived in feel. Furniture clearly worn but well loved. Colorful wallpaper well taken care of. Anna was clearly a homemaker as she beckoned them to the table and the spread she laid out before them. Meatloaf. three different kinds of salad. potatoes. Astrid also got introduced to the rest of the clan. Mr. Barnes or Thomas as he insisted, a rather lanky man that brought them all in with a warm demeanor. Benjamin, Bucky's 16 year old brother. Betty his 14 year old sister and Logan the youngest boy at 10. 

Anna beckoned them to start digging in but before Astrid could bring a fork to her mouth Anna started throwing out questions. Now this was something Astrid was used to. An interrogation.

"You're a doctor," Anna stated not yet touching her food. She was sitting right across from Astrid. "Don't see many female doctors." She saw Bucky glare at her from the corner of her eye but this she could handle. Bucky was sitting at the head of the table across from his father, with Shamira to his left. 

There was no point in outright lying. But withholding the truth a little. "I was handpicked for the program. Didn't matter what gender you were as long as long as you met the necessary qualifications," Astrid answered with a shrug. "I did."

"Still it's not going to be an easy job to have when you have kids." This time it was Steve who chocked. Covering it up as a cough. Instinctively Astrid started rubbing circles on his back. "You do plan to have kids right?"

"As many as my husband wants." Anna seemed happy with that answer finally taken a drink of the homemade lemonade. Astrid glanced at Shamira who was sitting on the other side of the table tapping her head. Astrid connected their minds. Allowing her and Shamira to communicate telepathically. 

'You sure you've never done this before?' Shamira questioned in her mind. 'Because you are a natural.'

'I've handled many an interrogation,' Astrid answered. Shamira had to stifle a laugh.

'Well it certainly is that. Hopefully you can handle round two where she starts questioning your dating history.'

'What dating history?'

"What about Steve caught your eye?" Anna asked after Astrid managed to swallow the first bite of food. "I mean a beautiful woman like yourself could have a pick of any fella." 

Astrid actually didn't mind this line of questioning. Anna was only trying to protect Steve from getting hurt. Her body language was giving her away. The way she kept glancing at Steve.

“Mom really?” Bucky asked.

Anna shrugged. Faking innocence. “I only want to learn about her.” 

"What about Steve that isn't worth catching my eye?" Astrid asked bringing the conversation back to her. There was no way to avoid it. "He's the most kind, courageous man I've ever met and more importantly one of the few people in the world actually willing to stand up when something wrong is happening. I'm the one whose honored for being considered his lady." Bucky launched her a huge smile while Steve turned an interesting shade of red. Astrid snaked her hand so that she was holding his other under the table. Rubbing her thumb over it. Anna however didn't quite seem satisfied. Again, Astrid didn't blame her. Anyone could string together a bunch of pretty sounding words.

"Still I'm pretty sure that you are discerning about the men you date. Most of them must share those same qualities with Steve." Astrid took her hand back and brought it to her opposite forearm. 

"Steve is the only person I've ever dated."

Anna looked at her surprised. Eyebrows raised. "Really? There's no one you left behind in Germany? There's never been anyone at all?"

Astrid let out a laugh. Oh she remembered the one she left. She remembered the bruises, the burns, the beatings. She could still remember his hot breath against her skin as she begged him to stop. His weight against her body. The sour smell of his sweat. Her hand started digging into her arm. She noticed Shamira ready to interrupt but she lifted her hand slightly off her arm. Shamira got the message. She always did.

She gave Anna a sweet smile but only those who really knew her would notice the edge in her voice. "The only person I have willing dated is Steve." And she was planning on keep it that way. If he would have her. "I was alone. Away from my father and focused on my studies. Didn't give me much time for dating." She reached and took a sip of the lemonade. She could tell Anna was still suspicious, but she wasn't going to pursue it any further. For now, anyway.

"You must have made your parents proud," she continued. "I'm sorry for your loss." Astrid nodded not sure what to say. She did miss her parents. She missed what they had before everything went wrong. "You ever think about going back?"

Astrid let out a scoff. "Not in this century. Not as long as that man is in power." There was no hiding the anger in her voice. Shamira grinding her teeth on the other side.  
"What I don't get is why you left in the first place," Benjamin asked. He was sitting on Bucky’s other side. Opposite of Shamira. Astrid could tell he was trouble at first glance. "You two are Krauts after all." He shot her a look filled with loathing. It wasn't anything she wasn't used to. Luckily she didn't have to say anything. Steve shot him an equally loathing glare while Bucky smack him on the back of his head. Thomas chastising him. 

Benjamin didn't want to back down though. "I mean I get that she's a pretty face but still German." Astrid didn't normally fight with teenagers and this wasn't an exception. He was angry. A lot of people were. She even understood it. But that didn't make it was excusable. 

"We were poor, desperate and Hitler was the light at the end. It wasn't until later that we realized he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Most still haven't realized it," Shamira pointed out taking Benjamin's attention away from Astrid. "Astrid lost her mother to Nazis and I honestly don't know if my family is alive or dead." Shamira took a deep breath. "We have been fighting this war a lot longer than you realize. Since he took power."

"Trust me," Astrid added in. "If you think you hate him, it pales in comparison to how we feel. He destroyed our country, our homes, our families." She took another sip of lemonade. This definitely wasn't how she intended for this to go. But she seemed to have won both Thomas and Anna respect. Shamira as well. Conversation flowed smoothly after that. Even Benjamin contributed every once in a while. Once the main course was finished up Astrid offered to help clean up. Taking plates and bringing them to the kitchen while Anna was setting up desert. Some sort of pie.

"Sorry for all the questions," Anna said as she sliced the pie into pieces. 

"It's nothing to feel sorry for," Astrid replied placing the plates in the sink and started washing them.

Anna put the knife down and looked over at Astrid. "He really likes you. I've never seen him like this about anyone." That made Astrid's heart pound. The butterflies in her stomach going into overdrive. "He's basically another son to me. If you break his heart." 

Putting the plate down Astrid turned off the tap and looked at Anna. "Why would I ever do that?"

"Because woman can be cruel. I've seen Bucky try to set him up before. Only for them to turn up their noses because of his looks. Some have pretended to be interested only to stand him up. And you... you are one of the most accomplished, beautiful woman I've ever met. And Steve is a wonderful man, but he's still..."

"The most amazing man I’ve ever met?" Astrid snorted. She had to fight down the desire to find the woman that stood up Steve and laugh in their faces. Show them all they missed out on. "Trust me, I'm far from perfect. I have my own problems." She closed her eyes. Even now her blood could still run cold. Opening them again she saw Anna looking at her curiously. "Steve makes me happy. I actually enjoy spending time with him. I miss him when he isn't around. And he genuinely makes me want to be a better person."

"From the sound of it you don’t need his help to be a good person.” Oh how little Anna knew. If she knew she would probably be screaming at Astrid to get out of the house. “You don't have to explain it to me dear," Anna smiled. "I felt the same way about Thomas when we first started dating. And my first meeting with his parents was way worse."

"What happened?"

"I accidentally burnt dinner. It was a lovely roast that I turned to cinders." Both of them started laughing bringing out the desert for everyone. Turned out to be an apple pie. Steve’s favorite according to Anna. She would give Astrid the recipe later. They were having a great time. Continuing with tea and coffee after sending the kids to bed. 

All too soon they had to leave. Waving their goodbyes after Anna pulled Astrid into one last hug. Saying that she was welcome over at any time and for her to come back soon. 

"I told you they would love you," Steve said as they walked back to her and Shamira's place. "Sorry about Benjamin." 

"It's not your fault," Astrid answered. Yet Steve still seemed troubled. "I have the feeling something else is bothering you."

"What you said during dinner. About me. Did you mean it?"

"Every word." Steve stopped in his tracks. Astrid stopping next to him. He looked up at her as it to say something. She felt her heart leap up in her throat. He brought up a hand to her face and she leaned into it. Soaking him in. Wishing that she could be closer. She felt cold when Steve removed his hand. Whatever he was going to say was lost. Astrid didn’t mind. There wasn’t any rush. Her and Steve could take as much time as they needed to sort things out. 

"The others are waiting for us," he pointed out. She glanced behind her and saw Shamira and Bucky standing. Waiting for them. Though Astrid knew that they would wait for the two of them she knew that she could stand here forever with Steve. That was one of the things she really liked about him. Regardless of what they were doing she felt comfortable in his presence. She took his hand and walked up to Bucky and Shamira. A smile on all four of their faces. She would have more time with Steve later. Plenty of dates in the future and perhaps even more.


	4. Starry Explosions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No triggers for this chapter either. Just more hints for what is soon to come.

Astrid was standing in front of the mirror putting in her earrings. Shamira had just finished getting dressed up herself and the two of them were ready to go. The two of them dressed in red, white and blue for the Fourth of July. Her first Fourth of July in the U.S and she was glad to be spending it with Steve.

Astrid smiled as she thought about Steve. They had been dating for about five months now. Dinners, movies, art galleries, walks through the park. All of it lovely but as a relationship, they hadn’t gotten past long hugs. Her nerves were getting the best of her. Astrid knew the two of them were taking things slowly. But she couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. Feel his lips against hers. Would they be warm, soft? Would it be like fire, electricity? Astrid was dying to know.

“Shamira?” Astrid asked walking into the living room where Shamira was sitting on the love seat reading a newspaper. “What’s it like to kiss a person?”

“Depends on the person,” Shamira responded flicking through the newspaper. She put it down though when she realized what Astrid asked. “Why do you ask? Has Steve been pressuring you? If he has I don’t care how much we both like him. You deserve a man who respects your boundaries and-”

“Shamira no, he hasn’t even brought it up.” Another thing that Astrid appreciated. He hadn’t even pressured her to hold hands. “It’s me who has been thinking about it.”

Shamira gave a big smile at that. Stood up and walked over to Astrid. “You really thinking about taking the next step forward?”

“Been thinking about more than that.” Astrid chuckled. It wasn’t only thoughts of kissing Steve that were keeping her up at night. But it was way way too soon for that. “But I honestly don’t know. We’ve been dating for a while now and I don’t know if it’s the right time or-”

“Do you feel like it is?” Astrid nodded. “Then it is the right time. Trust me. He’s not going to say no if you pull him in for a kiss.”

“But when will I know if it’s the right moment?”

Shamira placed a hand over her heart. “You’ll know it in here.” Astrid got the feeling that Shamira knew more than she let out but Astrid didn’t feel like prying at the moment. Maybe later when they got back home.

They were actually going to go out of town for the Fourth of July. Down to New Jersey. Away from the crowds. Watch the fireworks off the beach. Mr. Barnes was letting them borrow his car and Astrid got tomorrow off of work. They were going to be staying in the Barnes’s beach house. If Astrid was going to find the perfect moment it was going to be during this trip. 

Astrid slipped the last few things in her purse just as she heard a knock at the door. She unlocked it with her mind as Shamira and Astrid grabbed up their bags and started heading out.

Steve was in the hallway ready help. Astrid quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek before heading down. Bucky was in the car keeping it going so that they wouldn’t get in trouble for parking. 

Pretty soon they had all the bags loaded into the car and were on there way. Bucky and Shamira sitting in the front while Steve and Astrid were in the back. It was a couple of hours away. Far enough away to make it a road trip but not too far as to make it a dreadfully boring road trip. It also gave Astrid and Steve plenty of room to cuddle up next to each other.

“You finally managed to get a day off from work?” Bucky asked Astrid. “How did you manage that?”

Astrid wasn’t going to say mind control which was the actual answer. “It wasn’t easy, that was for sure.” He had strong mental defenses. Shamira glanced at her. She knew the actual truth.

“Well let me tell you, you are going to love this place. Right smack on the beach. Not far from the boardwalk but pretty isolated. We’ll have the beach to ourselves.” Astrid had a fairly good idea of what Bucky and Shamira had planned. Considering the way that his hand was squeezing her thigh at the moment. Steve and Astrid both rolled their eyes at there friends but also glanced at each other. Those two being occupied with themselves meant that Astrid and Steve had time for themselves as well. Giving Astrid all the time in the world to figure out when the best time to kiss him will be.

An hour later Astrid was attempting to read the new Agatha Christie novel. Barely paying any attention to the pages. In reality, she was paying more attention to Steve who broke out his sketchbook and was trying to draw something. He was still pretty secretive about his art. Astrid kept glancing at him. Trying to see if she could sneak a peek. To no avail. He was probably drawing the scenery outside.

“Okay, who wants burgers and milkshakes?” Bucky called out. “There’s a diner right around here that’s to kill for.”

That broke Astrid out of her stupor. She was never one to say no to food.

“Bucky’s right, the place is really good,” Steve added in closing his sketchbook up.

“You’ve been there before?” Astrid asked.

Steve gave her a smile. “This isn’t my first trip to the shore with Bucky.”

“I’m in,” Shamira stated. “If both of you say its good then it must be.”

“That settles it then,” Bucky stated. He pulled the car down another road. He was right. Soon enough he parked in front of a nice looking diner. Bucky hoping out of the car and trotting to the other side. Opening up the door for Shamira. Steve and her got out of the car themselves and started heading for the door. Holding hands. Bucky draped his arm around Shamira's shoulders. Catching up to her and Steve. Steve opened the door for the four of them and soon the four of them were in a booth. Surrounded by other families enjoying the holiday.

“Happy Fourth of July,” the waitress stated seemly appearing from nowhere. “What can I get you all?” Astrid had barely even looked at the menu. Turned out she didn’t need to as Bucky ordered four cheeseburgers, vanilla milkshakes and apple pie for dessert. Astrid glanced at Steve who shrugged his shoulders. Guess Bucky knew what he was doing. The waitress jotted down the order and vanished to serve another family.

“We have another thing to celebrate,” Bucky stated. Steve already knew where he was going with this. “Happy Birthday to the most stubborn punk in all of New York.”

Astrid felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. Today was Steve’s birthday and she had no idea. What would Steve think of her now? Not even knowing her own boyfriend's birthday.

“Seriously?” Steve asked. “I asked you to not make a big deal about it.”

“And why not?” Astrid asked. “I think that it’s a very big deal. If it wasn’t for your birthday I wouldn’t have the most amazing boyfriend in the world.” That caused him to blush. Bucky and Shamira chuckling at him from the other side of the booth.

“Seriously though Astrid loves birthdays,” Shamira added in. “You should be ashamed for not telling her.”

“I didn’t want spectacle,” Steve answered rubbing the back of his head.

“If I knew I would have gotten you something,” Astrid pointed out.

Steve looked at her. Eyes soft. Taking her hand in his own. “The ability to hold your hand anytime I want is already the best present I could ever ask for.” Now it was Astrid’s turn to blush. Steve always had this way with words. She wanted to kiss him so badly right now. But it wasn’t the right time. She could tell in her gut.

Soon the food was placed in front of them and she realized that Bucky was 100% correct. This burger was amazing. So was the milkshake.

“So was this your plan?” Shamira asked. “Show the Germans how a traditional Fourth of July is done?”

Bucky held up his hands. “You got us.”

Astrid turned towards Steve. “You thought about this as well?”

“I know how much you miss Germany,” Steve started. “And how you can’t go back anytime soon. So Bucky and I thought that if we could make the U.S feel more like home to you two than you wouldn’t feel as homesick.”

Astrid’s heart melted at that. While Shamira shook her head.

“I swear, you two,” Shamira stated. “That’s really sweet. Astrid will say the same thing when she can form a coherent thought. So trust me when I say that both of us are extremely grateful. And I’ll be repaying that gratitude later.” Bucky gave Shamira a smile. Those two would definitely be busy tonight. She gave Steve a smirk as Bucky kissed Shamira. She wondered when those two would stop playing games and realize they were meant for each other. Still, she felt a pang in her chest. Wishing it was as easy for her and Steve as it was for Shamira and Bucky.

Pretty soon they were back in the car and on their way to the beach cabin. They arrived around mid-afternoon. Astrid stepped out of the car and looked over the cabin. It was quaint. White paneling. The front door leading right to the beach. Waves lapping on the shore. If she looked out to the left she could see the boardwalk out in the distance. This really was a nice place. Paid to be a banker.

Once Bucky opened up the cabin Astrid and Shamira stepped inside to get changed while Bucky and Steve set up a place on the beach to see the fireworks later that night.

The cabin had one large living room area, a bathroom, and two nicely sized bedrooms. Astrid and Shamira picked one to change in.

“Having fun?” Shamira asked as she was getting changed into her bathing suit.

“Loads,” Astrid answered doing the same. “Do you remember the last time we were at a beach?”

“Wasn’t it Italy?” Shamira clicked her tongue a couple of times. “Pretty sure it was Italy.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t France?”

Shamira scoffed. “We were barely there for a moment.”

“The only reason we lingered in Italy was because we were stopped by the Italian army and I had to convince them that we were two stupid tourists. And not smuggling people out of the country.”

Shamira laughed. “Oh, I remember. Some of your finest work.” She let out a whistle. “Damn you are fine in more ways than one.”

“I feel ridiculous.” She turned around to face Shamira who was the picture of elegance.

“Trust me. Steve will be more than happy when you finally kiss him. And as a bonus picturing you in that outfit will definitely keep him warm on those cold nights.”

Astrid blushed running a hand through her loose hair. Her and Steve had a bit to go before they reached that point. Still, Shamira was right. When Steve got a look at her his pupils were completely blown. Unconsciously licking his lips. Bucky, however, was much more handsy. Grabbing Shamira by the waist and kissing her deeply. 

Astrid wasn’t even paying attention to them. Focusing entirely on Steve. Who seemed to be struggling to breathe.

“You alright dear?” Astrid asked placing a hand on his chest. He was speechless for a moment before swallowing a lump in his throat.

“I’m fine,” he stated. His hands trembling as his hands touched her bare skin. She let out a gasp at the motion. Steve immediately pulling his hands away but Astrid grabbing them and putting them back in place. Closing her eyes and relishing the touch. Shamira never even mentioned that a simple touch could be so electrifying. What would it be like when she kissed him?

“As adorable as the two of you are, either of you getting in the water?” Shamira called out. Astrid glanced in her direction. Her back was pressed against Buckys. His hands wrapped around her waist.

“You gals have fun,” Bucky stated. “Steve and I will head to the boardwalk. See what we can come up with for dinner.” Bucky untangled himself from Shamira and Steve let go of Astrid. The two of them waved the boys off before heading to the ocean.

It was the most fun and relaxing trip Astrid had in a long time. Possibly ever. Just swimming in the ocean. Being able to let her guard down. By the time the boys got back, it was late afternoon. Astrid having gone back to her book while Shamira worked on her tan. Steve and Bucky joining them after they put groceries away. Bucky settled down with Shamira and the two of them were at it again. While Steve approached Astrid.

She held out her hand for him. “Care for a stroll on the beach?”

He took her hand into his. “I would love to.” The two of them started a leisurely stroll down the beach. There really wasn’t anyone around. Therefore it was mostly quiet except for the sounds of the ocean and the occasional squawk of seagulls.

“I’ve always wanted to live by the ocean,” Astrid stated. “Or on a farm. Either one.”

Steve grinned at her. “A farm?”

“I’ll have you know that my family successful grew sugar beets for several years. In between dad’s experiments and mom research.” She wondered if she was saying too much but the look that Steve was giving her beckoned her to continue. “Dad is…was a scientist. Absolutely brilliant. He was also an amateur archaeologist on the side. Specializing in Nordic. So was my mother. It was how the two of them met.”

“I would have loved to have met them.”

“They would have loved you.” Astrid had a hard time believing that anyone would not like Steve.

“Really? I’m not the kind of guy most women would bring home to their parents.” He brushed his bangs away from his face.

Astrid had to scoff. “Why? You’re smart, funny, an incredible artist. Any girl would be lucky to bring you home.”

Steve let out a soft laugh and looked up at her with such warm eyes. She just wanted to close the gap between the two of them. But it still wasn’t the right time.

“You know, I have the perfect place to watch the fireworks.” He pointed at the outcropping of rocks slightly further down the beach. They meandered there way down there. Taking their time.

When they made their way to the top the sun was starting to set. Astrid couldn’t help herself. Letting out a gasp as she watched the sunset over the ocean. 

“Seriously have you ever seen anything more beautiful?” Astrid asked as the sun finally dipped behind the ocean. It was pretty dark now. Stars twinkling in the night sky. It wasn’t over yet however as suddenly there was a brilliant flash of light in the night sky. A mix of reds, whites, and blues. She glanced at Steve. Trying to gauge his reaction to the light show above them.

Instead, he was looking at her as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world. The fireworks holding no appeal. She felt her heart beating fast and hard in her chest. As if her body was moving on its own she moved her hand to the back of his head and surged forward. Pressing her lips against his as the sky exploded above them. He was soft and warm and slight chapped.

Steve clearly wasn’t expecting that. Going rock still against her. Until his brain caught up with what was happening. His hand rushing into her hair. Other hand grabbing her waist. She wrapped her other arm around his lower back allow her to arch into her. Their chests pressed together. When the broke it off the two of them were panting. Looking at each other.

“You’re not doing this because it’s my birthday are you?” Steve asked a slightly worried tone in his voice.

“Steve, I was going to kiss you today regardless if it was your birthday or not. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“It’s just…” he swallowed hard. “That was my first kiss.”

“That was my first kiss with a guy I actually like.” This time it was him who initiated. They couldn’t get enough of each other. The heat, the passion. Shamira never said it would be anything like this. It was like fireworks.

They kept at it even after the fireworks were over. Each other’s body heat keeping them warm. Though that was soon not enough as Steve was starting to get cold. His teeth chattering. The two of them made it quickly back to the cabin.

Bucky and Shamira were nowhere to be found though Astrid was 100% they were behind the closed bedroom door. An assortment of seafood left out for her and Steve along with Steve’s luggage. None of which interested Astrid or Steve at the moment as they wanted to continue where the left off at the beach. Though Astrid also wanted to get out of her bathing suit.

“Steve,” she whispered after grabbing her nightgown out of her luggage. “Would you mind waiting in the living room while I got changed?”

“Not at all.” Steve closed the door behind him and Astrid quickly stripped down and put on her rayon nightgown. A v neck with thin straps. Once she opened the door she saw that Steve had changed as well. Again into something that was a bit too big for him.

When he got a look at her, his mouth dropped open and he surged forward. Astrid guiding him onto the bed so that he landed on it with a flop. Her on top and closing the distance with a kiss. They weren’t going to be doing anything more than kissing. Despite how sorely tempted she was to rip off both their clothes and get down to it. She wanted that moment to be special. Call her romantic but she always thought that her first willing time would be on her wedding night. She think she could cope with Steve running his hands down her back, through her hair. Never venturing farther than her lower back.

The two of them had to break off to breath. Moreso for Steve than her. Both of the panting. Steve’s body trembling beneath her.

“You’re phenomenal,” Steve mumbled still heaving. “Kissing you is better than I ever dreamt.”

“You’ve dreamt about kissing me a lot?” Astrid asked teasing him. Given the shade of red, he turned he was thinking about a bit more than kissing. Particularly since Astrid could feel how hard he was against her. She wasn’t faring much better herself. Instinctively rubbing her thighs together to relieve the tension. Astrid rolled off of him. Giving them both time to cool down.

“I think this might be my best birthday ever.” Astrid let out a laugh.

“I’ll have to find a way to top this one next year.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

Astrid moved to her side and looked at him. Planting a soft kiss on his lips. “Let’s get some food.” The two of them got up and went into the living room/kitchen area. Bucky and Shamira were there looking pretty disheveled. Both looking at them with self-satisfied smirks.

“Seemed like we weren’t the only ones having fun,” Bucky stated. Shamira slapped him on the shoulder while Steve blushed. Astrid shot him a playful smile before stealing a shrimp off his plate. Everything dissolved into the familiar bickering. Turned out that none of them really saw the fireworks. Being preoccupied with other things. After eating their fill each of them headed to bed. Bucky and Steve to one room and Astrid and Shamira to the other.

“You seem really happy,” Shamira stated lying on her side looking at Astrid. Astrid on her back.

“He was amazing Shamira, it was like fireworks.” Shamira chuckled also lying down on her back. “You’ve ever felt anything like that?”

“I think that it’s different for everyone.” She pulled the covers up so that it was covering both of them. “Remember the last time we shared a bed?”

“Three weeks when we first moved to New York and could only afford the one mattress.” Astrid's smile turned into a frown. “This trip is bringing back a lot of memories.”

“I hope all of them good.”

“For the most part.”

“You’re not thinking about him are you?” Shamira snarled the word him. As if it was venomous.

“I would be lying if I didn’t say he crossed my mind.” Astrid took a deep breath. Remembering her training. Use those memories to make herself stronger. More prepared for the next situation where she would be in need of them. They were tools. Nothing more, nothing less. “I’m going to have to tell Steve someday.”

Shamira let out of huff. “Well you know I’ll be here. Regardless of how it turns out.”

“I know Shamira. I know.” Astrid felt herself start to drift asleep. Tiredness seeping into her body. Tomorrow was another day.

It was the light seeping through the window that woke her up. That and the smell of waffles. Shamira woke up as well. Hopping out of bed in a split second. Astrid doing the same. The two of them quickly getting dressed and meeting the boys in the kitchen. Bucky was the one making waffles. Steve setting the table.

“Astrid, Shamira,” Steve stated seeing them come out. Shamira patted him on the shoulder before hugging Bucky from behind. Kissing his neck.

Astrid meanwhile pulled Steve into a gentle kiss. She was pretty sure that she would never get tired of kissing him.

“Plenty of waffles for everyone,” Bucky stated bringing a plate to the table. That broke Astrid and Steve apart and all four of them devoured Bucky’s waffles before heading back to the beach. They wouldn’t have to leave until late in the afternoon.

Bucky and Shamira went straight to the ocean. Astrid had to admit. Bucky was a good looking guy but her attention was on Steve. Due to his health, he wasn’t actually supposed to go into the water. But there wasn’t any need to as Astrid and him took each other in on the beach. 

Time got away from them and before they knew it the time had come for them to head home. They all piled into the car ready for the journey ahead. Steve and Astrid falling asleep on top of each other in the back seat. To the soft smiles of Shamira and Bucky. Who glanced at each other as well. The two of them would follow Astrid and Steve to the ends of the earth. Hopefully, they wouldn’t have to.


	5. Taking a Hit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are starting to hint at the non-con in this chapter but there are not any overt descriptions. On another note, if anyone has any scenes or scenarios that they would like to see let me know. This is a bit of a slice of life fic after all. And always let me know what you think and where I can improve.

Astrid was exhausted. Heading home from her latest shift at the hospital. A seven-hour open-heart surgery would do that to a person. Especially when one of the other surgeons was leading. It was only after their boss showed up and told them to let her take over that they actually managed to save the patient. Damn Alister. She could strangle him with her bare hands. He was also always flirting with her. Despite knowing that she was going steady.

Plus, the budget meeting, the other budget meeting. The staff meeting to discuss the results of the budget meeting. Honestly, bureaucracy could be a form of torture. Now only if Astrid had the ability to synthesize it.

Regardless all Astrid wanted to do at the moment was to go home curl up in a chair with a mug of tea and a good book. What she really didn’t want to hear was her boyfriend’s voice down an alleyway and another much louder, threatening voice saying they were going to kill him.

“Steve, what have you gotten yourself into?” Astrid asked herself heading immediately down the alleyway. She was right. Steve had got himself pinned into the corner by four pretty buff guys. How did Steve manage to get himself in these situations? But despite the size of his opponents, Steve wasn’t backing down. Glaring at the guy in equal measure. He also didn’t seem to be injured yet. ‘Good,’ Astrid thought. ‘Let’s keep it that way.’

“What’s going on down here?” she called out walking down the alleyway. Exuding the do not mess with me stance. The four men turned to face her. Sneers on their faces. She got several wolf whistles in response. But she forced herself past them towards Steve.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Steve stated looking between her and the guys that were eyeing her up like meat.

“Like I was going to leave you here alone,” Astrid replied before turning to face his attackers. Her blood ran cold once she saw the looks they were giving her. She had known those looks many times before. Usually, before she ended up being stripped bare and forced to perform. Astrid got the feeling of what Steve was trying to prevent. She was more grateful than ever for him. He was truly something special. A lot of people would pretend that it wasn’t happening. But Steve was among the brave few who would actually step in.

Her hand automatically drifted to her blades strapped to the outside of her mobile kit. Gut these people and leave them dead in the alley. Starting to figure out who she should go for first. Until even she realized the obvious. Even she couldn’t cover that up. Four dead bodies would definitely cause talk. Though she had gotten out of more dangerous situations. Way, way, way, way more dangerous situations. Plus given how the police were in the city they probably believe some guy came in and murdered the men in the alleyway before they believed it was her. One of the few ways being a woman was an actual benefit. She glanced at Steve and knew her answer. Taking her hand away from her blade. She couldn’t do that to Steve. When you see someone die in front of you, it changes you. Her mind flashed back to her mother. In times like this, she could still feel her mother’s blood on her. And she wanted to spare Steve from that. So she used the other weapon at her disposal. Her mind.

“I suggest that you boys back off,” Astrid stated her voice like liquid. Seeping into their brains. Controlling them. “Otherwise we might have a problem.” She could already see them starting to fold. They had the mental defenses of a napkin. A little push with her mind and she had them. The sneers being replaced by dull looks. She pushed it farther. Implanting the idea in their minds. “Why don’t you all go talk to your mothers and explain exactly what you have been up to? Or better yet the police. That sounds like a great idea.”

“You know that’s not a bad idea,” One of the guys said. The other three nodded and the four of them started walking down the alleyway. To the nearest police station. That would take care of the problem.

Steve meanwhile collapsed in the ally hyperventilating. She immediately whipped around and started checking on him. Calculating how long it would take to get him to the hospital. Holding a hand to his chest.

“It’s okay Steve, it’s okay. Just follow my breathing.” Luckily, he didn’t need to be taken to the hospital. After a little bit, his breathing started to calm down. Much to Astrid’s relief.

“I wish you didn’t step in,” Steve hacked looking up at her. His breathing calm enough for him to talk. “Those guys.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Those guys aren’t like the guys you usually deal with.”

Astrid gave him a small smile. He was trying to protect her. “Steve. Trust me on this. Those guys are exactly like the guys I’m used to dealing with.” He looked up at her with a frown. Probably thinking about the worst-case scenario.

“Who?” He started to ask but she interrupted him.

“I’m from Germany remember? Not exactly filled with good men.” That calmed Steve down but he still looked a little leery. Hands cupping her face. Astrid closed her eyes for a brief moment. The time was coming where she was going to have to tell him soon.

“How did you manage to do that?” Steve asked once she opened her eyes back up.

Astrid shrugged. No point in playing around it. “I’m pretty convincing.” Steve let out a laugh. The sparkle in his eye-filling her with warmth. “I did convince you to date me.”

“You didn’t need to do any convincing. The moment I saw you I fell in l-” He shook his head. “The moment I saw you I knew you were the one I wanted to go steady with.”

Addy felt her melt soften. Steve always had a way with words. She stood up. “Come on.” She held out a hand to help him out. “Let’s go back to my place. I want to make sure that you are alright.”

The two of them walked hand in hand back to her apartment. Steve’s breathing steadying as they went but Astrid was still concerned. Or maybe she wanted a chance to make out with him. Both were distinctly possible.

Though it seemed like Shamir and Bucky beat them to it. Finding the two of them on the loveseat. Both of them looked up surprised when both her and Steve walked in.

“Didn’t know you had a date tonight,” Shamira stated. It was getting harder and harder to find them not together. The only reason that Astrid wasn’t on a date tonight was because she had to work late. Even then her and Steve found themselves together. 

“We didn’t,” Astrid replied. “I found him down an alleyway. Four guys trying to beat the living daylights out of him.”

Bucky groaned and went straight to Steve. Looking over him. “You’re not too hurt are you?”

“Not at all,” Steve answered gesturing towards Astrid. “They hadn’t launched a single punch before Astrid showed up. She managed to convince them to leave with only a few words.” 

The look Shamira gave her could vaporize a person. Astrid knew she was going to get yelled at as soon as Bucky and Steve left the apartment.

“What were you doing down that alley anyway?” Bucky asked.

Steve tugged on his shirt collar, eyes shifting to Astrid. “I knew Astrid was going to be late so I thought I would surprise her.” That made Astrid melt into a puddle. “I got sidetracked.”

“Obviously. Astrid, can you look him over?”

“That was my plan.” She laid down Steve on the couch and checked over his chest. His breathing was much steadier.

“I’m fine, really.” He said slightly aggravated. Steve never really like being fussed over. Not that Astrid could blame him. She hated it herself. But in times like this, it was necessary.

“I know dear, but I’m also paranoid. So indulge me will you.” Steve rolled his eyes fondly at her. Pulling her in for a quick kiss.

“That enough proof for you that I can breathe?”

She gave Steve a quick smile. “I’m not sure. Can you do it for longer?” A fond look passed over Steve as he pulled her in. This kiss was different from the ones before. It was like he was trying to see that she was safe. Possessive. Running his hands up and down her arms. What those guys were doing must have really scared him.

“I get your point.” She looked up at Bucky and Shamira who were standing over them with soft smiles. They were used to this by now. Astrid directed her eyes towards Bucky. “He’s fine but I would like it if you saw that he got home safe and sound. And not involved in another fight.”

Bucky nodded and he and Steve started heading home. As soon as the door shut behind them Shamira whirled around to face Astrid. Tapping the side of her head. Astrid sighed and connected their minds.

‘_What could you possibly have been thinking_?!’ Shamira thought shouted at her in their native tongue.

‘_What else was I going to do_?’ Astrid snapped back.

‘_I don’t know. Maybe kill them_?’

Astrid rolled her eyes. ‘_Right because murdering four people in front of Steve is a great way to remain inconspicuous. And in a relationship. He would totally want to keep going steady with me after that_.’

‘_Please, that man is so in love you that you could murder four people and he’d help you bury the bodies. The only question he would ask is where to bury them_.’

Astrid was taken aback at that. Quickly disconnecting their minds to give her time to think. Her mind a whirl. Steve was in love with her? She shook her head. Shamira has clearly lost her mind. Astrid spoke out loud. “You don’t know that.”

It was Shamira’s turn to roll her eyes. “We’ll work on your obliviousness later. Right now, you’re an idiot.” She scoffed. “Did you even think about the consequences? About what might happen if this was to get out?”

“I become known as the woman with the golden tongue?”

“Or that your fath-” Shamira stopped herself. “If he gets word of it. He could have spies everywhere. Hell, he probably does have spies everywhere. What do you think will happen then? How would you explain it to Steve? Hell what that would do to me if he found you.”

Astrid huffed. “I would rather risk that than have any harm come to Steve. And you know I would do the damn same for you.” Astrid knew that Shamira had some kernel of truth to it. He was still hunting her. Probably always will be. Which is why her and Shamira agreed to lay low. If he actually found her…Astrid didn’t want to think about how brutal that fight would be. Because she would die before willingly going back. But when she saw Steve her priorities changed. And all that mattered was making sure that he was safe. The thought of Steve being hurt made her stomach twist in knots. If he got hurt and there was something that she could have done about it… she would have never forgiven herself. It was not only Steve either. She would willingly cut off her own hand if it would keep Shamira from danger.

Shamira sighed leaning against the wall pinching the bridge of her nose. “We have to keep a low profile. It doesn’t help that your boyfriend draws so much attention. Next time Steve is in trouble just stab them. We can always run away to Kanas if you are charged with murder.”

“Right I can imagine that conversation with Steve. Sorry that I just murdered people in front of you. I guess I have to go farm corn now for the rest of my life. Care to join me?”

“Steve on a farm would be amazing. He might actually be able to go a week without someone trying to beat him up.”

“Please, Steve will always find someone to fight regardless of where we are. He could be a 90-year-old man and he’ll still be trying to beat people up.” The two of them chuckled. Tension easing. Astrid gave Shamira an appreciative smile. She always helped keep Astrid’s head on straight. She always had and always will. God knew what she would do without her. 

Shamira wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “Come on. Let’s go get food and you can tell me how terrible work was.”

Astrid let her head fall back and groan. “You have no idea. Some days I wish I could just quit.”

“Don’t. One of us has to make money. And volunteering does not bring it home.” Astrid smiled at her friend. Shamira volunteered with an organization helping Jews and others who managed to flee the Nazis. Helping them settle into the city. Most of the time Astrid wished she could join her cause but there was the ever-looming specter of money.

They started heading out the door. Heading to their favorite little diner around the corner. “You and Bucky are getting along,” Astrid pointed out. “I haven’t seen you with any other guy for a while.”

Shamira tsked. “That’s because you’re at work all the time. Trust me. There are more guys than just Bucky.”

“Still haven’t seen them around the house like I used to.” Astrid nudged her.

“If your complaining that much about it maybe I’ll bring them around.” Astrid shook her head. She knew that Bucky and Shamira were starting to focus on each other more. Granted they still saw other people but it was becoming less and less frequent. Astrid may be an idiot when it comes to love and dating but Shamira was an idiot when it came to commitment. 

“As long as they don’t clash too badly with Steve I won’t complain.”

Shamira chuckled at her friend. She was so in love it wasn’t even funny. It might take 100 years to recognize it but that wasn’t too surprising. If Shamira was honest with herself she was surprised Astrid was in a relationship at all. Considering…everything. But Steve made her genuinely happy. Something Shamira couldn’t argue with. Now if only those two would actually confess to each other that would make her day. More importantly, Astrid could finally shed her last name and be completely free from the past. Embrace the future and all the joys that are in it. For that is what she really wanted for Astrid. And why she was eternally grateful for Steve for leading her into that bright future.


	6. Sickness Brings Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in this chapter for mentions of child abuse and noncon acts in the past. This is a doozy of a chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still taking requests. Let me know what you would like to see.

Astrid and Steve had just past the half-year mark in their relationship and she couldn’t be happier. Steve had been nothing short of amazing to her. Yet her feelings were complicated by her doubts. Would he feel the same way about her if he knew the truth about her past? It was so unlike her to have these kinds of thoughts. But then she also never expected to actually fall in love with a guy. Given all the abuse she had experienced.

It hit her at dinner last night. Nothing they hadn’t done a thousand times before. As she watched him laugh at another one of her stupid jokes she realized that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Wanted him to be the father of her kids. But she had no idea how to tell him.

And right now her doubts were going haywire. For the first time in the entire time, they have been going steady Steve was late. She was in her apartment with Shamira sitting on the love seat while Astrid was pacing. Trying to calm her nerves.

“He probably got in a fight in some back alley,” Shamira suggested. “He’ll be here any moment.”

“That’s supposed to make me feel better?” She continued to pace around the apartment before stopping in front of Shamira. “Shouldn’t you be out with Bucky or someone?”

“Your man is not the only one who is late.” That worried Astrid even more. She felt her heart leap up into her throat as she heard a furious pounding at the door. Opening it up she saw Bucky standing on the doorstep. Looking immensely haggard. He was panting. Hands-on his knees as if he ran the entire way here.

“Steve is… Steve is..” he tried to get it out. He was panting hard.

“Easy,” Astrid stated holding a hand to his chest. “Easy. Just take a couple of deep breaths.” Once he calmed down Astrid focused in on the issue. “What’s wrong with Steve?”

“He’s sick. Like really sick. I haven’t seen him this sick in a long time.”

Astrid’s blood ran cold. For a second her entire world froze before immediately springing to action. Grabbing her mobile tool kit that she kept in the closet when it wasn’t on her. When she turned to Bucky the relief was evident on his face. He quickly led them to Steve’s place. Not one of them saying anything. Just wanting to get there as quickly as possible.

As soon as Bucky opened the door, Astrid knew it was bad. She could smell it. The apartment was tiny and sparse. Steve clearly did not have a lot. But she barely noticed. Heading directly to the bedroom where she found Steve lying in bed. She rushed to his side and started examining him. Shamira and Bucky staying close by. Holding hands.

Sweat was pouring down his entire body. Each breath was labored. Except when the cough racked through his entire body. His eyes glassy. Skin burning to the touch.

“Astrid?” he mumbled leaning into her touch.

“Don’t speak,” she responded. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you.” She turned to Bucky. “When did all this start?”

“He was complaining about a sore throat and headache yesterday,” Bucky replied. “I told him to rest and take it easy.” Despite the situation, Astrid snorted. Rest wasn’t something Steve did willingly. “You know what it is?”

“I have a fair idea.” Astrid took out a pad of paper and a pencil out of her bag. Quickly jotting down a prescription and address. Handing it to Bucky. “Get to that address as quick as you can. Tell them that I sent you.” Bucky nodded and sprinted off. Not even bothering to ask questions. 

“What can I do?” Shamira asked.

“You still know the recipe for the soup?”

Shamira let out a grin. “Say no more.” She headed out as well.

“Astrid?” Steve mumbled again drawing her attention back to him. She took his hand.

“Hey. I’m here. Have you been able to drink anything?” Judging by the empty glass of water on the table it looked like Bucky managed to force something down. Good. “I’m going to get you another glass of water okay?”

He used what little energy he had to shake his head. “…Stay.” Astrid signed. Normally she wouldn’t do this but Steve probably wouldn’t remember. Slowly she floated the glass over to the sink and turned on the tap. When it was full she brought it to her empty hand. Taking out a pouch of dried powder she poured it into the glass and mixed it.

“Can you sit up for me?”

Steve tried but the racking cough prevented him from moving much. Astrid slowly helped him up and brought the glass to his lips.

“I know you feel awful right now and this stuff is going to taste like trash but I need you to drink it.” The look of sheer determination he gave her, despite his body failing him was all the indication she needed. She helped him swallow it down. Even as he was fighting the urge to gag. Once the glass was empty she brought it down beside her.

He was starting to breathe slightly easier now. That was no cure but it would help ease some of the symptoms. She moved so that she was sitting on the bed next to him.

“You… you should not be here. I do.. don… don’t want you getting sick.” His teeth were chattering. The chills getting to him.

Astrid smiled. “In case you didn’t notice Steve my job has me around a lot of sick people.” His entire body was paler than normal. “I’m going to open your shirt up.” Even sick he managed to blush as Astrid slowly undid the buttons. Normally she would take time to relish this action. But at this moment she had a job to do. When his shirt was undone she saw his bare chest underneath. He really was a stick. The faint outline of bone obvious. She slowly pulled the shirt off of him completely.

“Li-li-like wh-what you see?”

If he’s breathing wasn’t still labored she would have pulled him in for a kiss. “Of course I do.” She took a second to feel him up. Placing her hand against his chest. Feeling his heartbeat underneath her hand. “This might be slightly uncomfortable.” She tapped his chest a few times with two fingers. Carefully listening. Once she was done she moved to his back and did the same thing. “As I thought. You have the flu and a mild case of bronchitis. You should be fine in a week. As long as it doesn’t develop into pneumonia.”

“Th-that all?”

Astrid nodded. “Yeah, that’s all.” She laid him back down. Pulling and tucking the covers up and around him. “Get some rest.”

“Yo-yo-you’ll be-be here when I wake up?”

She kissed his forehead. “Like you can get rid of me.”

Still, he didn’t seem to want to rest. Keeping one eye open on her. She let out a small soft smile. As much as she could will him to sleep she wasn’t going to manipulate his mind in that way. Instead, she did what her mother used to do. Softly singing him a lullaby. She didn’t even get through the first verse before he was out like a light. Hopefully, the medicine she gave him would allow him to stay asleep.

She got up from the bed and moved to the kitchen. Looking to see if he had what she needed. Steve seemed to barely have anything at all. It was like a wrench in the gut. Astrid gritted her teeth and promised herself she would make sure that Steve was never in want of anything.

Opening up the cupboards. She noticed he had a stockpot, a baking sheet, a cutting board, and a set of dull knives. She took out one of her blades from her bag. Unfolding it and placing it on the counter. It’s intended purpose was to never cut vegetables but that was far better than what it was actually used for.

It was just in time too as Shamira came in carrying the groceries.

“This brings me back,” Shamira stated as she placed the bags on the table. Astrid immediately set forth grabbing the carrots and started peeling them with her blade. “Does he not have knives?”

“Dull.” She had already made her way through two of the four carrots.

“Well hand me the other one. Let’s see if I can handle the chicken.” While Astrid sorted out the vegetables Shamira worked on spicing up the chicken and roasting it. Once they prepped all the ingredients, they threw it in the stockpot along with some chicken broth. As soon as the smell started wafting through the door Bucky came bursting in. Panting and carrying a brown paper bag.

“You got it?”

Bucky nodded. “The guy refused to talk to me until I mentioned your name. As soon as I brought you up he handed me everything and said it was free. Also, to remind you to come over for dinner at some point.”

Astrid let out a chuckle as she loaded up the needle with the medicine. “I should bring all of us. She loves to cook and I haven’t had good soul food in a while.” She went back over to Steve and injected it into his shoulder. It almost felt like it would go completely through him. He stirred a little bit but calmed. Still asleep.

“You guys go,” Astrid stated. The two of them had joined Astrid in the bedroom. “Enjoy yourselves.”

“But what about-” Bucky stated to say when Shamira interrupted him.

“Astrid is a highly trained doctor. She can do way more for him than we can. And we will only get in her way. Trust me. He’ll be up and alert by the time we get back.”

Bucky begrudgingly nodded, knowing that Shamira was right. He nodded at Astrid and took Shamira’s hand.

“Take care of him okay.”

Astrid looked back on him. Knowing how heavy those words were. And how much he trusted her. “I plan on it. He may not be my whole world but he’s an important part of it.” Bucky blushed and smiled. Astrid knew exactly how Bucky felt about Steve and how Steve felt about Bucky. She gave a glance at Shamira who was shaking her head and silently laughing. Yeah. She knew exactly how they felt.

It was two hours later that Steve woke up. He was still cold but eyes slightly less glassy. More alert overall. Astrid was still at his bedside. Only getting up to check on the soup.

“Astrid?” he mumbled trying to sit up. She gently pushed him back down again.

“I’m here,” she replied. “Like I said I would be.” He let out a sigh of appreciation and took her hand. His eyes already drooping again. “Get some more sleep.”

His eyes snapped open and he started sitting up in bed. “Not yet. There’s something I need to tell you.” The way his eyes flickered. The muscles tensed. His body trembling not from chills but from something else. Astrid knew exactly what he was going to tell her.

“Steve,” she stated. “Before you say what you thinking there are some things you must know.” She got up and lied down on the bed next to him. Placing her head gently on his chest. Waiting to feel his heartbeat for more than one reason.

He sat up further in bed now that he had the strength and smiled. Coming his hand through her perfectly crafted curls. “What? You can read my mind now?”

The world stood silent for a moment. Astrid wished it would stay that way so that she wouldn’t have to say what she had to say next. “Yes,” she whispered her tone soft. “I have the power to read minds and move objects. Along with other abilities.” Steve didn’t say anything. Just kept looking at her as if waiting for her to continue. “Here. I’ll show you.” With her mind, she reached out and connected with Steve. For the first time in a long time, she was having a telepathic communication with someone other than Shamira.

‘_You see what I mean_?’ she asked Steve. She watched as his eyes went wide. A million thoughts flooded their brains. She winched. ‘_Can you ease up a little?’ _

“Sorry,” he replied both out loud and in the mind.

‘_You don’t have to speak. I can hear you quite clearly.’_

_‘Sorry,’_ he replied this time in mind alone. ‘_What else can you do?’_

‘_I can plant suggestions in people’s minds. Make them forget things occurred or make them think that something else happened.’ _She summoned the glass of water on the bedside table with her mind and handed it to Steve. ‘_Along with moving objects, creating shields and who knows what else. I’m still not sure what I’m fully capable of.’_

He took the water from her hand and placed it back on the table. ‘_How long have you been able to do this?’_

‘_Since I was born apparently.’_ She let out a hollow laugh. ‘_I have no idea why I can do the things I do. I only know that I can do them.’_

_‘Okay.’_

Astrid sat back up, looking slightly taken aback. She stared at his perfectly blue eyes. ‘_What do you mean okay?’_

He gripped both her hands. ‘_It’s just another part of you to learn about. I intend to learn everything there is to know about you.’_

‘_There is something else you need to know.’_ She withdrew her hands and curled them into herself. It was time. There was no hiding it any longer. She threw him a wicked grin. Might as well get it over with. “I have been with other men,” she spoke out loud. She could see the confusion on his face. “Right after Hitler rose to power Nazis came to our town. We were 12 at the time.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “Unfortunately, I caught the eye of one of the Nazi soldiers.” She remembered his face. The way his eyes bored into her. “A young up incoming commander who insisted that I come with him. He wanted…he wanted me to be his fiancé. When my parents said no, he shot my mother in front of us. Threatening to kill everyone if I didn’t go with him.” Her words rushed out. If she stopped now she would never be able to finish. “I agreed to go with him to avoid more bloodshed. He beat me.” Her fingers curled around her arms. Still remembering the bruises that were no longer there. The memories still haunted her but that’s why she was good at her job. “He would rape me repeatedly. Sometimes bringing others to watch or even participate if they gave him money.” She watched as the look on Steve’s face grew more and more horrified. But her thoughts turned to another matter.

“Due to the abuse, I went through I was handpicked for a specialized Nazi program. One that specializes in pain. In inflicting it on others.” She didn’t need to say it out loud. Steve knew. “It was them who trained me to be a doctor. Though it was more of a side effect rather than a goal.” She let out a deep breath. “So before you say what you were going to say you need to know that. I’m not ashamed of my past but it is a part of who I am. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” She looked up at Steve’s face which was a mixture of disgust and rage. She knew. She knew this was too good to be true. It was only when he brought her in for a kiss that she realized that he wasn’t angry at her. The kiss was hard, passionate. Possessive. As if she has only ever kissed him and no one else.

“You’re a survivor,” he whispered pressing his forehead against hers. “I promise you that no one will ever touch you without your permission again. I’ll make sure of it.” It was her that brought him in for another kiss. And for the first time in her life, she opened up her mind. Connecting to his so that they could share what they were both feeling. The physicality of the action and the emotion that was coursing through their veins. The feeling of it was indescribable. Almost overwhelming if it wasn’t Steve.

“You love me,” they both stated at the same time breaking off the kiss. Still psychically connected. She could feel how he felt. Tears were pricking Steve’s eyes and she cupped his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him though it was a pointless question. She just wanted to hear it out loud.

“I’m so incredibly happy. The most amazing woman on earth loves me back. I’ve found the right partner.”

“You’re not the only one who's incredibly happy. For the most amazing man on earth loves me back. My partner.”

“You two are the sappiest people I’ve ever met,” Shamira interrupted bringing in two bowls of soup. Followed by Bucky who was bringing in another two.

Astrid sat up and looked over at the two of them. “You overheard most of the conversation, didn’t you?”

“Yep,” they both answered. Astrid broke off the psychic connection. The tension rising in the room. She looked at Bucky. Monitoring his expression.

“Astrid,” he stated. “If you can move things with your mind can you grab these bowls from us?”

Astrid laughed doing exactly that. Floating two of them and placing them on a nearby table while bringing one to her and Steve.

“You made soup?” Steve asked. Picking up some with the spoon.

“It’s more than that,” Shamira replied exchanging a smile with Astrid. Both Bucky and Steve looked at each other and took a bite. Their expressions ranged from shock to pure joy, to utter bliss. “Told you.”

“This is the most amazing thing created by mankind,” Bucky stated. Steve was already looking healthier.

Astrid and Shamira leaned into each other and looked over the boys. “We know.”

“How?” Bucky asked.

Astrid shrugged. “Don’t know really. Goes back generations. Everyone in our home town knew it by heart. The theory is that you could cure any illness with it.”

“A theory which has been extensively tested,” Shamira added on. “Also it tastes amazing.”

“You can say that again,” Bucky replied. The four of them curled into each other on Steve’s rather small bed. Sharing in the warmth, the love, and the food. And there was no other place Astrid would rather be.


	7. Surprises Galore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Astrid moved to New York City she thought that she could get a new lease on life. Leaving her war-torn country and her past with it. Yet some scars cut deep. Deeper than she thought anyone could heal. Expecting nothing out of life everything changes when she meets the kind, courageous Steve Rogers. Her life will never be the same again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warning for this chapter. Though the sexual tension between Astrid and Steve is growing. It's only going to get worse from here. Still taking requests so if there is something you want to see in the lives of young Steve and Astrid let me know.

Astrid pinched the bridge of her nose. She was ready to go home and crawl into bed. But alas she still had patients to see. It was clinic day after all. Where she had to see whoever walked through the doors of the hospital. All the docs rotated and today was her lucky day. So far she hadn't treated anything more major than a slight cough. She was so much more suited to surgery.

"You're going to like this next one," Betty stated coming out of the examination room after the initial exam. Prim and proper. She was one of the oldest nurses in the place and the person that kept the hospital running most days. Naturally, Astrid sought to befriend her the first week she was here.

"I better," Astrid replied walking towards the door to the exam room.

"When have I ever lied to you?"

Astrid chuckled as she opened the door. Her eyes widening when she saw who was inside. Quickly shutting the door behind her.

"I honestly did not expect to see you today," Astrid said walking to the exam table. "I must say it's a welcome surprise."

Steve let out a small grin at that. "I figured I'd wait to see the best doc in this place. Make sure I'm doing okay." Steve had just recovered from the illness he had. Astrid was going to do a follow up with him tomorrow but now seemed as good a time as any.

"I hope you didn't wait too long." She put her hands on the exam table and lowered herself so that she was at eye level with Steve.

"Oh the wait was well worth it."

Astrid let out a chuckle. "Well I have to conduct a very thorough examination."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "I certainly hope so. Where are we going to start first doc?"

Astrid tipped her head as if pondering the question. "How about the inside of the mouth? Don't worry I have the perfect tool for it." She kissed him pressing her tongue inside his mouth. He let her in. Letting out a moan at the experience. Wrapping his legs around her to try and draw her in closer.

Astrid had wanted to do this for a while and finally had the confidence to do so when she realized Steve loved her. Only he was sick and in no condition for it. But now seemed like the perfect time. She knew that Betty wouldn't let anyone in. Giving them all the time in the world. He had already taken off his jacket and tie. Allowing her to start unbuttoning his shirt.

Steve broke off the kiss and looked up at her. Pupils blown out. "A very thorough examination remember?" she asked him once she got it fully unbuttoned. Allowing her to finally soak it all in. Biting her lip as she looked him over. "You are gorgeous." He really was. His skin was flawless. A pure milky white. Though Astrid could clearly make out his collar bone and the clear outline of his ribs. But that was nothing some good food on a daily basis couldn't help fix. She traced his ribs over with her fingertips causing his breath to hitch.

"Your breathing actually does sound better," Astrid noted pleased. She placed her ear against his chest to listen to his heart. Not normal procedure but this was Steve. "Definitely better." She pulled her head back up.

"I know exactly who to blame for that," Steve replied. "I hope you don't do that for all your patients."

"Only one very special one." She placed her hands back on him. One of his back the other on his thigh as she pulled him closer to her. "Maybe we should also test to make sure that all the other equipment is also working."

That caused Steve to turn red. Astrid chuckled. His whole body really did blush. "Astrid," he gargled unable to say anything else. Astrid waited a moment for Steve's brain to catch up with what was happening. Didn't seem like it was going to.

"Steve?" she asked after a minute of him not saying anything. "You doing okay?"

"I'm fine," he squeaked.

Astrid frowned. Seemed like Steve wasn't comfortable with that aspect of the relationship yet. No matter. She would give him all the time he needed. All the time she didn't get. She ran her hands down his shoulders. That seemed to ease the tension in his body. She gave him a quick peck on the lips before going through the actually examination.

Unfortunately, Steve's previous doctors were right. He was in pretty poor condition. Astrid always had an inkling that they were wrong or maybe it was hope. But there was no turning back now. Steve Rogers would always struggle with his health. Getting more and more difficult as he got older but Astrid wasn't going to give in. She would do everything in her power to keep Steve with her for as long as possible. Growing old with him.

Since the confession she has been thinking more and more about the future. About Steve and how he fit in it. It seemed more permanent now that she knew that he loved her. Like there was a future worth thinking about. A bright future given the look he was giving her. She felt her heart swell. She had his complete and utter trust as she examined him. Finally finishing up.

"You are good to go dear," she stated smiling at him. "As much as I wish I could spend all day with you I have other patients that I need to look at."

"Actually you don't," Steve stated starting to button his shirt up. "I spoke with your boss." Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Shamira spoke with your boss and she learned that you were pulling extra shifts lately."

Shit they were not supposed to learn about that. Astrid huffed lowering her head. Yes she was pulling extra shifts but Astrid couldn't help it. There were patients that she could help. Hell patients that only she could help. So she pulled a couple of extra hours here and there. Maybe not taking her breaks. Did it really matter? Steve and Shamira also worked long hours. And she still found plenty of time for both so why did it matter.

"So Shamira asked if she could steal you for half a day. He replied that we could take you on your clinic day."

Well, that was nice of him. He knew how much she hated clinic day.

"Shamira also asked if he could schedule your clinic hours on a particular day." Astrid didn't know where he was going with this. He was fully dressed again and hopped off the table. "Happy Birthday my love."

Astrid blinked a couple of times. She had genuinely forgotten today was her birthday. "Shamira told you didn't she?"

"Actually, she told Bucky who told me and together we came up with this plan."

"This coming from the person who hates making a big deal about his birthday that you didn't even tell me."

Steve shook his head fondly. "Coming from the person who loves birthdays." He softly smiled and held out his hand. "I know that you haven't officially celebrated it in years."

12\. Astrid hadn't officially her birthday since she was 12. Mom always made a big deal about it. Something about her reaching a certain age and all would be revealed to her. Unfortunately, she never reached that age. Her mother was killed and Astrid kidnapped and for years she dreaded each birthday. One year closer to reaching 18 and being forced to marry that vile man. When that didn't go as expected birthdays didn't really matter. Becoming nothing except Shamira and Astrid quietly reminiscing together.

"But I want to change that," Steve continued. "Now come on. Get changed. We got a celebration at the Barnes's to go to." Of course, they would be roped into it. The two of them left the room holding hands. Betty giving Astrid a little wave as they went. They parted ways at the waiting room. Astrid heading to the locker room. Quickly getting changed.

As she smoothed out the creases in her dress she took a deep breath. This was actually happening. She was actually going to her own surprise birthday party. Excitement bubbling up in her chest. She rushed out of the locker room and joined Steve. A smile on her face. Swept up in her happiness they made there way to the Barnes's.

Shamira and Bucky were already there. Ushering them inside. Astrid had to take a minute to take it all in. Even from the doorway she could see that Anna really went all out again. Bucky dragged Steve away. Something about a surprise.

'_You really didn't have to plan all this you know,_' Astrid projected to Shamira who draped an arm over her shoulders.

'_I did_,' Shamira replied. '_You deserve your birthdays to be a happy occasion. Or if you want you can think of it as revenge for mine._'

'_You loved it as I remember.'_

"Come in, come in," Anna gestured dragging them both inside. "Birthday girl needs to be shared with the rest of us."

Astrid laughed and moved out of the doorway to inside. Surrounded by Bucky's family. It was a joyous occasion. Filled with fun and good food. Near the end of the meal they were sitting around the living room. A raging fire going on in the fireplace.

Steve and Astrid was sitting on the floor together. Curled up next to each other. Bucky and Shamira across from them also on the floor. Everyone else on couches or chairs. Astrid could feel her eyes start to droop. It had been a long day.

"You two are so cute together," Anna stated. That woke up Astrid and she turned to face her.

She heard Thomas chuckled from the chair next to her. "When's the wedding?"

Astrid snorted. "Don't know. Get this man to propose first and then I'll have an answer for you." That let out a round of chuckles but she felt Steve go rigid against her. Her stomach dropped. Feeling that she had said something wrong. Her and Steve have never discussed marriage. Not surprising considering that they had only confessed their love for each other. As the conversation delved into other topics Astrid turned her mind to Steve. Nudging him slightly first.

'_Did I say something wrong?'_ she asked Steve. He jumped slightly but managed to cover it well.

'_Still have to get used to this,_' he replied. '_No you didn't say anything wrong. It's just… you want to get married.'_

'_Yes. Why is that so surprising?'_

She felt him shift slightly against her. _'I thought given your past._'

'_I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to let that man ruin my life. But did I expect to ever get married? No. That was until I found you. So yes I do want to get married. When the timing is right and we are both ready for it._' She felt unspeakable joy flow from Steve to her and he curled up closer to her. His mind starting to fill with ideas and Astrid cut the connection. Not wanting to snoop on his private thoughts.

"There is one more surprise," Bucky stated getting up and leaving Shamira on the floor. Steve got up as well. Untangling himself from Astrid. Leaving the room with Bucky. Shamira scooched her way to Astrid. Laying her head on top of her shoulder.

"You are going to love this," Shamira stated as Steve came in carrying a rolled-up piece of paper. A light blush coming across Steve's cheeks. Astrid carefully took it from his hand and slowly unfurled it. Letting out a gasp when she saw what it was.

It was her. From the chest up. In perfect detail. Wearing her surgeon's gown. From the soft curls of her hair to the way she held herself. She had a determined look in her eye. Ready for whatever challenge was ahead of her. But it was more than her. It was how Steve saw her. He could have chosen any pose but he chose this. And that made Astrid's heart swell even more.

Done entirely in pencil each stroke was perfectly placed. It was like a masterpiece. Like she was about to step out of the paper. Astrid had no doubt in her mind. This belonged in a museum.

"Steve," she mumbled. "How long did it take you to make this?"

"Several hours," he answered rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't know it was going to be your birthday so I had to throw something together. It's not perfect but I hope you like it."

"Not perfect?" If Astrid had several weeks and all the time in the world she couldn't come up with something even 1/8th as good as what she held in her hands. Steve didn't just have a talent. He was a genius. "Steve this is one of the most beautifully done pieces I have ever seen in my life. And you know that I go to a lot of art galleries." The blush deepened on Steve's face and Bucky gripped his shoulder. Keeping him upright.

"It's only because I have the perfect muse." Screw getting married later. Astrid would marry him right damn now if he asked.

Astrid carefully rolled up the paper and handed it to Shamira. Standing up from the floor. Bucky backed off from him and Astrid embraced him in a hug. Clutching his tiny frame into her. "That was one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever been given."

"Hey, I got the frame for it," Shamira stated passing it along so that the others could look at it. Too oos and ahs of the others.

"I'll talk to you later," Astrid replied still embracing Steve. He clung onto her just as tightly. She could feel the worry fade away from his bones. Even now he was worried that the relationship was just a figment of his imagination. She held him tighter promising to do all she can to show him that she was here to stay.

After wrapping that up it was time to head home. Saying their goodbyes to the Barnes's. Shamira keeping a hand on Astrid's present. Waiting patiently for Astrid to join her side. Astrid however had other plans. Gesturing towards Steve. Shamira let out a huge smile tugging Bucky towards her. Whispering something in his ear. He glanced between Astrid and Steve who was still busy with Anna and gave a wink to Astrid. Taking off with Shamira.

"Those two are definitely getting up to something," Steve stated joining Astrid's side. "Shall I take you home?"

"Actually I'm thinking that we should head to your place." She swore she heard Steve gulp and tugging at his collar. "Relax. Nothing much is going to happen. I just want to spend the night with you."

"Would you want something to happen?" He sounded a little chocked.

"That's entirely up to you." Judging by Steve's reaction nothing was going to happen. He wasn't quite comfortable yet. Didn't matter. All she wanted to do was sleep next to him. "If you're not okay with it I can head home." She felt the wind catch in her hair. Nights were starting to get a little chilly. "It's starting to get cold at night."

"Might need some help keeping warm." He looked at Astrid and took her hand. Walking her slowly back to his place. Once they finally got to his place Steve couldn't open the door fast enough. Astrid pulled him inside and they made their way straight to his bed. He laid down first and Astrid laid on top of him. Slotting her knees by his hips. Hands-on either side of his head.

Leaning down and kissing him. He snaked a hand into her hair. Another one resting on her hip. Unconsciously starting to hike up her dress. Astrid got the message and sat up taking off her dress and slip. Leaving her in her brassiere, all in one and stockings. Steve let out a gasp. Hardening quickly beneath her.

Steve sat up as well. Taking off his tie, and suit jacket. Pulling down his suspenders. Unbuttoning his shirt and letting him clothes fall on the floor next to Astrid's. Astrid actually hopped off of him for a moment. Unzipping her all in one and rolling down her stockings. No way she was going to be able to sleep in that. Astrid longed for the day where women's undergarments didn't involve several intricate pieces and like 20 minutes of hassle getting them on.

She curled up next to Steve in bed. Covering all of him that she could. He was like a solid block of ice. She drew the thin quit over them. Making a note to get Steve a thicker one. Couldn't have him freeze when winter hit. Steve keeping his hands to himself. Rotating so that his back was facing Astrid. She drew him in closer. Pressing her face into his hair. This really was her best birthday ever.


	8. Work Day Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I had a good chunk of the story planned out when this little chapter popped into my brain. No triggers unless you're sensitive to slurs against the Irish. As always please review and let me know what you think.

Astrid entered the small dusty shop. Tucked away in the corner of a not so busy street. Astrid had to go out of her way to get here. A little bell over the door signaled her arrival. Though it sounded lifeless.

The first thing she noticed was how dark it was. Lights either dimmed or nonexistent. Just made her nervous. There was something off about this place. She glanced down the shelves. Artwork and antiques of various kinds piled high. Seemingly organized in some random fashion. Bucky was right. This place could use a serious overhaul. She took a finger and wiped it over a shelf. Leaving a trail in the dust. Seemed like this place hasn't been cleaned since…well possibly ever. That couldn't be good for Steve. He was sensitive to so many things and this place was a disease factory.

Speaking of Steve… where was he? Astrid looked around but she couldn't seem to find anyone. She knew that she got the address right. Double-checking to make sure. He definitely worked here and the store was most certainly open. But there didn't seem to be anyone around.

Weaving her way through the clutter of stuff she made her way to the back. Picking up the sounds of voices. Everything seemed to be muffled in here. The voices got louder as she made her way to the counter. Almost sounded like heckling. Astrid's bad feelings only grew.

When she finally got to the counter she heard the fighting coming from the back. Behind even more shelves. Filled to the brim with the most random stuff. Some of which Astrid didn't even recognize. This store was a lot bigger than the outside led her to believe. The counter served as an anchor point. Everything stemming from that. A big man with a beer gut and thinning hair manned the counter. Rubbing a dirty cloth over the surface.

"How can I help you Miss?" he gave Astrid a toothy smile. Clearly missing a few of his teeth. Just as Astrid was about to ask about Steve she heard some more shouting in the back. Someone yelling stupid mick. Can't even breathe right.

"What is going on back there?" Astrid asked trying to peer around.

"Aye. My assistant is helping out some other customers."

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Your customers normally shout slurs at your employee?"

The man shrugged seemingly not caring. "He's Irish. Doesn't really matter. They are only a little better than the Jews." He was walking a real fine line. Astrid clenched her fist. Fighting against punching him in the face. "Only keep him around since it's a pain to find other workers." He fished out a cigarette out of his pocket. Taking a deep drag. "You know you Germans are doing a good thing. I mean Hitler." He let out a whistle. "He has some real good points. We should probably do something with our Jews."

Oh, that was it. She was going to get Steve out of here. Even if she had to drag him out of here. Bypassing the counter, ignoring the owner, she made her way straight to the voices in back. She felt her body chill as she found Steve on the floor. Clutching his chest.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?!" Astrid asked. All attention turned to her. Steve looked up at her eyes wide. Slightly shaking his head. She could feel the emotions pour out of him. Both worry and immense relief. Astrid kneeled down next to him. Finding his pulse. Counting the beats under his skin. His heart was going crazy. Definitely giving him trouble at the moment.

'_Chest pains?_' Astrid asked in her mind. Steve looked up at her and gave her a slight nod. It was pretty bad then if he couldn't even talk. He grimaced, clenching his teeth together.

"We were only teaching this mick a lesson," one of the jeering men stated. Astrid shot them a glance. There were only two of them but it only took one to do any damage. "I mean seriously. Doctors should have killed him when he was a baby. Save society the trouble of having to take care of him."

Something in Astrid snapped. She looked up at the two of them. Murder in her eyes.

"I suggest that you boys leave this instant," she all but snarled the words.

"Or what?" the other man asked shoving his friend playfully. His friend at least had the sense to look scared. He knew Astrid wasn't playing around.

"If you don't leave in the next five seconds, I'm going to carve out your eyeballs and stab needles into your ears. Let's see how useful you are to society when you are both blind and deaf."

"Your bluffing." The more oblivious stated. The other one was already trying to head for the door.

Astrid finished around her back. Pulling out the syringe she was looking for. As well as a scalpel. "Am I really?" The two of them took off faster than Astrid could blink. Shouting but Astrid paid them no heed. Her attention turning to Steve. She put the scalpel back in her bag and grabbed the vial she needed. Having started carrying around some of Steve's meds on her. Filling the syringe up with a slightly blue liquid.

'_This is not going to feel good,_' Astrid sent to Steve. '_But it is going to help._' Steve nodded. Astrid quickly took the arm which wasn't clutching his chest and rolled up his sleeve. Injecting the medicine directly into his body. He let out a groan. Astrid going back to checking his pulse. Now entering a more steady rhythm.

"You are a miracle worker," he mumbled hand dropping from his chest. "What was that?"

She gave him a small smile. "My own concoction. I've actually got a lot of things I would like you to try. See if they could help."

"I meant with the bullies." He waved his hand in the direction they took off in. "You do know they are going to be even more trouble when they come in next."

Astrid's mouth dropped open. Eyebrows shooting to the top of her head. "This isn't the first time you've seen them?"

"They come in every week for a few hours." He shrugged. "Mostly just heckling. I've gotten used to it by now." He had gotten used to it. Astrid took a deep breath. Resisting the urge to chase after those two men and torture them until they begged for death. Instead, she helped Steve up. He was still a little wobbly on his feet. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was in the area treating a patient and decided to stop in. Wanted to see if you were free for lunch. Though now I have other plans." She took his hand and started leaving the store. Walking past the counter. Heading directly to the door.

"Hey!" the owner shouted not bothering to do anything. "Where do you two think you are going?!"

Astrid whirled around and glared at him. Putting herself between him and Steve. "I suggest that you shape up and clean this place up." Astrid spat. "Otherwise you might find this place on fire. Potentially with you in it." She turned back around and all but dragged Steve out of there.

"Unbelievable," she stated once she got out. "He's lucky that he still has all of his fingers." She continued walking. Holding onto Steve until he pulled her to a stop.

"Astrid," he said slight annoyance in his voice. "You've made it really hard for me to go back tomorrow."

She looked down at him. Confusion etched onto her face. Astrid pulled them so that they were standing in an alley. Off of the main sidewalk. "What do you mean? Going back tomorrow? You are never entering that building again."

Steve looked at her as if she lost her mind. "I work there. I have to go back. Otherwise, I'll get fired if I'm not already." He sounded immensely dejected and Astrid had no idea why.

"Steve. That man is a bigot at best. I have no idea why you are working for him in the first place. Honestly I-"

"He was the only person who would hire me." It was like the world had gone quiet. "It wasn't great but he did pay me. Without it…" His breath seemed to stutter. "Without it, I won't be able to pay for my meds."

Astrid felt her heart break at that moment. How long had he had to work there? Withstanding those terrible conditions just so he could keep on living. She lowered her forehead so that it was touching his.

'_Steve I'm a doctor. I can just grab your medicine anytime I want from our supply room. No one would say anything._' She huffed. _'Besides I can probably make something in the lab that's far more effective then what you're currently taking._'

A look came across Steve's face. As if he was only realizing this. '_You would do that for me?'_

"_I would drag all the night stars out of the sky if you asked me to. Of course, I would do it for you.'_

_He gave her a small smile. 'I'll take you up on that. But as for a job I need one Astrid. To be able to stand on my own._' He took ahold of her hand. She understood where he was coming from. If he just relied on her or Bucky then he would feel like he was something that had to be taken care of. While Astrid wouldn't have minded if he spent his time just working on his art she knew that wouldn't make him happy. Not at the current moment anyway.

'_I can't let you go back there. If I didn't show up when I did.' _Her mind went quiet for a moment. _'Your heart was beating too fast Steve. If I hadn't shown up when I did they could have killed you. And that place. I felt ill walking in there. And that's not even talking about your old boss.'_

He placed a hand against her cheek and she leaned into it. '_I don't have a choice, Astrid. I've tried finding other work but no one will take me._'

She bit her lip. Turning off the connection. There must be something that she could do for him. But without any medical training jobs at the hospital were out of the question. Astrid honestly wished he would just peruse his passions. Find a job that wasn't slowly killing him while also giving him time to draw. She stood there wracking her brain. Trying to come up with something when it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Steve," she stated a large smile forming on her face. "I think I have the solution."

She took his hand and started walking. Slowly so that Steve could keep up. Luckily it wasn't too far away. Though she took a turn down a couple of streets Steve wasn't expecting her to. Down streets where they didn't find people who looked like them. Astrid and Steve catching several curious glances. A few people calling out her name and she shouted greetings back.

"You really do know a lot of people," Steve noted as they walked into the store Astrid was leading him to. In contrast to the dingy disaster Steve was working in this place was nice and clean. Brightly lit and well organized. "Though what are we doing in a pharmacy?"

Astrid ignored him for the moment and walked up to the pharmacist. A tall thin older black man with wide eyes and a smile as large as his heart.

"What can I do for you Astrid?" He glanced at Steve behind her. "Who's the fella?"

"Steve. My partner," Astrid replied.

Steve walked up and held out his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Sir."

He took Steve hand in a firm grip. "Good to meet you, Steve. I've been wanting to meet the man who captured Astrid's heart. You are one lucky son of a gun."

Steve shot him a smile. "I count my blessings every day that I'm with her." A faint blush appeared on Astrid's cheeks. Steve would always be able to get to her.

The man chuckled. "You are good man Steve. You might actually deserve her. But where are my manners? I'm Leonard but most people call me Leo." He held out his arms. "And this little place is my establishment. Now, what can I get you?"

Astrid clapped Steve on his shoulder. "I think Steve here could be your new assistant." Both of the men turned to look at her. "Steve is honestly one of the hardest working people I know. And since your son started his job down at the docks you could use an extra set of hands."

"You don't need to convince me, Astrid. If you've going steady with him I know he's a good man." Leo turned to look at Steve. "Astrid's right. I could use an extra set of hands. The pay is fair and there's plenty of downtime. I'll even give you half off on your meds. Astrid has told me you're not in the best of health."

Steve glanced between Astrid and Leo. As if he couldn't believe what was happening. Taking a few moments to form an answer.

"I would be honored to work here," Steve replied. She could feel the gratitude bubbling forth from him. Both towards her and towards Leo. Astrid knew the two of them would get along.

"Now that the two of you are here, you must stay for lunch," Leo told them. "My wife would kill me if I let the two of you go now."

"We would love to join you," Steve replied. "And maybe you can inform me how you met Astrid."

Leo chuckled. Moving towards the front door. Flipping the sign on the front door to closed before opening the door in the back. Beckoning them inside. His apartment was right above his shop. "It's amazing really. It all started when Astrid saved my son's life." As he continued the story Steve squeezed Astrid's hand. Letting his feelings flow freely to her. Just the amount of love. He tapped the side of his head and Astrid connected their minds.

'_You are incredible,' _Steve told her. '_How did I get so lucky to be with you?'_

'_Just by being who you are Steve,' _Astrid replied.

He gave her a smirk before turning back to Leo. Who was listing every person Astrid had helped while unlocking his door.

"Seemed like you've saved everyone in the neighborhood," Steve commented.

"Just about," Leo answered. "Everyone here knows that Astrid is the go-to Doc. One of the few who treats us fairly."

"Is that Astrid?" a voice shouted from the inside. The door was pulled open and a beautiful black woman with greying hair answered. She looked like she could have stepped out one of the fashion magazines. She embraced Astrid in a hug. "How's my favorite doctor doing?"

"Doing well Madeline," Astrid responded as Madeline swayed her back and forth. "You've been taking your medicine?"

Madeline slapped her on the shoulder. "Don't bring business into this. Not until you introduce me to this handsome young man." After Astrid introduced Steve the two of them were ushered inside. Welcomed inside with open arms. This was a perfect place for Steve. A chance to build a future he thought he might not have. And Astrid was happy to be a part of it.


	9. Bloody Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it certainly has been forever but don't worry. I haven't forgotten about Astrid and Steve. As always please review and let me know what you think. No triggers for this chapter either though if something does bother you, let me know and I'll tag it

Shamira was tugging at Bucky's clothes. Pulling off his jacket while he undid his tie. Throwing it in the corner of the room. They were in Astrid's and Shamira's apartment. Home after a night of dancing. Astrid was working the late-night shift. Wouldn't be back for hours. Giving Shamira and Bucky plenty of time.

Shamira was ready to get out of this dress and get down to business. Bucky was her favorite partner by far. He actually knew how to please a woman. A surprising number of men had no idea. Shamira made sure that Steve wasn't going to be one of them. Insisting that Bucky tell him exactly how to make a woman happy. Astrid should thank her when they finally get to it.

Pushing him on the couch he threw her a wicked grin. Spreading his legs. Shamira ready to slip out of her dress when she heard the door start to open. She whipped around to see Steve coming in with the spare key. Both he and Bucky had one just in case. They actually all had keys to each other places.

Shamira had to chuckle. Finding herself in a similar circumstance as she did when she first met Steve. Except instead of him being beaten up and bloody his eyes were rimmed red. As if he had been crying. Shamira frowned and move to the couch. Sitting next to Bucky.

"I think I really messed things up," he chocked out wiping his eyes with his arm.

"What happened?" Shamira asked.

"Astrid and I got in a fight." That took Shamira back. Those two never really fought. Sure, they had their arguments about Steve taking care of himself but that was more playful. Actually, arguing on the other hand.

"What did you guys fight about?" Bucky asked.

"I'm such an idiot," he mumbled leaning against the wall.

"We won't know that until you answer the question, Steve," Shamira pointed out.

Steve took a deep breath. "We were at my place this morning." Astrid had taken to spending some particularly cold nights with Steve. Shamira knew nothing much happened other than sleep but it was still progress. Considering Astrid's intimacy issues. "And Astrid mentioned maybe getting some stuff for my place." Okay, Shamira didn't see what the problem was yet. "I stated that I was working on it and asked her what she would like around my place." Still didn't see what the problem was. "That's when she said that I didn't have to worry about it. She would take care of it."

"Oh, I see where this is going," Bucky said rubbing his forehead. "You told her that you could take care of yourself and that you didn't need her." The looked Steve gave him confirmed it. Shamira winched. Astrid would not have been happy hearing that.

"Okay look," Shamira brought up. "If this has anything to do with you being the man in this relationship and it's your job to take care of her then she is going to be-"

"That's not it at all," Steve replied. He gulped. "Astrid takes care of so many people. So many depend on her. I depend on her. But I shouldn't for everything. She shouldn't have to feel that she has to give everything to me. Serve me." He physically shuddered as he said those words. "She's her own person and deserves to be taken care of too. She doesn't have to be strong all the time."

Shamira's eyes softened and she looked over at Steve. "Steve you're going to be fine." He looked sharply at her. "I've had that exact argument with her several times and I'm still around." She let out a sigh. "You got to remember that Astrid had to be strong for years. She wouldn't have survived if she wasn't. So it's really hard for her to let that go." The same was also true for Steve. Honestly, the same thing he was saying about Astrid could also easily apply to him.

"I know. I try not to push her but the idea of her spending that kind of money." He went silent. Closing his eyes. "I'm not a charity case for her to take care of."

"She doesn't think you are Steve," Bucky pointed out. "She just wants to take care of the one she loves."

Steve scoffed. His sadness changing to anger in front of them. "That might not be the case anymore."

"I'm pretty sure that one fight isn't going to cost you everything," Shamira replied arching her eyebrow.

"That's what I thought. Until…" he wiped his eyes again. Tears springing to his eyes. Steve was a real mess. The worst Shamira had ever seen him. "I went to the hospital to apologize. I knew when she had a break in surgery. So I went over and was pointed in the direction of the break room. Just as I was about to enter I saw her through a crack in the door." He was starting to hyperventilate a little bit. Bucky springing immediately into action. Helping Steve slow down his breathing.

"Easy Steve, just tell us what happened. It can't be that bad."

The look that he gave Bucky said otherwise. His breathing slowing down slightly. Still going to quickly for their liking. "I saw her in civilian clothing talking with a man I have never seen before."

"And?" Shamira asked. "Could have been a coworker or a patient." If Steve was troubled by her speaking with another man than their relationship might be in more trouble than Shamira thought.

"That's what I thought until I saw him walk right up towards her. Placing a hand on her shoulder. And one underneath her chin." Okay, that was odd. Astrid didn't let anyone into her personal space. Shamira was majorly surprised that she had let Steve in so quickly. "I couldn't hear what they were saying. They were speaking too softly for me to hear. But Astrid didn't seem opposed to what he was doing."

"What happened next?"

Steve shook his head. "I don't know. I ran here as soon as I saw him try and go for a kiss."

Bucky shot Shamira a look. But she shook her head. There was absolutely no way.

"So you're upset that she might be seeing someone else," Bucky asked.

Steve nodded in response. "I need help winning her back. Seeing that man so close to her. Touching her." Shamira smirked. Jealously. Pure and simple. But unlike other men, Steve actually seemed to be handling it well. Not blaming Astrid for it but instead taking it upon himself. To do better. To make himself better. Astrid was incredibly lucky to have such a guy in her life. The exact kind of guy she needed. Which is why the situation that Steve just described made no sense.

Bucky patted him on the back. "Why don't you get yourself cleaned in the bathroom and we can brainstorm ideas." Steve seemed to perk up at that idea. Heading to the bathroom. Leaving Bucky and Shamira alone for the moment.

"There is no way right?" Bucky asked looking at Shamira.

"Absolutely no possible way," Shamira responded. "You know Astrid. Something else might have been going on." That's the only possible explanation Shamira could think of. Because she would know if Astrid was seeing someone else. Unless she was panicking about her relationship with Steve and was looking for something or someone to help her cope. But even then it would be more likely to be a woman rather than a guy.

While both her and Bucky were pondering the situation. Shamira heard the door opening up. Drawing both her and Bucky's attention. Her eyes widening as Astrid stumbled in. Her chest covered in blood.

"I have royally screwed up," Astrid stated to the stares of shock from Shamira and Bucky.

"Okay Bucky we need to go get a shovel," Shamira told him. Bucky nodded. "Astrid we can lay low someplace for a few days until this blows over."

"Wait what?" Astrid asked. She looked down over herself. Pulling at the massive spot of blood on her dress. "Oh, this. This doesn't matter. I'll get to this. No, the problem is that I think I've screwed things up with Steve." There looks turned from shock to confusion. Astrid let out a sigh. "Okay look. I was staying over at Steve's place this morning. And I mentioned that he could use a thicker quilt since its getting colder outside and perhaps a nice thick jacket as well. He replied that he was working on it and I told him that there wasn't any need. I would take care of it. That's when he snapped at me that he could take care of himself and I may have snapped back and…" Astrid shook her head. "It doesn't really matter. Point is that we had a really stupid fight that didn't get resolved and I had to go to work." She leaned against the wall. Pinching the bridge of her nose. "I've spent most of the damn day trying to figure out how to make it up to him."

Shamira and Bucky glanced at each other "And you're here for ideas on how to make things better?" Bucky asked.

Astrid held up a hand. "It gets worse. I decided that I was actually going to switch shifts. I couldn't go another minute without trying to fix things with Steve. I got dressed for home finally figuring out what I was going to say to Steve. Only to realize that I forgot my keys in the staff room. So I went there to quickly grab them. Only to see Alister holding onto them." Now Shamira had a pretty good idea of what happened. She let out a smile. Steve had nothing to worry about. "I told him to give me back my damn keys. Alister being the dumbass that he is pocketed my keys and touched me." Astrid shivered. "He said some bloody nonsense about playing games. I told him that I wasn't playing games. That's when the bastard tried to kiss me."

"What happened next?"

Astrid gave him a what really look. "Seriously? I stabbed him. Isn't it obvious?"

"… you stabbed a guy who tried to kiss you?"

"Like I ever am ever going to let anyone other then Steve kiss me. I honestly should have stabbed him as soon as he touched me. I feel like I need a hot shower just to get the feel of him off of me."

Shamira couldn't help herself and started chuckling as Bucky was still processing the situation.

"Anyway our boss heard the commotion and stepped in. The bad news is that he repaired the stab wound. Good news is that at least I'll never have to see Alister again since he also got fired. But that's not the worse part. Steve actually came to the hospital even after I treated him like garbage that morning. I saw him take off after Alister tried to kiss me." She slid to the floor. "He probably thinks that I'm cheating on him."

"Oh, I doubt that," Shamira stated still sitting on the couch.

Astrid looked sharply up at her. "How can you possibly know that?" She shook her head. "I need ideas on how to make this all better. Show him that he's the only person I ever want to be romantically involved with for the rest of my life. How can I show him how wonderful, brave, and spectacular he his? How much he absolutely means to me." Neither Shamira or Bucky could hold back. Both of them chuckling. "That is not helpful."

"Astrid you've got nothing to worry about."

"What? Why?"

"Because Steve's been here the entire time listening to your story as well." Astrid's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "He showed up shortly before you did." That's when Astrid looked up and saw Steve standing behind the loveseat. His stature previously blocked by Bucky.

"He didn't you hurt you, my love?" Steve asked running his hands over where he saw Alister touch her.

"No. I'm fine." She cupped his face and looked up into his eyes. "Have you been crying? Who hurt you?" Astrid looked like she had been punched in the gut. "Was it because of our fight? I can't apologize enough. I have never ever wanted to hurt you."

"You two are both idiots," Shamira remarked looking over the two of them. Both Steve and Astrid turned to face her. "You both have the same damn problem of letting people take care of you. Neither of you have to be pillars of rock all the time. You can both take care of each other. So stop being so damn stubborn and lean on each other every once in a while."

Astrid and Steve turned back to look at each other. "I could use a new jacket," Steve noted. All three of them gave him a look. "And maybe a few other things too."

Astrid sighed. Looking at Steve for a moment before embracing him. "I feel like my skin is trying to crawl off my body."

Shamira thought she literally heard Steve growl. Running his hands over Astrid who was soaking it in. She shared a glance with Bucky and the two of them shrugged. Those two still had a lot to figure out but they had their entire lives to do it. Even a blind person could tell that those two belonged to each other. For they were both strong enough to handle each other's worries and they knew it. And hiccups like this were bound to happen as they learn how to be in a serious relationship. Shamira had faith in them. There would be ups and downs but they would make it through.

"Now can you two please leave so that Bucky and I can continue what we were doing." Steve and Astrid snorted. Glancing between the two of them.

"Let me get changed first," Astrid stated. "You wouldn't believe the looks I got on my way over here."

Shamira gestured towards Astrid's bedroom and Astrid went inside. Ready to get changed. Leaving Steve to look somewhat sheepish.

"Told you it would work out," Bucky said gripping Steve's shoulder. "Maybe you'll get lucky tonight."

Steve turned a bright crimson and stuttered. Shamira laughed. She knew that Astrid was more than ready. Being with Steve had let her explore that possibility. That and the many lengthy conversations she has had with Shamira about it. She was just waiting for Steve to be ready. Bucky meanwhile making Steve more comfortable with the idea.

"I can't," he mumbled softly rubbing the back of his head as Astrid walked into the room. Deciding that pants and a blouse were in call today.

"Come on Steve," Astrid stated walking towards the door. "Let's leave these two to their fun. We need to get you a new jacket anyway."

"Only if I can hold your hand the entire time," Steve noted. Shamira rolled her eyes. Those two were ridiculously sweet. Astrid smiled at him. Taking his hand and leaving the apartment. Those two would definitely be staying at Steve's place tonight.

Bucky and Shamira glanced at each other before getting back to it. Bucky stripping off his pants while Shamira got rid of her dress dragging Bucky to her bedroom. Just another night per usual. Shamira and Bucky getting down and dirty while Astrid and Steve competed to be the sweetest couple on the planet. Shamira briefly wondered if their roles were ever going to be reversed. Until Bucky pinned her to the wall and attacked her neck. She stopped thinking at that point.


	10. Dancing with Elephants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is such a cute chapter and one of my favorites. Astrid and Steve are really coming together. Also trigger for sexual situations (female masturbation). Basically, skip all of the bath scene if it's a problem. As always please review and let me know what you think.

'_They are running late_,' Astrid pointed out glancing at Steve's watch. '_If they don't show up soon I think we should head in without them_.'

'_Give them a minute_,' Steve suggested looking up at Astrid with a smile. '_They'll be here_.'

'_They better be. You've been looking forward to this movie for a while. There's no way that I'm going to let you even miss a moment of it_.' Steve and Astrid were standing outside there nearest movie theater. Waiting for Bucky and his date. Shamira was stuck at work which was why she wasn't here. Astrid really wished that she was. They would have been inside by now. Instead of standing out in the cold. Despite Steve's warm clothes, she was still worried about his health.

Just as Astrid was about to insist they head inside she saw Bucky come running up. A bouncing blonde in his hand.

"Sorry we're late," Bucky huffed glancing at his date. "Judith and I got caught up in something." Judith giggled twirling her hair around a finger. Astrid rolled her eyes. She knew exactly what they were caught up in. "Judith this is Astrid and Steve."

"The pleasure is mine," she stated shaking Astrid's hand with a smile. Astrid took it with a firm grip. A smile on her face.

"Ma'am," Steve said holding out his hand. Judith glanced between her and Steve. Giving Astrid a 'seriously' look before taking Steve's hand like it was a piece of trash. Astrid decided right then and there that she did not like Judith. She was going to have Shamira give Bucky a hard time over this. If the boys noticed they didn't say anything.

"Shall we head inside," Astrid suggested. "It's getting a bit chilly out here. Steve and I already picked up the tickets."

"Then Judith and I will grab the popcorn," Bucky announced causing Judith to break out in another fit of giggles. Astrid couldn't roll her eyes more. But at least they were heading inside now. Astrid handing Judith and Bucky their ticket before Steve and her headed to their seats. If Steve wasn't looking forward to this movie so badly, she would suggest that they bail and go to literally anything else.

She somewhat changed her mind when Steve snuggled into her tapping the side of his head. Astrid got the message and connected their minds. One adorable thing about Steve was that he could not stop talking when watching animated movies. With Astrid, he didn't have to fight it. He could share his thoughts without annoying everyone else. His excitement eased Astrid's feelings about Judith. They were kind enough to bring the popcorn after all.

Her sour mood completely disappeared when the movie started and Steve started talking about the watercolor backgrounds and cell animation. Asking questions about what colors were being used. Astrid noted that it was mostly earth tones. Though he noted that the backgrounds were not as detailed compared to the previous Disney films. Clearly done on a cheaper budget.

The only time that his mind quieted down was during the Baby of Mine part. That part of the film hit them both deeply. Snuggling into each other. Tears pooling in their eyes. Grateful that they both understood how it felt to lose their mothers. Their mood-brightening once the pink elephants showed up. Good mood continuing through the rest of the movie. Tears of joy at the end when he reunited with his mother.

"That was absolutely delightful," Astrid stated as they left the theater. She had her arm wrapped around Steve. Drawing him in close. "So nicely done."

"I actually found it to be a bit boring in parts," Judith replied. Astrid shrugged. Everyone had their own opinions. "Honestly though I don't get animated movies. Seems like a waste of time to me."

Steve was taken aback. "Animation allows us to express ideas that we would normally be unable to. Plus the sheer artistry of it."

Judith huffed not even bothering to look at Steve. Astrid could feel her sour mood coming back. Glaring at Bucky who mouthed sorry at her. "I mean art is great and all but it's not like it adds much. You can't make a career out of it."

"Steve's an artist," Bucky pointed out. "A really good one."

She finally turned her attention to Steve who seemed to shrink into Astrid. He wanted to be anywhere else right now. "That's not the kind of thing that you can support a family on though."

Astrid had moved on from not liking her to finding a ditch she wanted to shove her into. "Steve's work is good enough to make it into art galleries," Astrid replied plastering a fake smile onto her face. "Also if work is slow I'm a doctor. I think the two of us would be able to support a family just fine."

"That may be true for now," Judith explained talking as if she was speaking to a child. "But what are you going to do when you have kids and have to stay at home to raise them."

Oh, she was one of those kinds of women. Astrid didn't have a problem with them as long as they didn't have a superiority complex. Like they were better than those women who worked for a living. And boy did Judith have one.

She sent one thought through to Bucky. '_I better not see this one around again._'

'_Trust me. You won't._' Bucky responded. He was putting on a good show though. Taking Judith's hand. The sex better have been damned amazing.

The four of them sat down at the restaurant Bucky made reservations at. Big band music playing in the background. Astrid could see couples dancing.

"Oooh Bucky, let's go dancing," Judith exclaimed pulling him towards the dance floor. "You should join us too Astrid."

"I'm afraid I don't dance," Astrid replied sitting down at the table with Steve. Taking his hand. "We'll get drinks for you guys."

"Oh come on," she took Astrid's arm. "I'm sure we can find you a dance partner." Judith was starting to grate on Astrid's nerves. Astrid was about to lash out with her mind to get her to let go when Steve stepped in.

"She told you she doesn't dance," Steve snarled. That startled both her and Judith. Bucky meanwhile had a proud look on his face.

Judith let go of Astrid and looked between Steve and Astrid. A smile once again appearing on her face. "Okay." She took off towards the dance floor. Taking Bucky with her. Bucky shot them a look saying help me but Astrid slowly shook her head. He was the one who brought her after all.

"Thanks for that," she told Steve before turning back to look at the couples. It wasn't that she couldn't dance. She had the training, the skill, the experience. But it was dancing that landed her in the arms of that man. Which led to her mother's murder and kidnapping. It was her ability to dance that he used to entertain the men that abused her. To promote himself. It became not a joy but a tool for others to use. Her dance no longer her own. Which is why she was so grateful for Steve stepping in. He knew how she felt about dancing. Astrid focused back on Steve. Cupping his face in her hands. "How are you doing?"

"Honestly, kinda used to it," Steve replied. "This is kinda how dates went before I met you." Astrid started to feel rage start to boil in her chest. How? How could they treat Steve like that? She took his hand into her.

"I hope our dates are much better."

Steve smiled at her. Filling her heart with love. "I could be in the middle of a battlefield and I would still be amazingly happy if you were by my side." Dear word the man could get to her. Because he was always genuine. Astrid could feel it. Her heart beating fast. Like it did on their second date. And she knew right then and there that she wanted him. Wanted to know what it would be like to be with a man who actually loved her.

"Steve," she mumbled licking her lips. "Why don't we-"

"That was fun," Judith interrupted killing the mood. Astrid shot her a withering glare but she didn't seem to notice. "You should really try dancing." She shot a glance at Steve. "I'm sure you'll find a very willing dance partner."

Astrid put back on her very fake smile. "I've already found the perfect partner." She blinked a couple of times. "Have you?" Astrid had to fight against her inner desire to use her skills against her but it wouldn't even be a challenge. Also while she was pompous, self-conceited dullard, she didn't quite deserve that. Yet.

"Who wants drinks?" Bucky asked. "Steve why don't we get something for these lovely ladies. Steve glanced between Astrid and Judith looking worried before joining Bucky and heading to the bar.

"You know I don't get it," Judith stated resting her chin on her hands.

"You don't get what?" Astrid asked. She had a feeling she definitely wasn't going to like where this conversation was going.

"Why a girl like you is with a guy like him." Oh, Astrid really didn't like this conversation. "Like you look like a million bucks. You could have any man in this place and yet you are going steady with that weakling." Astrid was about ready to tear her throat out. Her jaw clenched. Judith was walking a very fine line. "Like how can you even think that he is worth your time? He can't even support you. Compared to you he's nothing. Less than nothing. There is absolutely not one remarkable thing about him."

And she crossed the line. Astrid didn't think she would be using her talents again. She promised Shamira that she wouldn't but she knew Shamira would make an exception for this.

"Steve is a better man than any of the fellas that you have gone out with. With the exception of Bucky and you're the second-choice pickings."

"I'm sorry?"

Astrid flashed her a smile. It was clear what this girl's weakness was. Her ego. "I know your type. Got every man wrapped around your finger. Or so you think. News flash. Most guys are only interested because they know they don't have to work too hard. Why else do you think that you can't keep a man? With Steve I know I'm the only one who shares his bed. Can you say the same?" Astrid could start to see Judith turn crimson. This was way too easy. "Steve is absolutely devoted to me. And makes that devotion well know. Do you know what's that like? To have a man completely loyal to you?" Astrid tsked. "Somehow I doubt it. After all there isn't much to be devoted to. Just another girl waiting to say yes to the first sorry excuse for a man who proposes." She flinched at that and Astrid knew she had her. "Or maybe you've already said yes, haven't you? Let me guess. An older gentleman. Perhaps one of your father friend's." Judging by the look Judith was giving her she was right on target. "And all of this is just trying to get another man to propose so that you can turn the first one down. Only there doesn't seem to be any takers." Astrid smile grew wide. "Bucky isn't going to ask either just to let you know. I suggest that you try and find an easier mark."

"Here you go ladies," Bucky stated placing a drink in front of Astrid. Steve hopped back up. Looking surprised that Judith was still alive. Nursing his own something. Nonalcoholic of course. If he actually drank either Astrid or Bucky would have to carry him home.

Astrid downed it and smiled. "Actually I was thinking about heading home early. Care you walk me home Steve?" The look that she was giving Steve made clear her intentions to everyone at the table other than Steve. He still knew nothing about women. She slipped off the chair and took Steve's hand.

Bucky shot her a wink. "Have fun, you crazy kids." She gave him a wave as she took Steve out of that place. Heading straight for his apartment. Astrid would make food there if she had to.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"Let's just say that Judith and I had a very interesting conversation and we are probably never going to see her again."

"I got that much from Bucky. Honestly was surprised that she was still there when we got back."

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "You expected me to scare her off?"

Steve shrugged. "Wouldn't be surprised." They had made it back to his apartment. Astrid opening up the door with her set of keys and heading in.

"I won't lie and say I wasn't tempted." Astrid started pulling the hairpins out of her hair. "I'm going to take a bath and start getting ready for bed." She swore she heard Steve run into a wall.

"You..you're going to have a bath here?" Steve stammered looking at her.

"If you're okay with it." This would be the first time Astrid had bathed at his place. Normally waiting until she got back home. But at this moment she just wanted to soak in some hot water. Steve nodded looking at little wide-eyed. Astrid smirked and started stripping off her clothes as she headed to the bathroom. Grabbing a nightgown first before heading in. "You can join me if you like." She thought that she heard something crash and Steve calling back saying to enjoy herself.

She turned on the hot water and took out a vial out of her mobile kit. She never went anywhere without it. Never knew when she needed it. Dumping the vial in the tub. Immediately bubbles started to froth up and Astrid stripped off the remainder of her clothing. Stepping in she could feel the tension leaving her body. Closing her eyes as she took in the scent of lavender. Knowing that Steve was just on the other side of the door. Probably changing. It made Astrid heat up in a whole other way. Sliding her hand down her body. Reaching for her sensitive spot.

Astrid normally never did this. Never really wanted to. But the tension between Steve and her was slowly driving her insane. Not wanting to put pressure on him either. This was the next best thing. Imaging that it was Steve's hand as she brought herself close to release. Her hand gripping the edge of her tub as she got closer and closer. Moaning his name as she tipped over the edge. Not caring if he overheard. He should know that he was in her thoughts during her most intimate moments.

She stood up and got out of the tub. Her body feeling like jello. Taking the towel and wrapping it around her body. Fixing up her hair for the evening. Finally changing into her nightgown and exiting the bathroom.

Looking around for Steve she found him in bed. He sat up when he saw her come in. Covered in a thin layer of sweat.

"Steve?" she asked laying a hand on his forehead. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied his words rushed out. His cheeks were flushed and was panting slightly. Eyelids half closed as he looked at her. She kissed him softly on the lips. Steve eagerly responding. Hands moving lower than they had ever before. Fingertips dancing along her lower back. Holding her down as she felt him grow hard underneath her. But before she could start grinding into him he shifted underneath her. Moving out from underneath Astrid. She suppressed the urge to groan in frustration. She would wait for Steve. No matter how long it took. So she settled for wrapping her arms around him. Holding him close to her body.

"Do you want kids?" Steve asked. Astrid was slightly taken aback. Not expecting this line of questionings.

"I do. I'm thinking at least two."

"A boy and a girl."

Astrid hummed in response. "That would be perfect. Sarah and Joseph Rogers." She felt Steve's breath hitch slightly.

"Do you mean that?"

"Absolutely."

Steve was quiet for a moment. "Well, then we need at least four."

"Let's aim for one first and go from there."

Steve turned so that he was facing her. "You really want to have kids with me?"

"Steve I could think of no better person to father my children than you." The kiss he gave her was soft. Sensual. Like he was wrapping her up in a cocoon of love. Astrid couldn't get enough of him. Connecting their two minds together. Letting the love between them flow as they fell asleep in each other's arms.


	11. The Coming Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No triggers for this chapter but it is still a bit of a doozy.

Astrid was in the waiting room finishing up some paperwork when she heard the news on the radio. Dropping her pen on the desk as she and every other person in the room turned to look at the radio. Her blood running cold at the news. It was official. The great freakin U.S of A had joined the war. She felt her world start to spin. There was now no longer any safe place to go.

Barely making it through the rest of her shift she rushed home. Finding Shamira on the couch with her head in her hands.

“You’ve heard the news haven’t you,” Astrid stated closing the door behind them. It was no longer safe to speak in German. Hadn’t been safe in a long time. The only time they used it was when they were communicating with thoughts. Like they were doing right now. Astrid linking their minds as Shamira tapped her head.

‘_We need to come up with a plan,’ _Shamira thought hopping off the couch and pacing around the room. ‘_Now that we are officially at war the chance for spies is much greater. We are in danger staying in such a large city. I think tonight we should pack up and start heading out west. Get a farm out in the middle of nowhere. Start with wheat or something. I’m thinking Kanas. I highly doubt he even knows that Kansas exists.’ _She was rambling. Unable to get her thoughts out fast enough.

Astrid shook her head slowly. _‘I can’t go.’_

‘_What?’_ Shamira stopped her pacing and took a few steps towards Astrid. ‘_What do you mean you can’t go?’ That was always the plan if this country got involved. What could have possibly changed?’_ Her thoughts went silent. A look of realization spreading across her face. ‘_It’s Steve isn’t it.’_

‘_I can’t leave without him._” Her hands curled into fists._ “I love him Shamira. I can’t imagine life without him. He’s the man I want to marry. The man I want to father my kids.’_

Shamira shrugged. ‘_Then he comes with us.’_

_‘And if he says no?’_

_‘Then we come up with another plan.’_ Shamira pulled her in a hug. ‘_Whatever happens, we are in it together. As we always have been. As we always will be.’_

They slowly separated when they heard the door open and Steve and Bucky come in. Astrid took a deep breath. Wondering how she was going to word this to Steve.

“You’ve heard the news?” Steve asked her planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Kinda hard not to.” She rubbed the back of her head. “Listen Steve I-”

“Bucky and I are going to enlist.” Bucky rolled his eyes at that declaration.

And what Astrid was about to say died on her tongue. Looking Steve up and down. There was no way he was going to agree to move. This was hit him hard as well. Just in a completely different way. “What?”

“We’re going to enlist.” Astrid continued to stare at him. Still wondering if she was hearing things. Steve? Steve the man who couldn’t run a mile without breaking down due to an asthma attack. The man who spent most nights in the winter barely keeping warm enough to not freezing to death was going to enlist. He took her hand. “I’m going to help fight the men that destroyed your country, your families.”

“Steve that’s impossible.”

Steve looked taken aback. Hurt. “Astrid there are men lining up to serve. Ready to give their all. I’m ready to do the same.” Astrid glanced back at Bucky. Seemed like he had this argument earlier. His eyes asking her to talk Steve out of it.

“No Steve I’m literally saying it can’t be done. They won’t take you. You won’t pass the damn physical.”

“Which is why Bucky is going to train me to pass.” There was an edge to his voice. An edge Astrid had never heard before. And it hit her that this was a turning point in their relationship. One that could make or break it. Her head telling her it was stupid. Illogical. That she should protect Steve no matter the cost. But her heart… Her heart said something else.

“This is really important to you isn’t it?” The look Steve gave her told her everything. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. No matter how much training Bucky did they would never take Steve. But that wouldn’t stop him from trying. Serving meant everything to Steve. For what would be a greater calling than fighting against an evil purpose hell-bent on taking over the world. Standing up for what is right. Astrid shrugged. “I guess I’ll have to get used to having an army boyfriend.” The relief in his eyes was evident but also the unmistakable look of joy. He pulled her in for a kiss. Tugging at her to connect their minds so that he could express all that he couldn’t say. And Astrid understood. He would do anything to serve.

“Have you lost your mind?” Shamira asked looking between Astrid and Steve. They broke off the kiss. “You can’t honestly tell me that you support this?”

“Someone has to fight,” Astrid snapped back undeservedly so. But she was riding the high of Steve’s emotions. “Before he destroys more people’s lives.”

“Astrid you were there. You remember the carnage, the death. You literally watched all our friends explode in front of you.” Oh, she remembered. She remembered the blood and screaming. The sounds of explosions, of gunfire, screeching trains. She remembered it all. Often when she least wanted to.   
“I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy and you are willing to send the love of your life into that nightmare?! We left it for a damn reason!”

“Maybe we were wrong to.”

Shamira signed shaking her head. Switching her language to German. “You made me promise on the boat here that no matter what happened. No matter the circumstances. No matter what thoughts, ideas, or opinions you may have. You…you made me promise that I would never even let you consider going back there. And I’m invoking that now. We were barely functional when we had a team and support. We just happened to get lucky more times than we didn’t. But all it took was one incident. Going back there with nothing is suicidal.”

Astrid knew that Shamira was right. They did leave for a damn good reason. She switched back to English. “Which is why it’s important to send those who actually have support. We can’t go back. But we can send them to finish the fight we started. And maybe someday…” We could go back. Astrid left unsaid. But Shamira understood the unsaid words.

“Even if we could. It won’t be the same.”

“Nothing ever is.” She turned her attention back to Steve and kissed his hand. “If we’re going to get you to past the physical, we got to get you healthier.” She turned to Bucky. “You train him to stay alive. The last thing I want is him returned to me in a pine box.” 

“Yes doc,” Bucky replied. “Two weeks and I’ll get him into shape.”

“You better,” Shamira added on. “Otherwise you’ll have a very angry Astrid on your hands.”

Steve looked at Shamira. “I know you don’t think that I can do this.”

Shamira let out a laugh. “It’s not that. God knows you’re gonna find some way to brute force yourself into the army. It’s the fact that I don’t want you to go over there.” She gestured towards Bucky. “I don’t want Bucky to go either.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Remembering all that they had seen. All that they had escaped from. “There are no words in any human language that can describe the horrors that you will see if you go. I only want to spare you from that.” Shamira shrugged. “But I know where you’re coming from. Astrid and I felt the same way once. In some ways still do.” Astrid huffed. That was an understatement. “So if you want to fight I’m never going to approve of it. But I damn well am going to support you in doing it.” Steve gave her a smile. All tension easing from his body.

“I guess I should get to work then,” Steve stated kissing Astrid on her hand. “I’ll see you later my partner.”

“You better,” Astrid replied. Watching Bucky and Steve leave. “Now what?”

“Now we have to figure out how to keep those two alive,” Shamira sighed rubbing her forehead. “Why did they have to bomb Pearl Harbor?”

“Because our good luck could only last for so long.”

Everything was chaos in the next few days. Particularly at the hospital as doctors figured out whether or not they were going to serve. Astrid snorted. One good thing that might come out of this is Astrid was probably going to get promoted. Seemed like everyone was ready to go throw their lives at the cause.

She was washing up after surgery next to one of the younger surgeons. An up and comer by the name of Dwight. He was a good surgeon. Had the potential to be great someday. If he managed to survive the Navy.

“Astrid,” he stammered. He was always slightly nervous around her. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” she answered turning to face him. She had a habit of mentoring some of the younger surgeons. Though it also gave her a chance to figure out which ones belonged to her other profession. So far the only one she figured out was the chief of surgery.

“You know there is a war going on?”

Astrid snorted. “I hope that’s not your question.”

He blushed but shook it off. A determined look coming over his face. “No. There is a war going on. And a lot of men are going to lose their lives.”

“And? That’s kinda what happens during a war.”

“Exactly and don’t you want some companionship before all the men are shipped off?”

Astrid had no idea what he was going on about. “You do know I’m going steady right?”

“I don’t see a ring on your finger. I’m willing to put one on.” He stepped closer to Astrid but she stepped back. Eyes narrowed.

“Dwight you are a good man and a good doctor. Most girls would fall all over themselves to be with you. But I’m not one of them.” She shook her head. “As I said I’m going steady with someone. For your sake, I’m going to pretend that this didn’t happen. I suggest you do the same.”

He wasn’t the only one who had that crazy idea. She was propositioned by two other guys. It was a relief when she finally got home to find Shamira on the couch reading. Bucky sitting next to her. Steve looking immensely haggard sitting in the comfy chair. Drawing something as usual.

“You have no idea of the day I had,” Astrid sighed going to the kitchen to boil water for tea. “I had three guys try to propose to me.” That startled all of them. Especially Steve who looked at her eyes narrowed.

“Only three?” Shamira asked with a smile glancing at Steve. This might be a chance to rile him up and move him to actually do something. “I would expect more than that.” Steve shot her a look. She was nowhere near Astrid’s level but she had some tricks up her sleeve.

“You didn’t say yes did you?” Steve asked. It was obvious he was tense.

“Of course not,” Astrid replied. “They all know I’m going steady.” The whistle of the kettle went off and Astrid poured the tea. “Still I’m half tempted to go out and buy a ring to get these boys off my back. Two of them didn’t even believe me when they said I was going steady.”

“What did they say when you told them?” Bucky questioned also looking at Steve.

“That any man worth anything would have proposed after the first date.” Oh, that must hurt. She could see Steve flinch. “I told them otherwise.”

Steve stood up and Shamira could tell that each movement was painful. But that didn’t stop him from going up to Astrid and taking her hand. Shamira held her breath wondering if he was going to propose right then and there.

“You will wait for me right?” Steve asked his voice soft.

Astrid looked at him fondly. “I would wait for all of time for you. You are more than worth it.” She kissed him deeply. Making that point know.

While those two were distracted with each other Shamira turned to Bucky. “Make him propose already,” she told him. “Before Astrid is stuck in a hard place with a guy who won’t take no for an answer.”

“I’ve been trying,” Bucky whispered. “But he’s got some plan that he’s not letting me in on. I’m just trying to keep him from getting killed so that they can get married.”

Shamira sighed pinching the bridge of her nose. Steve was absolutely hopeless. If he was dating anyone other than Astrid the girl would have left him long ago. Instead, he was making out with Astrid in the kitchen. Breaking it off when he got too hot. Shamira noticed the frustration building in Astrid’s body. But her infinite patience kept her waiting. Waiting for Steve to be ready. Shamira suspected that something else was going on but what she had no idea. Bucky didn’t either. Steve always got super flustered whenever Bucky asked him.

“Get a room, Bucky teased. Astrid shot him a grateful look while Steve narrowed his eyes at him. There was definitely something going on with Steve. But that was a mystery than none of them were going to be able to solve without an interrogation.

Astrid squeezed his shoulder and Steve let out a hiss. She frowned and felt him up softly with her fingertips.

“You are really tense,” she noted giving a glance at Bucky. “Come with me.” Astrid took his hand and led him into her bedroom. Closing the door behind her.

“Take off your clothes,” Astrid ordered taking out a few vials out of her mobile kit. Mixing two together and swirling around slightly. Steve stood there looking a bit like a baby bird. “I’m giving you a massage. Will help relax you. Make it easier for you to train. I want you to at least down to your underwear.” That got Steve going though it seemed like he was having trouble getting his belt off. His hands trembling.

When Astrid finally turned around she let out a gasp. This was the first time she had seen Steve at this level of undressed. She couldn’t help herself. Running her hands down his body. She swallowed the lump in her throat and got out her towel. Lying it on the bed and beckoning Steve to lie on it. Stomach down first.

Astrid wished she had thought of this a long time ago. Not only for Steve’s sake but for her own. Though the little moans he was giving was driving her insane as she worked out the kinks in his back. Careful around his spine. His scoliosis had bent it into an S shape.

“You are magic,” he mumbled as Astrid worked out the tension. Easing pressure points.

“Let’s flip you over,” she suggested. He did so easily. Completely blissed out. She worked top to bottom. Massaging all his pressure points. Letting her hands wander slightly. By the time she was done Steve was fast asleep. Astrid tucked him in and left the room slowly closing the door behind her.

“You’ve been pushing him pretty hard,” Astrid stated once she got back to the living room.

“I have to if he wants to make the cut,” Bucky replied.

“I know.” She sat in the chair Steve was sitting in earlier. “It doesn’t make it any easier.” She hated seeing Steve hurting but it was a necessity. If he had any chance of being recruited. Astrid was half tempted to try and put in a good word for him but he had already asked her not to. He wanted to get there on his own merit. All she could do is wait. Helping him how she could until Christmas Eve when he went in for the physical. They would finally have their answer then.


	12. Underneath the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to come earlier but life got in the way. No triggers for this chapter. Super fluffy though. As always please review and let me know what you think.

"I have never seen you so worried about something in your entire life," Shamira snorted. "Seriously, I think I've seen you less worried about complicated surgeries or life-threatening situations."

"I just have no idea what I'm going to get him for Christmas," Astrid signed exasperated. "You know how much he hates having money spent on him."

Shamira rolled her eyes. "Which is why we are shopping on Christmas Eve. I hope that Bucky dealt with the same conversation." He did.

The two of them continued walking down the street. Window shopping. The Christmas season was upon them. Lights decorating the streets. Everyone in a festive mood. Holly, ivy and wreathes all over the place. Reminded Astrid that she had to decorate the apartment as well. Time had really gotten away from her. They were going to have Christmas morning at her and Shamira's place before moving over to Bucky's parents for Christmas dinner.

"What are you getting Bucky?"

"A pocket watch. He's been wanting it for a while. Not helpful for you I'm afraid." Steve always had his father's pocket watch with him. One of the few things he had of his father. That and his father's compass from the war. Those were the only two things he had from the man.

"Do you know what he's getting me?"

"Does it really matter? You're going to love whatever he gets you." Shamira wasn't wrong but none of it was helpful for her current predicament. She might be going slightly crazy. "Besides he's going to love whatever you get him anyway. The man is still amazed that you're going steady with him."

Maybe Shamira was right. But it was also their first Christmas together. Of hopefully many Christmas's together. Last thing she wanted to do was give Steve a bad gift and have him question her gift-giving skills and therefore their entire relationship. She may have been taking this more seriously than she should.

"Seriously, you could get him an empty shoebox and he would love it," Shamira continued. Falling on deaf ears as Astrid continued to window shop.

There were a lot of things she could get Steve. He didn't have a lot. Problem was he didn't like big expensive things. It made him feel like a charity case. That was what there first big fight was about after all. Yet Astrid still wanted to get him something nice. Make him feel special rather than pitied.

Until she stopped dead in front of a store. Shamira stopping in turn. Astrid let out a smile. Of course, she knew what to get him. She was being an idiot.

"Do you think this would work?"

Shamira glanced at her friend. Seeing her smile which used to be so rare now being so common. It was one of the reasons she loved Steve. He made Astrid genuinely happy. And that was a very rare thing to do.

She wrapped her arms around Astrid's back. Placing her chin on her shoulder. "He'll love it."

After heading inside and buying the gift they hurried home. Laughing as they did so. As soon as the door opened they immediately set out and started decorating. Setting up the fake Christmas tree, the tinsel, ornaments, lights. Lighting another candle on the advent wreath, setting up the Christmas angels. But still, have the Menorah be the centerpiece of decorating. Hanukah may have ended a few days ago but it still had an important part in the home.

Astrid and Shamira also got to work baking Christmas cookies as well as stollen. The smell of cinnamon wafting through the air. Soon the kitchen was piled high with black and whites, cinnamon stars, hazelnut and many more. The U.S government hadn't started rationing yet so they were able to get everything they needed. While Shamira worked on that Astrid set out wrapping the gifts and sticking them under the tree. Just in time too as Astrid heard the door unlock. Confused. She didn't expect Steve and Bucky until tomorrow.

The festive mood suddenly turned dour as she got a look at Steve. His shoulders slumped over. Head bowed and looking down at his feet.

"You got a 4F didn't you?" Astrid asked.

Steve scoffed. "Wow, you really can read minds." Astrid flinched. More out of surprise over anything. Steve never talked to her like that. His expression softened as he looked at her. "I'm sorry it's just-"

"I know Steve." She walked up to him and took his hand. Giving her a small smile in return. Despite knowing that Steve wasn't happy with the decision she couldn't help but be relieved. It meant that she wouldn't have to worry about her being killed. Or him potentially finding Steve. As astronomically low that possibility even was it still worried her.

"Maybe this is a good thing," Shamira brought up. Bucky made it to her side. "You and Astrid will be able to focus on each other."

Steve shook his head. "No. I am going to enlist. I just need a second opinion." Astrid had a feeling that the second opinion was going to be the same as the first opinion.

Astrid squeezed his hand. "Why don't you two stay the night here? Now that you are already here it would be pointless for you to leave only to have to come back the next morning."

"That's what we were thinking," Bucky replied pulling two gifts out of a bag and placing them under the Christmas tree. Joining Astrid's and Shamira's gifts for Steve and Bucky respectively. Shamira wasn't getting anything having received gifts during Hanukkah but was giving gifts out.

"We've made cookies," Shamira stated gesturing to the kitchen and living room. Every single empty space was covered in cookies.

"Clearly," Bucky stated grabbing one of the black and whites. He took a bite and his eyes went wide. Looking at the cookie in his hand. "This is amazing. You need to try this Steve."

Astrid floated a cookie over to him. He plucked it out of the air. Taking a bit. His expression soon mirroring Buckys.

"This is amazing," he stated. Astrid chuckled. The previous sad mood disappearing. They would worry about it later. Right now it was Christmas. A time to celebrate.

They spent the night enjoying each other's presence. Telling jokes and stories. Eating the many Christmas cookies. The recruitment center forgotten. At least until it was time for bed. Shamira and Bucky headed into her room while Astrid led Steve into hers. It would the first time he stayed the night at her place. All other times she stayed at his.

Astrid slowly undressed him. Savoring each part of exposed skin until he was down to his boxers. He did the same for Astrid. Helping her shed her pantyhose, garter and girdle. Leaving her in her bra and underwear. She crawled on top of the bed. Beckoning Steve to join her.

He slowly did so. Curling up underneath the covers. Astrid heart sunk for him. Curling up next to him. It was not a night for fun times.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear. Wrapping her arms around him.

"I love you too." He turned around to face her. Playing with a lock of her hair. "You will be okay, right? If I end up getting shipped out at some point?"

"I'll miss you like crazy and be worried every day. But I would be okay." She propped herself up on an elbow. "You are going to try again aren't you?"

"Until I get in." He turned so that he was lying on his back. "I can't sit here and do nothing."

"I felt the same way." She turned on her back as well. Staring at the ceiling. "I fought until I couldn't do it any longer. Until we were no longer able to."

"What happened?"

Astrid signed. Technically Astrid wasn't breaking her promise to Shamira. Sure it had to deal with their past but it was different. Maybe. Kind of. "Shamira and I were part of a group that fought against the injustices of the Nazi regime. Fighting for all those who couldn't. We were pretty successful until we weren't." Astrid took a deep breath. The memory still fresh in her mind. One moment they were doing their work and the next an explosion rocketed everything. Fire and the smell of charred bodies. Astrid barely managed to escape alive. Shamira only alive because she was back at base. "I lost too many friends that day. With our resources gone, my dad….my dad dead there was nothing we could do. Using the last of our connections we got ourselves to New York. The rest you know."

Steve hummed laying his head on her chest. "I'm glad you came here."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "I haven't regretted my choice. I would have never met the love of my life otherwise." Steve curled deeper into her. Astrid curling herself around him. Keeping him warm. Nights were getting really cold. She felt his breathing slow and he fell asleep in her arms. Astrid soon joining him. Listening softly to his heartbeat.

It was a slow wake up in the morning. Astrid and Steve not wanting to untangle themselves. Content to lie there in each other's arms. Lightly kissing each other's skin.

"Merry Christmas," Astrid whispered. "Here's to many more together."

"Merry Christmas my beloved." He kissed her deeply. Astrid pulling him in closer. Trying to get as much of him as she could.

"I love waking up next to you," Steve stated breaking off the kiss to breath.

"Wait till we're married. Then I'll really have ways of getting you up." She saw his eyes darken. A faint blush decorating his cheeks. His imagination going wild.

"Waiting till marriage then?"

Astrid shrugged. "Well, I can show you now if you're up for it." Steve's eyes went wide. His blush deepening. Astrid smiled as Steve gaped like a fish. "We'll work up to it." She hopped off the bed and held out a hand. He took it and she helped him up. Throwing on a robe and tossing Steve his undershirt.

They quickly slipped it on and padded to sit around the Christmas tree. Shamira and Bucky either still asleep or busy. The two of them cuddled together. Air still a little cold.

"Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday," Steve stated looking up at the tree. "She always loved all the glittering lights."

"My mother called it Jul," Astrid responded earning herself a look and a quick smile from Steve. Astrid shrugged. "My parents were both really into Nordic mythology."

"Must have made for an interesting Christmas."

"Oh, you have no idea." Steve chuckled and rested a hand on her cheek. Still up and brushing his lips softly over hers. It was Astrid who pushed forward to capture his lips and soon their hand were roaming all over each other.

"You guys have enough time with each other or do you need us to wait?" Shamira teased earning herself a glare from both Astrid and Steve. Bucky chuckling in the back.

"Just taking our time waiting for you two," Astrid chirped. Steve shook his head as Shamira and Bucky sat down next to them.

"So, what are we waiting for? There are gifts to open." Bucky gestured to the presents underneath the tree. Astrid started floating them to the right people. And together they started opening.

Bucky got the pocket watch Shamira gave him, a set of cuff links from Astrid, he had a weakness for them and a new shaving kit from Steve.

"You've been complaining about your old one," Steve stated as Bucky enveloped him in a hug. Shamira and Astrid wrapping their arms around each other.

Astrid got a new set of scalpels from Shamira. Twirling them in her hands. They had a really good grip.

"How did you even get these?" she asked Shamira.

"I have my ways." She winked at Astrid. "But at least you can replace your old set in your travel kit. You've been needing a replacement."

"Speaking of a replacement you better open mine," Bucky added on. Astrid did so and revealed a new travel kit bag. Whistling as she unfurled it. It was exactly what she needed. Her old one starting to fray.

"Oh, I definitely needed this." She got her last present from Steve. Opening up a small thin box. Unwrapping the gift she picked up a golden heart-shaped locket. The chain long enough to dangle over her heart.

"It was the last thing my mother gave me before she passed away." Astrid's hearts clenched. "She told me to give it to the love of my life. So that she could keep the ones most precious to her close to her heart." She opened it with a click and felt her breath stutter. Inside was a small hand-drawn picture of Shamira. Her happy go lucky smile. Captured in perfect detail. On the other side of the locket was a picture of Steve. Looking somewhat bashful.

"You always say that you'll miss me," Steve continued. "Now you can carry a piece of me everywhere you go." Astrid had a feeling that Steve thought about this when he thought he was going to get recruited. But the meaning was still the same. Especially since he included Shamira as one of the most precious people in her life.

Astrid placed the locket around her around. Resting perfectly over her heart. She wrapped her arms around Steve and buried his face in his shoulder. Unable to say anything. Steve rubbing circles on her back. They all gave her a moment to compose herself. Even after all this time she still had emotional breakdowns. Once she pulled herself together she looked up at Steve. A little teary-eyed and floated his gifts to him.

He got an illustrated copy of The Hobbit from Bucky and a set of baseball tickets from Shamira. Astrid held her breath as Steve opened up the one from her. Hoping that he would like it. He almost dropped it as he unwrapped it. A leather-bound sketchbook and some beautiful artist pencils. He ran his hand over the cover. As if he couldn't believe what he was feeling. Steve cracked open the book. Covering his mouth when he saw what Astrid wrote on the first page.

_To my beloved partner. May you always carry this with you. To remind you to never let that spark of creativity die and to show the world how beautiful life is through your eyes. I hope it brings you light in the darkest times._

_Your devoted Astrid._

Steve clutched it to his chest and looked at her. "I'll treasure it always." He put it down and pulled Astrid into another hug. This time nestling into her shoulder.

"You two are adorable," Shamira remarked snuggling into Bucky's side. Steve and Astrid looked at each other smiling. When a look crossed Steve's face. As if something dawned on him. He took Astrid's hand and kissed it softly. Running his fingers over it. Astrid wasn't entirely sure what he was thinking but the look on Steve's face told her she was going to be happy with what he had planned.


	13. Crossing the Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love this chapter. It encapsulates the two of them so well. No triggers for this chapter. Just fluffy goodness. As always please review and let me know what you think.

Astrid wasn't entirely sure what was going on with Steve. Ever since Christmas, he had been acting strangely. Well technically more like since the New Year. He had started saving money like crazy. Taking extra shifts at the pharmacy. Actually, selling his art on the side which surprised Astrid the most. He had also taken to hanging out with Shamira. Just the two of them. With that, and Astrid pulling extra hours at the hospital due to men enlisting, it really cut down on the time Astrid and him spent together. When it got too much she would grasp the locket around her neck and remind herself that he was always with her.

It seemed like he was planning something but she had no idea what. She could easily find out. Both Bucky and Shamira seemed to know what was going on but they kept it tight-lipped. It would be easy to force either of them to tell her. But judging by the way Shamira was keeping it hush and Bucky not allowed anywhere near her without either Shamira or Steve, she wasn't going to pry. Too hard.

"You're not even going to give me a little hint?" Astrid asked Shamira. The two of them were curled up in their apartment. Waiting for the boys to come pick them up for a double date. A date which surprised Astrid as she only learned about once she got home from her shift and Shamira threw a dress at her. Telling her to put it on. What was odd was that Astrid had never seen it before in her entire life. Brand new. It was her favorite color as well. The same shade of blue as Steve's eyes. When she asked Shamira where she got it she only replied that Steve picked it up for her. Astrid shrugged and put it on. Fit like a glove.

"If I told you not only would Steve find a way to kill me but you would as well," she replied flicking through the pages of the book she was reading.

"That big of a deal then. Must be something serious."

Shamira put her book down and glared at her. "I really can't tell you anything can I?"

"No, you really can't."

As Shamira was about to counter there was a knock at the door. Seemed like they were here. Shamira put her book down and got up. Astrid opening the door with her mind. Both Bucky and Steve walked in. Dressed in really nice three-piece suits. Her and Shamira were in evening dresses. Astrid was pretty sure this was the first time they had dressed up nicely to go anywhere.

Shamira went straight to Bucky and he twirled her around in his arms before engaging in conspiratorial whispers. Astrid rolled her eyes at them while she looked at Steve who seemed starstruck.

"I can't believe I found someone like you," he stated rubbing the back of his head. Astrid gave him a smile and took Steve's arm. He seemed exceedingly nervous. Glancing up at her constantly.

"You alright?" she asked placing a hand on his forehead. His temperature seemed fine. "We don't have to go if you are not feeling well."

Steve had an expression on his face as if she suggested that she set the apartment on fire. "What? No. I want to go," he sputtered turning a bright crimson. "Unless you don't want to go with me." She swore she heard Shamira and Bucky groan in the background.

"Of course, I want to go with you. Nothing could pull me away from you." His entire demeanor seemed to change.

"Even though I can't seem to get myself recruited." Steve was going to try attempt number three soon.

She cupped his face. "I would stay with you regardless if you enlist or not. You're the man I'm in love with. There will be no other in my life." That boosted his confidence. Perking up. Astrid ran her hand through his hair. "It's only that I know you're been pushing yourself hard. You've been looking pretty worn out."

"I'll be fine." He flashed her a smile. "I got my best girl on my arm. She won't let anything happen to me."

Even now Steve could still cause her to blush. She gave him a small smile and glanced at their two companions. Instead of paying attention to each other it seemed like they were more fixed on her and Steve. What was going on?

"You two doing okay?" Astrid again them.

"Fine," Shamira stated as Bucky stated at the same time. Seemed like everyone was acting weird today.

Astrid didn't get a chance to ask what exactly was going on as Steve all but dragged her out of the apartment. Leading her to the restaurant. Which turned out to be one of the nicest and most expensive places in Brooklyn. She's always heard that the food was phenomenal. What was odd though was that the waiter seemed to be paying special attention to them. Particularly her. Making sure that she was never in want of anything. He kept glancing between her and Steve. A disbelieving look on his face. Astrid shrugged it off. It wasn't anything she wasn't used to. What took her by surprise however was when Steve whispered something in the waiter's ear and left without giving them the menus.

"I've ordered for us," Steve answered when Astrid gave him a look. Odd but whatever. As odd as Bucky's and Shamira's behavior. They seemed to be reassuring Steve the entire time. As if he was about to bolt and run out of the restaurant. It got odder when the waiter brought the drinks. When Astrid took a sip out of her glass her eyes opened wide. Staring at the glass. Turning it in her hands. It was like she flashed back to Germany. Back home. Drinking with her old friends in Germany before heading out on another mission.

"Is this Riesling?" she asked. Shamira and Bucky glanced at each other before turning to Steve. "And I do mean actual Riesling." She took another sip. Almost bringing tears to her eyes. "How did you even get this? I didn't think we were even importing this."

"Only the best for you my love," Steve replied. Astrid looked at the glass again. Now really wondering what was going on. It was not like Steve to splurge like this. At all.

Which was why Astrid was surprised when a stew was placed in front of all four of them. The smell of it warm and comforting. A childhood memory appeared in her mind. Cold winter nights curled up by the fire. Embraced by her parents. Practicing her powers. It was when Astrid tasted it that she almost dropped the spoon.

"Hasenpfeffer?" Astrid asked still not believing it. It was her favorite dish in the world. It killed her that she hadn't had it since she left Germany. She glanced at Shamira who shrugged. Hiding her smile behind her hand. She must have told him. "How did you? Is this even on the menu?"

"I have my ways," Steve replied. Now Astrid was worried that she missed some sort of special occasion. It wasn't their anniversary. That was next month. She started racking her brain wondering what she could possibly have missed.

Shamira grasped her hand. Tapping the side of her head. '_Relax okay. Trust me. You are going to enjoy this._' Shamira was right. Astrid relaxed. Enjoying the food. Savoring the taste. The others were enjoying themselves as well. Falling into the usual banter between the four of them.

"You've really outdone yourself tonight Steve," Astrid stated once the main dish was cleared away. "I'm not sure how this night can get better." She couldn't believe how much work he had put into this. Whatever the occasion was it certainly was special. Astrid wouldn't want to this all the time but it was a wonderful surprise.

That was apparently the answer he was looking for. "I hope that it gets better for you." That was when the cake was placed in front of her. Astrid didn't even have to taste it to know what it was. She stated something in German that caused even Shamira to blush.

"Why don't you say how you really feel?" Shamira asked. Astrid didn't response. Too busy staring at the cake.

"What did she say?" Bucky asked. Shamira leaned over and whispered it into his ear. Soon Bucky was tinged red as well. "You are a lucky man Steve." He patted his friend on the shoulder.

Steve glanced between the two of them and then at Astrid. "Are you okay?"

"She's fine," Shamira replied. "She's just trying to comprehend the fact that she has a slice of Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte in front of her. I think she once stabbed someone for a slice once."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Bucky asked. They all looked at Astrid who was poking it with a fork. As if she couldn't believe it was here. Once she finally gotten around to eating it she took her time. Letting it melt in her mouth. Giving Steve bedroom eyes. If only he was comfortable with sex. The things that she would do to him.

"Okay, I need to know," Astrid stated after the plates were cleared away. "How on earth did you do this?"

"I've had some help." He gestured to someone behind Astrid. She turned around and felt her heart drop. Standing up.

"Ilse?" Astrid asked her voice trembling. "Is it really you?"

The older woman smiled. Her brown hair streaked with gray and had a few more wrinkled than when Astrid last saw her. But it was clearly her.

"It's been a long time Astrid," she could hear her voice crack. "You've turned into a beautiful woman."

"I thought you were dead. I mean. When I was last there-"

Ilse pulled her into a hug. "A few of us made it out. I don't know how many others but a few."

Astrid couldn't help herself. Lightly chuckling as she pulled out of the hug "What are you doing here?"

"Well, this is my restaurant."

"You serious?"

Ilsa nodded and Astrid let out a laugh. Turning to look at Shamira.

"Don't look at me," Shamira commented. "Steve was the one who found this place. It just happened to belong to Ilsa."

Astrid shook her head. Unable to stop smiling. It's hard to believe that one of their old neighbors also happened to be in Brooklyn.

"Anyway, we will have to catch up later," Ilsa stated pulling Astrid into another hug. "I got a restaurant to run and you have a busy night ahead."

Astrid wasn't sure what he meant by that. Sitting back down when Ilsa left the bill. Before she could look at it Steve took it. Paying for everything. Which was really strange as they normally split it between all of them. Seemed like all that saved up money was going to good use.

Once everything was paid they got up and walked out. Once they got outside Astrid felt hot. Despite the cold air. "Give us a minute," Astrid stated pulling Steve into the alleyway next door. Shamira and Bucky glanced at each other and shrugged. Content to wait until Astrid was finished with Steve.

"Astrid, what the?" Steve asked before Astrid enveloped him in a kiss.

'_Sorry, but I couldn't wait until I got home to get my hands on you._' She knew she was being a little domineering but Steve was lapping it up. Groaning as she attacked his neck. Letting out a gasp as Astrid moved his hands down. So that he was clutching her ass through the dress. First time he traveled that low. Astrid, however, did not intend for her first time with Steve to be in some back alley. Lifting her head up to look at him. Both of them panting hard.

"Later we'll finish later," Astrid stated pulling him back out of the alley. To Bucky and Shamira who were chuckling at them. Fond smiles on their faces. Astrid turned to Steve as if he couldn't entirely believe what was happening. "Do you have any other plans for the evening?"

"How about a walk?" Steve asked still panting slightly. "Give us a chance to cool off."

Astrid nodded. Probably a good idea. Would mean that the tension would build up. They went on a quiet stroll through the city. Enjoying each other's company. Steve holding her hand. Arms swinging between them. Their journey took them towards the Brooklyn bridge. One of Astrid's favorite places in the city. She always liked bridges. For her, it always meant crossing over from one part of life to the next. A milestone. Bucky and Shamira focused even more intensely on her and Steve. Steve was also growing increasingly nervous as they started to walk across the bridge. His palms were sweating.

"Are you sure you are okay?" she asked stopping. Steve was getting increasingly frazzled the further they walked along the bridge.

"W- I'm I'm…" his voice was trembling and he was pulling at the collar of his shirt. He glanced at Shamira and Bucky who were nodding vigorously.

"Just do it already," Bucky called out. "Before you pass out."

Shamira hit him in the shoulder. "Don't ruin the moment."

Astrid still had no idea what was going on but as Steve to her hands, she realized that it didn't matter.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Before I met you. I honestly thought I would never find the right partner. I mean what woman would want a guy she could step on." As Astrid was about to say something Steve interrupted her. "Please let me finish." She closed her mouth. This had to be really important "Then I met you. You… there are not enough words in any language to describe how wondrous you are. But I figured I might as well try it in your own." Astrid took a deep breath as he started speaking in German. His words shaky and his pronunciation not quite correct. But the meaning was there. "You are the strongest person I have ever met. Your strength is only dwarfed by your love for others. And your willingness to always do the right thing." He got down on one knee and Astrid brought a hand to her face. Tears pricking her eyes. This was actually happening. She never thought this would actually happen. Never mind with someone who actually knew about her past. Who chose to be with her despite who and what she was. "Astrid Schmidt, would you do me the greatest honor in the world and be my partner for the rest of our lives?" He opened the box to reveal a beautiful but simple diamond ring. Her brain going haywire. Firing in all directions. But as she looked at Steve. At the expecting face waiting for her answer, the words came to her.

"Steve," she stated looking down at him. His beautiful eyes. His smile. An imagine of them together flashed in her brain. The wedding. Finding their own place. Kids. Christmases. Birthdays. Them together for all of it. "I would love nothing more than to become Dr. Astrid Rogers." The smile on his face and joy in his eyes beat out all the stars in the night sky. As he stood up and slipped the ring on her finger Astrid leaned down and kissed him. Unable to contain all her emotions. Grateful that the universe had given her such a wonderful partner.

"It's about time," Bucky heckled. "I thought you were never going to ask her."

"I know right," Shamira added on. "I think the world would end first."

"I'm going to shove the two of you off this bridge," Astrid replied breaking off her kiss with Steve.

"Oh no, you're not. Who's going to help plan your wedding if you do that?"

"I'm sure I'll find someone." Shamira mimed getting stabbed in the chest while the others laughed starting the journey back home. Shamira and Bucky walking a little further ahead. Heading to Bucky's place. Leaving Steve and Astrid to enjoy each other. Heading to Steve's.

He kept running his fingers over the ring. As if he couldn't believe that it was there. Neither could Astrid. She kept looking at the ring on her finger. Loving the weight of it. How it belonged there. Steve beaming the entire time as well.

Astrid unlocked the door to Steve's apartment. Him following her inside. Shutting the door closed with her mind. Allowing her to fully connect with Steve. Feel what he was feeling. Love and confidence. Astrid wrapped him up in her arms. Kissing him deeply.

'_I can't believe that you actually asked me,' _Astrid thought as they walked to Steve's bed.

'_I can't actually believe you actually said yes,_' Steve replied as Astrid peeled off his suit jacket. '_Considering how many other proposals you have gotten._'

'_Yours was the only one I wanted to say yes to._' She undid the vest. The tie soon following. '_I would marry you this very second if I could. Though that would definitely anger a few people.'_

'_I'm not sure Anna would ever forgive us."_ Both of them let out a laugh she undid Steve's shirt. Steve unzipping Astrid's dress. '_Still, I don't want to wait too long. I'm thinking March 25.'_ Roughly one month from now.

'_You want to get married on our one year anniversary?_" She undid the garter and the stockings. Judging by Steve's bashful look she hit her mark. She laid him down the bed. Astrid leaning over him. Kissing him softly.

'_That works perfectly for me._' Steve snaked his arm to the back of her head. Pushing her closer towards him. Tonight, was a night for intimacy. To enjoy each other. Never had Astrid thought that a relationship could be like this. So filled with love. If this was what the relationship was like when they were engaged, she couldn't wait till be married.


	14. Stories of Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No triggers for this chapter. Just Astrid and Steve being Astrid and Steve with a tiny little bit of angst mixed in. A warm-up for what is to come. As always please review and let me know what you think.

Astrid couldn't stop staring at the ring on her finger. As if she still couldn't believe it was there. Though only a week had passed since Steve put it on. She hoped she never got tired of seeing it there. The weight of it on her hand. Her fingers dancing along the steering wheel as she drove. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going. Steve was giving her directions from the passenger seat. Holding a bouquet of yellow flowers.

He had surprised last night saying that he had something planned for the next day. That the two of them would need to get up early. It was one of the few days off that she had. Particularly now with the war brewing. After staying the night the two of them borrowed the Barnes's car and headed out. Leaving the city and heading out into the country.

"You really won't tell me where we are going?" Astrid asked. Felt like they were driving in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but farmland. Maybe they didn't have to travel far at all to get out of the city. Maybe this was close enough to New York for Steve to be happy.

"You'll see," Steve answered. He started out happy but the closer and closer they got to their destination the more solemn he became. Astrid had a feeling that this was a really big deal. "You're going to want to turn right up here." He hadn't even looked at a map. Wherever they were going he knew the route by heart. He placed a hand on her thigh and started gently moving it back and forth. As a means of comfort. Of stability. Making sure that she was actually there. Though if Astrid was honest with herself she wished he would move his hand further up.

"You sure you're doing okay?"

He shot her a small smile. "You know that's about the 25th time you've asked me that this trip."

"I just… want to know what's going on with you."

"We are meeting two people extremely important to me." Well, that didn't help. Now Astrid was nervous. Really nervous but also curious. Who could Steve be talking about? As far as she knew she had met everyone close to Steve. Which consisted of Bucky and… Bucky's parents, but mainly just Bucky.

"You can pull up here." He pointed toward an old stone church. A parking lot upfront. There didn't seem to be anyone else parked. Wherever they were they were alone.

After Astrid parked the car Steve got out. Walking up to the church, before stopping. Gazing up it. Astrid stayed for a moment watching him before getting out herself. Allowing him to have a moment before taking his hand.

"Shall we?" Astrid asked gesturing towards the church.

Steve shook his head. "Were actually going around the back." He led her slowly. Giving Astrid time to take in the church and its grounds. It wasn't the most well kept up place. The plant life starting to reclaim the land. Twisting vines climbing up the stonework. But it just added to its beauty. Astrid got a sense that the church was still in use. Beloved by the community.

She was still admiring the stonework as they turned the corner. Steve came to a stop drawing her attention to what he was looking at. Astrid took a deep breath. She knew who they had come to see.

Walking through a wrought iron gate the two of them continued. Steve knowing exactly where he was going. Leading her straight down the middle until making a turn to the right. Finally coming to a stop. He shot Astrid a small smile before settling down on the grass. Astrid soon joining him. Nestled in close.

"Hi mom, dad," Steve stated. "There is someone I would like you to meet." Astrid stared at the two graves in front of them. Clear worn down by the elements but well-tended too. She could clearly make out the names. The graves of Sarah and Joseph Rogers. They weren't elaborate tombstones. Neither the most expensive or intricate but there was still so much meaning, so much love carved into them.

"This is my fiancé Astrid," Steve continued taking her hand and squeezing it. "I'm sorry for not bringing her here sooner but I want you to meet her before getting married. Married. Can you believe it? And to the most amazing woman in the world." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She could only imagine how Steve was feeling. He turned to look at her. Eyes watery. "My mom used to take us here to talk to dad. She always felt that she could feel his presence here. That he was able to hear us." He wiped the tears away from his eyes. "After she died I wasn't able to come as much as I could but the feeling is still the same." He looked down at the ground. Threading his fingers through the grass. "I know it's crazy but-"

Astrid took his hand and placed it in her lap. Looking squarely at the gravestones.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Rogers. I'm sorry that I haven't introduced myself sooner. That's pretty rude of me."

Steve let out a small chuckle. "I think my mom would beat you over the head if you called her Mrs. Rogers."

"Alright, Sarah then." She turned to Joseph Rogers. "I hope you don't hold my accent against me. Steve told me you fought bravely in the Great War. I'm sorry you never got a chance to see what a marvelous man your son has grown up to be." Steve chocked up at that. "He really is going to be the perfect husband. I'm honestly not even sure how I'm going to be able to wait. I have a feeling he got a lot of it from you." She turned her focus toward Sarah. "I'm not sure if Steve ever told you but I work as a doctor. Surgeon actually. I really wish I could have met you. I bet there was so much you could have taught me. Plus, I could have used your help with the wedding. I can already tell you have a wonderful taste in flowers."

Steve looked up at her and she caught the glance. The amount of love expressed in his features was enough to knock the wind out of her.

"I love you," he said simply looking at her before turning to his parents. Running his thumb over her hand. "See what I mean? Aren't I the luckiest man in the world? I don't even know where to begin." The two of them sat there for hours. Talking to the gravestones and each other. Eventually, it turned dark. The cool air becoming cold as night set in.

"It was lovely to meet the two of you," Astrid said standing up. "We will definitely come to visit again soon." She glanced at Steve. "I'll make sure of it."

Steve placed the flowers by the grave and the two of them walked back towards the car. He snuggled into her side. Her arm wrapped around him for warmth.

The two of them got in the car and let out a sigh. Turning to look at one another.

"You really think they would have liked me?" Astrid asked.

Steve took her hand and kissed it softly. "My mom would have loved you. And from what she has told me about my father he would have loved you too."

Astrid gave him a half-smile. "Maybe someday, if things change I'll be able to take you to see my mother."

Steve arched an eyebrow though she also saw a flash of worry in his eyes. "Not your father?"

Astrid took her hand back. Placing both of them on the steering wheel and leaning down so that her head was resting on it as well.

"My dad doesn't have a grave. It's complicated… there wasn't much time."

"You had to come to the States before you could give him a burial," Steve stated softly. Well, that wasn't the truth but Astrid wasn't about to explain exactly what happened. She had promised Shamira after all.

"My mother was buried by a tree near the edge of our property." She shook her head and laughed. "My father nicknamed the tree Yggdrasil. We've called it that since I was born. He always said that when the time was right, I would know why it was called that." She softly chuckled. "I still have no idea what he meant by that."

He started rubbing her back. "I'm sure you'll figure it out someday."

"Funny enough I'm not sure I want to." She turned to the side to look at Steve. He managed to have both an amused and solemn expression on his face. Fitting the day that they have had. "I don't know about you but I'm starving."

"There's a diner a little bit further up the road. We always stopped there every time we visited dad. Has the best pie this side of town."

Astrid sat up and turned the car on. Once again following Steve directions towards the diner. It wasn't far away at all. Soon the two of them found themselves nestled in a booth. Tucked into the corner. Milkshakes and pie placed in front of them. Steve tracing the ring on her finger as they ate.

"This place brings back such memories," Steve said looking around. Twirling a fork in his other hand. "Before she got really sick we used to come up here a lot. She would tell all these stories about him. What he was like. Read the letters he sent while he was fighting in the trenches." He squeezed her hand tightly. "He had a real way with words." Like father like son. Steve was probably a lot like his father. Maybe at some point, they could read those letters together.

Astrid placed one hand over his. Food being forgotten. "She never moved on did she?"

"He was the love of her life." He looked up at her. Sending Astrid's heart pounding. Even now he could send the butterflies twittering in her stomach. "I always wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship like that. To be so deeply in love. To be loved. I don't have to wonder anymore." He chuckled. " And because of you I even know how you truly feel. About me. A gift I could never even dream of having." Astrid was sure that if it was biologically possible her heart would melt onto the floor. "You're the only one for me, Astrid. Even if something happens to you." He paused and took a deep breath. "If something happens… there won't be another. Us Rogers. We only ever have one great love in our lives."

How? How could this man possibly exist? It was like he was perfectly crafted for her. Like God himself made him for her. It made her heart sing.

She took one of his hands and brought it up so that it was cradling her face. "My heart will always belong to you, Steve. And nothing is going to happen to me." She shook her head. Giving Steve a smile. "There isn't much more the world can do to me. Even if something happens …" She gave him a fiery look. "I promise to return to your side. And there is nothing the universe can throw at me that would make me break that promise."

He blushed ducking his head slightly. "You think you would save some of that for the vows."

"Oh, I have plenty for the vows. I could go on about you forever. I could start right now if you like."  
His blush grew even deeper. Showcasing a bashful smile. "I hope you never stop doing that."

"What? Blushing like a schoolboy with his first crush?"

Astrid dropped his hand and leaned forward. "Exactly." She glanced around and saw that no one was paying attention to them. Waiters busy with other tables. The other diners paying attention either to their food or other things. She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. Before pulling back with a smile. Taking a sip of her milkshake. Steve went back to his food as well. The blush fading away slightly. The two of them weren't that big on public displays of affection. Preferring to keep it private. But every so often one of them couldn't help themselves. Well, that wasn't entirely true. It was mostly Astrid would couldn't help herself. She wanted to showcase to the entire world how much she loved this man.

Though her smile turned into a frown. Steve seemed slightly paler than normal and tired. Really tired. With slight shortness of breath.

"Steve?" Astrid asked. "Did you take your medicine today?"

The look that he gave her told her everything. She let out a sigh and grabbed his arm. Sending out a signal so that no one would look in their direction she pulled out a syringe out of her to-go bag. Injecting it directly into Steve. He winched as she did so. At least having the courtesy to look apologetic. She rolled her eyes, placing the needle in the disposal part of her bag and grabbing three bottles of pills. Grabbing one from each bottle she placed it in front of Steve. Who swallowed them without complaint.

"Seriously Steve?" she tsked. "What were you thinking?"

"That I just wanted one day, one simple day, where I don't have to take drugs to go outside." He seemed so small at the moment. "Is that too much to ask?"

"Steve you got a list of medical conditions that probably would have killed you if you weren't so unbelievably stubborn." He huffed at that. "But if you are against drugs then we can have you go back to eating raw liver."

He gave her a withering glare. Color returning back to him. "I would rather be hit by a car and break all the bones in my body than eat raw liver again." Astrid raised her eyebrows. Steve was getting more creative. He closed his eyes. "I just wanted one day."

She felt her heart twist into knots. She wished there was more than she could do. "Maybe I could look into combining some of the meds together. Make it so you have to take less. Or maybe less frequently."

"Astrid, you've already done so much for me. But I've been sick my entire life. I just want one day. One day where I'm not." He huffed. "I know that I'm unwell but there is no way I'm going to let it stop me from doing what I want to do."

It was then and there that Astrid promised herself that she would make sure that Steve would have that one day. No more than just one day. It might take years but she would find a way for Steve to be healthy. She would devote her life to it. Because he was absolutely undeniably worth it.


	15. Worth A Thousand Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triggers for fingering, light dirty talk and Astrid and Steve actually having a conversation about sex. As always please review and let me know what you think.

Astrid unlocked the door to Steve's apartment. Closing it swiftly behind her. She had gotten off early from work and wanted to surprise him. He was still out which gave Astrid time to look around. She had never really seen the place. Being preoccupied with Steve. Sadly, there wasn't much. Few pieces of used furniture. A couple of pictures of him and Bucky. Some of his parents. One or two of her. His sketchbook resting on a coffee table.

Astrid hovered over it. It was the old one he had before the one she got him for Christmas. Apparently, he already was keeping the new one on him. Her hand hovered over the cover. She really shouldn't. Steve was super secretive about his art. But this temptation was too much. She would only a quick look through. No real harm. Astrid opened the first page. Flicking through. A lot of drawings of the city. The skyline, the people. General life. He really needed to get his work out there. Steve was beyond talented.

It was about halfway through the book when her heart stopped. She recognized herself instantaneously. The day that her and Steve first met he recreated perfectly. Dressed in her surgical scrubs. She smiled as she saw more and more of herself show up. Glowing under candlelight during their second date. Her smile across a dinner table when they met Bucky's family. Her in a pin-up pose. She stopped at that one. Seemed like Steve actually had a vivid imagination. It was pretty suggestive overall. Her breasts almost spilling out of the dress.

Soon more suggestive images popped up among the drawings. Her reading in the car, mixed with her naked back, looking over her shoulder. Her looking up at the sky watching the fireworks next to an image of her naked. One arm covering her breasts. Her other traveling down her abdomen. The lower part of her body obstructed but Astrid had a pretty good idea of what she was doing. A come hither look on her face.

The trend continued. Astrid growing wetter at each image. Only fueled by her own ideas. What Steve might be doing as he was drawing. Or afterward looking at the finished product. She felt her hand almost instinctively travel up her dress. It wouldn't take her long. Not looking at these images.

What pushed her over the edge though was one of the ones near the end of the sketchbook. It was her in a bathtub. Filled with bubble bath. Her hand gripping the edge of the bathtub. Back arching out so that you could just make out the top of her breasts. The expression on her face so detailed she knew exactly what she was saying. He had seen her in that position. Sending an absolutely thrill down her spine.

"Oh seems like my Stevie is a naughty boy," Astrid stated to herself. "Wonder what I'm going to do about that?" That was when she heard the sound of something hitting the floor. She whirled around to find Steve as white as a ghost. Keys on the floor. She immediately shut the sketchbook while he struggled for his keys and closed the door.

"Steve I-" Astrid started to say but was cut off immediately by Steve.

"Please forgive me," he begged. "I'll try to fight down the urges. I'll do better." He started to ramble and Astrid had no idea what was going on.

"Steve," she interrupted. "What are you apologizing for? I'm the one who looked through your sketchbook without your permission." She really did feel bad. It was an invasion of his privacy.

"The drawings I did of you." He had turned an interesting shade of red.

"Why should you be sorry? They are amazing. Some a little more creative than others." She let out a smile. At least she knew that Steve did think of her in that way. Some nights she wondered.

"But I didn't want you to know."

Astrid scoffed. "Know what? That you want to bed me? Steve, I'm your fiancé. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it."

Steve looked taken aback. Returning to his normal color. "You don't mind that I…" he gestured towards the sketchbook.

"Why would I mind?"

"Because of your kidnapper." Astrid felt a chill go through her body for a moment before looking at Steve. Waiting for him to continue. "I didn't want you to think that I was only with you for that. I didn't want to push you. Make it seem like an expectation."

Her expression grew soft. "You kept it down because you didn't want me thinking that you thought of me as a sex object?" She let out a sigh. "Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to be with you that way?"

The expression on his face made it seem like he never thought that was even a possibility. "You never said anything." She felt something go through her heart. Like a shockwave that slowly went through the rest of her body. "I wasn't going to do anything until you stated clearly that you wanted to. I was never going to assume."

Astrid took a few steps closer to him. "So you waited. Fighting down your desires. Waiting patiently for my consent? For me to say that I wanted you." She felt tears start to spring to her eyes. "What would you have done if I had never said anything?"

Steve looked at her. A smile on his face. "I would have been content with just being in your presence for the rest of our lives. Growing old together."

Something in Astrid snapped. The next thing she knew she had Steve pinned to a wall. His jacket on the floor. One hand on his ass while another was on the wall supporting herself. Steve's legs instinctively wrapped around her waist. His back pressed against the wall. He looked as surprised as she was. But she could also tell that he was massively into it. Pupils blown out and Astrid was damned sure hers were as well.

"Steve let me make this point very clear," she stated slightly panting. "I want you. I want you badly. I've basically wanted you since my birthday. Maybe even before that." She leaned forward so that she was whispering into his ear. "I want to feel you inside of me. Feel you pound into me. Thrusting hard." She heard him gulp. Growing fully hard at her words alone. "I want to be so filled with your seed that it drips down my legs." He was breathing harder now. She could feel his hands clench at her back. "I want you to come to me anytime you feel like. This is a two-way street, my love. Both of us should be satisfied."

"Astrid please," he begged.

She cocked her head at him. "What do you want?"

"I want to feel you clench around me as I bring you pleasure. Unable to say anything as I keep bringing you there again and again. Genuinely begging me to never stop because of how good I make you feel."

If she didn't want Steve before she certainly wanted him now. He was focused on her pleasure and hers alone. It was like his was an afterthought. Something that she would have to work on with him.

"Damn Steve," she hissed. "You certainly know how to get a lady all hot and bothered." Her heart was beating a million times a minute. Breathing hard and they hadn't even done anything yet. Steve was as well. Astrid relishing the fact that she was able to drive him to the edge with words alone. Though she noticed something slightly off with his breathing. Astrid mood quickly dying as she brought him down to the ground.

"Breath with me Steve." She placed a hand on his chest. "It's okay Steve. Breath with me." Falling into the usual routine. Calming Steve down. Allowing him to breathe. After several minutes his breathing eased. Going back to normal.

"How," Steve growled. His frustration evident. "How am I supposed to join the army if I can't even sleep with my fiancé?"

"Maybe we should go slow," Astrid suggested helping him up. "Build up your endurance. Maybe wait until our wedding night to consummate."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "How is waiting supposed to build up endurance?"

"I never said that we couldn't do other stuff in bed. Work up to it."

He tugged on his collar, "What do you have in mind?"

"Start off easy. Maybe keep clothes on for now." She reached down and gripped his package. Hard and heavy in her hand. He let out a low groan. "Let's see how long you can last with me rubbing you off."

He let out a strangled yelp as Astrid got to work. Having to support his body as his legs started to give out from under him. Despite him barely holding it together he managed to snake his hand underneath her dress. Astrid more than thankful she decided to only wear underwear today. Letting out a moan as Steve found what he was looking for. She closed her eyes. Loving the sweet pressure. The building tension. She never even dreamed that it could feel this good to be pleasured.

"You sure that this is your first time?" she gasped. Her movements against him getting more frantic. She was loving every little flick of his fingers. Moving in precise patterns.

"I got some pointers from Bucky."

"Remind me to thank him."

"Tell Shamira to." She felt his movements speed up. She was getting so close. Her whole body shaking. Steve was so close as well. Barely holding it together. Until he pulled her hand off of him.

"Steve," she whimpered her hand clutching at thin air. "What are you doing?"

"I don't until you do." He increased the pressure on her. Astrid let out a gasp. "Twice. I'm going to show you how I'm going to treat you for the rest of our lives." If sex was going to be anything like this then Astrid couldn't wait. "Now let me figure out how to really pleasure you." He tapped the side of his head. "Let's see if I can get there from pleasuring you alone." She really liked this side of Steve. Doing what he asked. Connecting their minds. Steve let out a moan. The connection driving it home. But still, Steve didn't seem satisfied. Switching techniques. Moving his fingers in different patterns. Leaving Astrid a sopping wet mess. And that was through her underwear.

Steve was a blithering mess as well. Feeding his pleasure off of Astrid's. Which in turn fed into Astrid. Allowing her to feel him come undone. Soon she was doing the same. Ready to collapse. Except that he kept going. Speeding up his fingers. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Fingers digging into Steve as she felt another wave roll over her. While Steve didn't quite manage to hold out there was always next time. Build up his endurance after all.

'Everything you expected?' Astrid asked huffing. Both of them were covered in a layer of sweat. Steve breathing hard but doing okay. Astrid holding him up despite how much she wanted to collapse in a puddle on the floor.

'More,' Steve replied breathing hard. Flexing the hand that did so much work. Astrid took his hand and sucked on his fingers. Tasting herself on him. The juices that leaked through the cloth. He let out a low moan. His body starting to tremble. Astrid looked at him. Knowing he was searing this memory into his brain. She took his finger out of her mouth with a pop. Massaging the cramp out of his hand. Steve sighed in contentment. Moving his other hand to the back of her head. Pushing her close and bringing her into a kiss.

His tongue roaming her mouth. Tasting her. Turning Astrid on all over again. She dropped his hand and picked him back up. Both hands tightly gripping his ass.

'Shall we take this to the bedroom?' Astrid asked.

'Absolutely,' Steve replied. 'I want to see how long it takes before your screaming my name.'

'If you keep it up then not long at all.'

They were so preoccupied with each other that Astrid only just noticed the door opening. She broke off the kiss.

"Unless someone is dying I suggest that you turn around and head back out the door," Astrid stated.

"Oh, you wish," Shamira replied coming inside followed by Bucky. "But you and Steve are just going to have to hold off."

Both of them groaned and Astrid put Steve on the ground. Turning around to look at Shamira. "This better be damn important."

"Yes, revenge for interrupting us all the time."

"Don't make me throw furniture at you."

Shamira chuckled. "You won't. Steve doesn't have enough furniture."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "But seriously why are you here?"

Bucky snorted. "Seemed like the lovebirds were so busy that someone forgot the surprise they had planned."

"Surprise?" Steve asked looking at Astrid. She could have melted onto the floor. Astrid had completely forgotten the reason why she showed up early in the first place. Closing her eyes softly.

"Right," she said turning to Steve. "I did actually have something planned. I just got a little sidetracked."

Steve picked up his jacket and dusted it off. Dawning it on. "Shall we go then?" Astrid noted that he hadn't even bothered to change. Giving her a wink. A million thoughts filled Astrid's mind. She had a good idea of what they'll be doing once they got home again.

She opened the door with her mind and headed out. The other three following her as flagged down a taxi. It didn't take too long and soon they were all piled in the back. Astrid whispering the address to the driver.

Soon they were passing through a familiar neighbor. Steve glancing at her curious but she responded with a shrug. He'll see what she was up to. Particularly as they pulled up to a familiar place. The Brooklyn Museum.

"Isn't this place closed?" Bucky asked as they climbed out of the taxi.

"Not when your friends with the director," both her and Steve stated at the same time. Astrid got out a key and unlocked the front door. Leading the four of them inside. She could tell that the others were curious about what they were doing here. Astrid led them straight to the main gallery. The same place where Astrid and Steve had their picnic. What felt like a million years ago.

"So, what do you think?" Astrid asked gesturing around. "Be truthful now. I want everyone's opinions."

The three of them glanced at each other. As if Astrid had gone insane.

"Opinions for what?" Shamira asked. "I'm mean this place is great and all."

Astrid rolled her eyes. Wondering how dense they could be. "I spoke with the director and if Steve agrees to showcase some of his pieces, we can use the space." The three of them were still clueless. "I mean I think that this would be the perfect place to have a wedding. It's a place of beginnings for us after all. I can't think of a place I would rather marry the love of my life." The look Steve gave her was priceless.

"I couldn't agree with you more," Steve responded walking to the center of the room. Picturing how it would look on their wedding day.

"We can definitely make this place work," Shamira stated. "Set up tables over here. Create an aisle. It's going to be gorgeous."

"Perfectly fitting for the bride."

Astrid blushed glancing at Shamira. It was a couple of weeks away and she still hadn't picked out a wedding dress. "So, you'll guys want to help me set this place up?"

"Astrid," Bucky added in. "I don't think there is anyone here who would rather be doing anything else. We are all in this with you."


	16. Conversations in Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for past spousal abuse, intensive flashbacks, and PTSD.

Astrid looked at the man across from her. Wondering what he could want. This was the first time that Bucky had come up by the hospital without Steve. Asking her if she had a spare moment. She gestured him to her office. Sitting down at her desk and Bucky taking one of the chairs.

“What’s going on?” Astrid asked. A flare of worry hit her body. “It’s not Steve, is it? He’s not sick again?”

Bucky shook his head. A smile on his face. “No. He’s actually fine for once. Though he is what I want to talk about.” He glanced at the ring on her finger.

She flashed a quick smile. “Is this one of those talks where you say that if I ever hurt him I’ll wish I’ve never been born? Because I think we are a bit late for that one.”

Bucky chuckled. “There’s no need. I’ve known you long enough to know that you are never going to hurt him.” He sighed, his expression sobering up. Like he was about to get something big off his chest. “Steve is my best friend. Basically, my brother. Which is why I know he’s a motley of problems.” That was obvious from the start. “He’s always trying to take on everything. Fighting against the world to prove himself. Trying to enlist is only a part of it. And then there is you.”

Now Astrid was confused. “What about me?”

“When I first met you I never thought it would go this far.” Astrid was about to protest but Bucky held up his hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that it has but if I had known I would have prepared Steve better.” Prepared him for what? Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “You are one of a kind Astrid and I’m worried that Steve is going to wear himself down trying to prove himself worthy of you.”

Astrid scoffed. Shaking her head. “It’s me who is not worthy of him. We all know what I am.”

He nodded along. “Shamira said you would say that. But that doesn’t make my point any less true. Both of you are worthy of each other. The only difference is that Steve is probably going to kill himself trying to prove that point.”

She took a deep breath. Intertwining her fingers and placing them on the table. “And what? You want me to talk him out of it?”

He laughed. “That’s impossible. Trust me I’ve tried. He’s the most stubborn man on the planet.” Truer words could not have been said. “No, what I wanted to ask was if you are prepared for it?” She blinked a couple of times. Processing what Bucky was asking. “Because if you aren’t and you decide it’s too much for you… he won’t recover. You, you are it for him. So, before you say I do, please make sure you know exactly what you're signing up for.”

She smiled fondly at Bucky. He would literally do anything for Steve. Literally anything. Even confront his would-be fiancé to make sure that she was ready for him. He was truly Steve’s soulmate. Just as Shamira was hers. “Bucky, I know that Steve’s not in the greatest shape. I know that the chances of actually growing old with him are slim and that’s with my help.” It’s a thought she didn’t want to consider but with his health… They were always going to be fighting a losing war. “I know he’s going to keep pushing himself. He wouldn’t be Steve otherwise.” She tightened her grip on her hands. Looking straight at Bucky. “But he is Steve. And he is worth every single moment of every single day. However, many days that is.” She took a deep breath. This is not how she expected her day to go.  
“Despite the challenges that will lie ahead.” She smiled. Even thinking about Steve made her feel warm. “But we both know that.”

He reached across the desk. Taking her hands into his. “We sure do.” He let go of her hands and she pulled hers back.

“Now, that’s out of the way. Anything else you want to talk about?” Astrid asked with a smile. She had time. There wasn’t a surgery scheduled for a while and she had already seen to all her patients.

Turned out what Bucky wanted her to talk about was the wedding. Surprisingly, Bucky seemed to be the one who was the most invested. Though his focus was on making sure that this was the perfect day for Steve. Not that Astrid minded. Allowed her to focus on her job. All the details, the cake, flowers, even the dress didn’t matter to her. She was marrying Steve. That’s what was important. Something that Bucky understood completely.

Though the conversation had to come to a halt as Astrid had surgery. Promising that they would resume the next chance they got Astrid made her way to the OR. Only to run into Chief who was leaning against the wall. Flashing her a cocky smile. Relatively young he still looked fit as a fiddle. The kind of guy that most women would swoon over. When Astrid first met him he expected her to be one of those women. It was proven otherwise very quickly when Astrid chewed him out for his surgical technique. Since then the two of them have an amicable relationship. More importantly, they made a great surgical team and a better torture one. Though she did that on more of a consulting basis.

“Dr. Schmidt,” he said walking next to her.

“Joining me for surgery Chief?” she asked shooting him a look. They never used his real name. Most people in the hospital didn’t even know what it was. Astrid was one of the select few.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s not every day that you run into a case like this. Though I’m more curious about the wedding. How’s the planning for it going?”

Astrid flashed him a quick smile. “You’re not going to get it out of me that easily.” It was the game they played. Keeping their personal lives close to their chest. Forcing the other to figure it out. The game of torturers and if Astrid was honest it was a game she missed playing.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Just wanted to know when you're expected to go on maternity leave. Can’t leave my surgical team understaffed.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing. You’re going to need a replacement when they finally ship you off to war.” It was unavoidable. All Astrid hoped was that his replacement wasn’t going to be a complete moron.

He scoffed, opening the doors to the OR. “Are we going to save this kid or what?”

Five grueling hours later they did manage to do exactly that. The kid was hardy. Astrid had to give him credit. Making sure that he was back safely with his parents.

“Now it’s time for you to head home,” Chief stated once Astrid had finished up with the parents.

She gave him an odd look. “Why?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Come on. Really? It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re telling me you have zero plans?”

Astrid shrugged. They had a big celebration when they got engaged so they were planning a smaller quiet ordeal. Just the four of them in Astrid’s and Shamira’s place. Astrid making dinner. Nothing major.

Chief shook his head. “Get going. If I have to make it an order I will.” There was no arguing with him at this point. Astrid headed to the locker room. Getting changed. At least she would have an early start to her plans. No one else would be getting home for a while.

Once she got home she turned on the radio. Letting the music drift through the apartment before turning her attention to the kitchen. Taking out all the supplies she needed. Starting with the pie crust. A few hours later, the pie was cooking in the oven, Astrid had finished the last touches on the liver loaf and was working on the buttered lettuce. Cutting it up to make a salad. One of her favorite radio dramas was playing. Completely enthralled. Until she felt a hand grasp her shoulder.

Her heart leaped into her throat. Beating a million miles an hour. It was if her entire world shifted at once. No longer in New York but Germany. In that imposing domineering house on the corner. Making dinner and hoping the booze would mellow him out. It never did. Well, not this time. She was not going to let him hit her this time. Astrid gripped the knife tightly in her hand. It was time. Never again was going to happen now. She thought she heard someone shout no. Not that it would matter. They would thank her after the monster was lying bleeding on the ground.

The next moment was just a blur. Moving on instinct. Ready to cut, shred, tear. Just getting him away from her. Nothing else mattered. All she could see was his face right before her eyes. Except his eyes were brown instead of that deep blue. Brown?

“Astrid listen to me,” she heard in her ears. Shamira? “You’re not in Germany right now. You’re here in New York. At home. You’re safe. He’s not here. You’re safe.” It’s like her world refocused. His face fading and Shamira's face appearing. Looking panicked, worried. “You with me? Your home.” The edges of her eyes stopped blurring. Refocusing. She could feel a sharp pain in her back as Shamira had her shoved into the counter. A death grip on her wrist which was still holding the knife in her hands.

“What? Shamira? What happened?” the words heavy on Astrid’s tongue.

“That’s what I would like to know,” Bucky growled. Astrid looked up, past Shamira. Confusion etched on her face. Until she saw Bucky cradling Steve in his arms. Holding him back.

“Bucky!” Steve shouted at him. “Let me go! She needs me!” It was then she noticed the blood dripping down his arm. A clean slice straight through to his arm. The horror mounting in her body as she glanced at the knife in her hands. Blood as clear as day. She dropped it from her hand. Shamira letting her go. Backing away slightly.

“I didn’t,” Astrid mumbled bringing her hand to her face. Her whole body trembling. “I never.” She looked directly at Steve. Tears starting to pool in her eyes. The only expression on his face was pure worry. That only made it hurt more. “I’ve never ever wanted to hurt you. Never! I thought I was better. I thought…”

“Look whatever happened, we need to get you to a doctor,” Bucky stated. Refocusing the entire situation. “Get that cut cleaned up.”

“Why?” Steve asked turning to look at him. “We have the best damn doctor we know right here.”

“The same one who just cut you in the first place.” Bucky turned to look at her. Eyes blazing with both anger and worry also. “Now unless you want to explain exactly what happened I’m taking him to see a doctor.”

“She doesn’t have to explain a thing to you,” Shamira snapped.

“Shamira’s right, she doesn’t” Steve added in. “Look it’s probably my fault anyway.”

Bucky scoffed. “You touched her shoulder. How is it your fault?!”

“I don’t-“

“Bucky’s right,” Astrid interrupted. “I do owe you an explanation.” They all turned to look at her. Her gaze completely focused on Steve. Who was looking at her with soft loving eyes. Eyes she did not deserve. “But we do need to get that treated.”

He held out his arm to her. “What are you waiting for?”

Astrid glanced at Bucky who nodded letting go of Steve. Allowing Steve to take off his clothes and letting Astrid take a look. Luckily it was shallow. Wouldn’t even need stitches. Astrid gently took his arm. Leading him to the couch. Gesturing him to sit down before she started wiping the blood away with a cloth.

“When I was with-” she couldn’t even start. Put words to it. “When I was with the man before you he used to beat me. Badly. Mostly on my back. Easier to cover it up.” Despite her words, her hands were calm. Steady. The only way she was going to get through this was if she was going to treat it like she was reading out of a textbook. “That was his favorite position. Me on my stomach. So I couldn’t look at him. And he couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t see how much I hated him. And leave me wondering what he would do next.” She closed her eyes and took a deep. Breath. Memories she didn’t want floating to the surface. “He used to grab my shoulder all the time and-” She couldn’t finish. It was too much. She glanced at everyone surrounding her. Shamira was crying. Squeezing her eyes shut. Bucky temper cooled and looking at her with no idea what to say. Astrid didn’t blame him. She didn’t have the words either. Finally turning her attention to Steve. Who eyes were burning with cold fire.

Bring a hand to her cheek. “When I enlist I’m going to find him and make sure that he never hurts anyone again.” She leaned into his hand. Taking him in. She was honestly shocked that he was still here. The fact that he hadn’t bolted told her everything she needed to know about him. “And I’ll never surprise you from behind again. I’ll always make sure that you know it’s me.”

Astrid huffed. “I honestly thought I was doing better.”

“You are Astrid,” Shamira replied. Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “It used to take hours to pull you out of the dark place. This… this is just a minor setback. You’ll make it through this one. Just as you’ve made it through all the others.”

“And for as long you need me too I’ll make sure that you never hurt him again,” Bucky added on. Astrid looked deeply into Bucky’s eyes. Sensing the deep truth of that statement. She had never been more grateful for him in her entire life than she was at that moment. 

“Thank you,” she stated looking at Bucky. “All of you.” She wiped away the blood before rubbing cream into the wound. Helping to close it before wrapping it with a bandage. She was always prepared for anything with Steve. Though she never expected to be the one to hurt him. Astrid let go of his arm. Putting it down gently. Immediately Steve wrapped his arms around her neck. Pulling her in for a kiss. And everything was right with the world.

Until the oven timer went off. All for of them turning to look.

“That would be the pie,” Astrid stated breaking off the kiss. Taking it out with her mind. “Some Valentine’s day this has been.” All four of them started chuckling. Before full blow laughing. Engaging in a large group hug. Astrid looked at each one of them. They would help her through this. She knew they would.


	17. Astrid's Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter. Just a good amount of fluff.

Astrid wanted to curl up in a corner and die. Groaning at the headache pounding between her eyes. Sweat pouring down her body despite the chills that were ravaging her body. Nausea coming along in waves. On top of sore throat and congestion. What felt like a dozen other symptoms. Dying sounded good right about now. She was curled up on the couch. Wrapped up in their warmest blanket. While Shamira mocked her from the comfy chair.

“You know most people when they get a cold, they drink hot tea, rest and eat soup,” Shamira noted. Flicking through the pages of her book. She had planned to go out with Bucky until Astrid got sick. “Not shove experimental drugs that they just invented into their body to see if it cures the simple cold they have.”

“_I needed to know if it would work,” _Astrid sent over. Her throat too sore to talk._ “And who else was I going to test it on? Live human experiments are considered immoral. And we haven’t arrested any tortures lately. Though maybe-” _

“How about no one because it’s a stupid idea,” Shamira continued to chastise. “It’s a cold. People get several a year.” Shamira scoffed. “Besides you make the absolute worse patient.”

Astrid glared at Shamira before snuggling back into the blanket. Not even bothering to look up when the door opened. If someone was breaking in Shamira would take care of it.

“Hey Shamira,” Bucky greeted probably kissing her on the cheek as he usually did.

“Astrid still at work?” Steve asked. It wouldn’t be too unusual. Except that she didn’t even go in today. Not that she didn’t want to but Shamira basically forced her onto the couch. Once it was determined that Astrid wasn’t able to make it all the way back to bed.

“No,” Shamira answered. “She’s curled up on the couch wishing for the world to explode so that she could stop being sick.” Shamira wasn’t wrong.

“Astrid’s sick?” Great. Now she’s got a worried Steve. Last thing she needed. “It’s me my darling.” She felt a gentle hand touch the front of her shoulder. Astrid pulled the blanket away from her head and looked at Steve blearily. He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. Letting out a soft hiss.

“You are really warm,” he noted bring his hand down. “Have you been drinking enough? We should probably get you to drink more.”

Shamira let out a laugh. “Now you sound like her.”

“I took care of my mom when she was sick. I’m not completely lost.” He placed a hand on Astrid's cheek and she leaned into it. Enjoying the coolness of his skin. 

“Still why don’t you and Bucky head out to dinner,” Shamira suggested getting up out of her seat.   
“I’ll take care of the world’s worst patient.”

“No, you and Bucky go out and I’ll take care of my fiancé.” He wiped away some of the damp hair from her face. “In sickness and in health, right?”

“_We aren’t married yet,”_ Astrid pointed out. Steve gave her a small smile.

“Good practice then.”

She saw Shamira bob her head back and forth. As if actually considering the proposal.

“You aren’t going to win this one Shamira,” Bucky added in. “When Steve gets in this mood theirs no moving him.” Shamira let out a sigh. Pinching the bridge of her nose. “Besides he is actually really good at this.”

Shamira bit her lip. Looking at the two of them. Astrid curled up on the couch looking miserable and Steve hovering over her.

“Fine,” Shamira grumbled. “Fair warning though. You’ll probably want to kill her before the night is out.”

Steve scoffed. Not even turning back to look at them. All his attention focused on Astrid. “Go now. Before you are late.”

Shamira held up her hands in surrender. “See you two later.”

“Feel better Astrid,” Bucky called out. “Don’t get Steve sick. Don’t want to have to take care of both of you.”

_“Can’t,” _Astrid replied. “_Not contagious.”_ Despite her state, she was surprised Bucky was willing to leave the two of them alone. Considering what happened less than a week ago. It either spoke to the amount of trust he had in her or how sick she was.

She closed her eyes as the door shut. Snuggling into the blanket. Grateful for the warmth that it provided.

“I’m going to make you some tea,” Steve stated getting up.

Astrid groaned. “_You could also go find my bag. Shamira hid it somewhere. I’ve got something in there that should help.”_

Steve looked at her with a smile. “_You did this to yourself didn’t you?”_

_“…..Maybe.” _He knew her far too well.

She heard his gentle laugh through the apartment. A sound that she would never get tired of. “_I’m going to make you tea.”_

“_Traitor.”_ She buried her face back in the blanket before peaking back out again. “_Make sure that you mix in some honey. We have some in the cabinet. Though… first, you may want to mix some salt with warm water first. If I gargle that it will help. Actually, maybe some lemon water would help more. I think we have a spare lemon somewhere. Oh! Even better! I have something in my bag-”_

_“Astrid,”_ Steve interrupted her thoughts. “_Stop being a doctor and be a patient. I am making you tea and you are going to drink it.”_

Astrid grumbled sitting up and glaring at the back of his head.

“_What kind of tea though? Because I have some in my bag that will-”_

_“Astrid.”_ Steve filling the kettle with water before putting it on to boil. He came back once that was done. “_It does not matter what kind. It is hot. It will help your throat and you will drink it.”_

_“But-” _He interrupted her thought with a kiss on her forehead.

“_One advantage I have over Shamira.”_ He ran his hand through her hair. Sticky with sweat. “_Want to try and get into bed? Or just another blanket?” _ He took her hand and started rubbing circles with his thumb. He could almost watch as Astrid debated the pros and cons of each choice in her head. By the time she actually made a decision the tea would be cold. “_How about a bath instead? You like those.”_

“_A bath would be nice.” _ Her body was achy. It was like she had all the symptoms of the flu without actually having the flu. “_A nice warm bath_.” She was so cold. So very cold. Oh how much she hated the cold.

She felt Steve kiss her forehead again. “_I’ll go run it for you._” Astrid hated that she was making Steve run around like this. She pushed the blanket off of herself and sat up. Fighting off the wave of dizziness. She hated being sick. Just made her feel so useless. Pain and torture she could bury. Use. Turn into a tool. But sickness was a whole other story. It ate away at the body until there was nothing left. 

She slowly made her way to the bathroom. Clutching the robe tightly around her body. Watching from the doorway as Steve tested the water. Steve noticing her presence when the kettle went off in the kitchen.

Astrid tilted her head towards the kitchen. “_Go make the tea. I can get in myself_.”

“_You sure?”_ He took her hands into his. “_I can help you if you like.”_

Astrid smirked. Even sick she could still tease him. “_You just want to see me naked.”_

Steve flushed pink. “_No! I mean yes but-!” _

Astrid kissed the side of his head. Walking towards the tub. Grabbing a bottle on the side.

“_Astrid.”_

_“Relax. It’s bubble bath.” _Pouring the liquid into the tube. Immediately bubbles started to spring forth. Filling the tub up. “_See? Just regular bubble bath._” Slipping the robe slowly off her body. It dropped immediately onto the floor. She could feel Steve linger from the doorway. Drinking in her backside. Unable to keep his eyes off of her. Kettle still whistling. 

“_You better check on that. Before the water boils off._”

“_Right._” He dashed off to the kitchen. Astrid let out a sigh before stepping into the hot warm. Submerging herself in the bubbles. Letting it warm herself up. Steve came quickly back with the tea. Handing it to her gently. Astrid smiled. He used her favorite cup as well. The pretty blue one. Sipping at it gently before giving it back to Steve. Putting it down gently. He swallowed a lump in his throat. Removing his jacket and tugging on the collar.

“_Something wrong?”_ she asked.

“Just remembering the last time I saw you in a bathtub,” he said out loud. Astrid could read some of his dirtier thoughts. Withdrawing her mind for a moment to allow him some privacy. “Is it hot in here?”

Astrid gave him a smile. “_Afraid I’m not feeling well enough to put on a show.”_ Steve blushed even further. Sitting on the bathroom tile. Back pressed against the tub.

“Ju-Just give me a moment,” he stuttered. Astrid did so. Allowing him to cool down before turning to face her. Tapping the side of his head once again. “_Is there anything more I can do for you, my love?_”

Astrid looked at him fondly. Bubbles coming up to her neck. Covering up the rest of her body. “_You don’t have to wait on me you know? I can take of myself. Not the first time I’ve done this. Nor is it going to be the last. Unless we start arresting more torturers that is.”_

Steve took her hand from the edge of the bathtub. Intertwining her fingers with his. Kissing her hand.

“_I’m sick all the time Astrid,”_ he replied. “_You always the strong one. Taking care of others. Helping me when I am sick. Let me take care of you for once. Pamper you. Make you feel better.”_

She looked at Steve absolutely flabbergasted. Rolling her eyes. How did he still not get it? “_You take care of me every day. Just because my problems aren’t physical doesn’t mean that you aren’t helping.” _ Steve looked up at her. Patiently waiting for her to finish her thought. Astrid had no idea how she was going to. Even on a good day when she wasn’t so muddled. “_I’m a mess. I’ve always said that. Valentine’s day revealed how bad it was.”_ He squeezed her hand harder before letting her go. Astrid pulled back his sleeve. Checking the scar. Just as she did every day since the incident. They could barely see it now. Astrid tracing the length of it. Feeling a deep pain in her chest. She would never hurt him like that again. “_For the longest time, I never wanted to be married, have kids, or even be with anyone. Ever.” _ Her breathing was picking up. Despite how shallow it was. “_I couldn’t even imagine wanting that kind of life. Until I met you. You… you make me feel safe. Safe enough to want all those things. And you do that every single day. Just by being you.” _ She tapped him on the nose with her other hand. “_You already take care of me, Steve. I’m the one who should be taking care of you. It’s only fair. After all that you have given me._” A series of coughs racked through her body and she clutched her head. She had been pushing herself too much. And all she had really done today was take a bath. 

Steve handed her back the mug of tea and she took another sip. Giving it back to Steve once she was done. Her thoughts were a mess. Astrid wasn’t sure that she could string two sentences together.

“_You want me to go get your book and read to you?” _Astrid smiled at him. He kissed her hand one more time before getting up. Quickly grabbing her book and returning. Astrid closed her eyes and sighed. Listening to Steve softly read. It was like listening to a melody. He had a perfect reading voice. An image of him reading to their kids appeared in her mind. Curled up in his lap. She closed her eyes. It was such a beautiful picture. At least until the water-cooled and she started shivering. Steve picking up on it immediately.

She got out of the bathtub while Steve made more tea. Curling up in bed. Waiting for him to join her. Though she wasn’t sure that she would stay awake long enough. Astrid could feel herself getting dozy. Unable to keep her eyes open. 

“How she’s doing?” Shamira asked. Astrid could feel her come into the room. Sitting down on the bed. Running her fingers through her hair. She was too tired to respond.

“Sick, but what do you expect?” Steve answered. She felt two other people sit on the bed with her. Another hand playing with her hair. “I think she was doing a little better after the bath.”

“Ah her one weakness. Warm water.” All three of them chuckled. “Seriously though it’s the only way to cope. Otherwise, she goes all doctor on you until you’re ready to strangle her.”

“I noticed that.” Another round of laughter.

“She is going to be an absolute pain when she’s pregnant,” Bucky noted.

Shamira groaned. “Oh, you have no idea. I do not envy you.”

She felt Steve reach over and squeeze her hand. “We’ll get through it.”

Bucky tsked. “I don’t know. If you think she’s bad now just wait until she’s giving us lectures on baby’s health care.”

“_Not only the baby’s,”_ Astrid sent out to all three of their minds. “_I’m not entirely asleep you know.”_

“We know that now,” Shamira stated. Astrid opened her eyes and rolled over to look at her. Flashing Astrid a mischievous smile. “If you weren’t’ sick I would yell at you_._”

Astrid groaned and sat up. Looking at all three of them with bleary eyes. Steve handing her another cup of tea. She looked at it. “_You know I have some immune boosters in my bag. If I dissolve them in hot water it might-”_

“No,” the three of them stated. She glared at them. Drinking the tea. Once done Shamira and Steve gently encouraging her to lie back down. She didn’t give them much of a fight.

“Now lie there and be pampered like the rest of us regular sick people,” Steve said with a smile. Well, there was no way that she could resist that. Letting him tuck the covers around him. She would figure something out when they were all asleep. They couldn’t stay up the whole night, now could they?

Though apparently neither could she. Astrid already felt her eyes slip back closed. Curling back up into her favorite position. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep. Surrounded by the only three people in the world she felt safe with.


	18. All Dressed in White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I found myself with some spare time and decided to upload another chapter. I think this might be the first one where Steve doesn't show up. That is not going to be a common occurrence. Anyway please review and let me know what you think.

Astrid had a pretty vivid imagination. She could imagine a perfectly crafted torture regiment for each person she came across. Know exactly how to destroy a person completely and utterly. Make them tell her what she wanted to know. But even she never thought that this process would be this painful.

“We’ll find you the right dress Astrid,” Anna stated coming back into the dressing room. A couple more dresses in her hand. Shamira took them from her and she quickly left the room again. Astrid could hear her through the door. “I’m sure of it. We have to keep looking.”

“Right,” Astrid replied rolling her eyes. She was getting married in a week and she hadn’t found the right dress yet. There was something wrong. Too short, too long, too poofy, not poofy enough, to much lace, to little lace. None of them worked. Somehow dress shopping had turned Astrid completely insane. “How many have I tried on? 100?”

“125,” Shamira said helping Astrid out of the one she was currently in. “Three dress shops. Two of which you got us kicked out of. At this point, we’re in lucky number 4. Honestly, we could probably find a cute little cocktail dress that would work. It doesn’t really matter.”

“Of course, it matters, it’s my wedding dress.”

“Astrid, you could walk down the aisle in a potato sack and Steve wouldn’t care. Your gorgeous in whatever you’re wearing.”

“I’m not wearing a potato sack on my wedding day.” Shamira slipped her into one of the new dresses Anna brought in. “I’m not wearing this either. Look at this lace.” She picked at it with her fingers. “It looks like it was made by a drunken buffoon. And my chest.” She gestured to the front of her body. “I look flat-chested. Is that what I really want Steve thinking? That I don’t have breasts.” It turned out that Astrid was one of those brides. Which surprised everyone except Shamira.

Shamira groaned for the umpteenth time that day. “I’m pretty sure that Steve will be thinking a lot of things. Not one of which is the fact that you're flat-chested. Which you clearly aren’t.”

Astrid tsked. Dropping her arms. “It’s not even worth showing it to the others”

Shamira sighed undoing this dress. “Astrid I love you but I’m seriously about to kill you.”

“I don’t blame you.” She was having a hard time coping. Everything else was set up. The invitations, food, flowers, cake. The only thing left was this damn dress.

Anna knocked on the door again. Coming in with another dress. “I think this is going to be the one.”

Astrid glanced at it. It was an older style but definitely flattering. As she slipped it on, she knew. She knew this was the one. Older certainly, probably used but that was fine. It was more affordable that way. She heard Shamira let out a breath. Unable to say anything. Basically a confirmation that this was the right choice.

She stepped out of the room towards the others. Anna, Thomas, and Bucky were all with her. Helping her make the decision. Bucky and Thomas got dragged into helping after day 2. Something that Steve found hysterical when he found out.

“What do we think?” Astrid asked twirling around. Anna was near tears. Holding her hands in front of her face. Thomas was equally speechless. Looking somewhat like a proud father.

Bucky smirked. Wrapping an arm around Shamira waist once she got close enough. Pressing a quick kiss to her head before looking up at Astrid. “I think Steve would have to fight off every man in New York if they got a look at you.”

“I just so happy it fits,” Anna let out coming up and hugging Astrid. “Once I knew your measurements, I hoped it would fit but I’m glad that it does.”

Astrid glanced at Shamira who shrugged her shoulders. Unsure of what was going on. “Am I missing something?” Astrid asked.

Anna sniffled letting Astrid go. “Before Sarah died the two of us became very good friends.” Astrid felt her breath stutter. “She would have absolutely loved you. Your everything she wanted Steve to find in a woman.” That…that got to Astrid. She always wondered. To have it confirmed was gratifying.   
“Before she died she asked me to keep something safe for her. In case it was needed. When Steve was ready to get married.” She started crying. Tears dripping down her face. “You’re wearing her wedding dress. And it looks absolutely stunning on you.” Now Astrid was going to start crying. Or at least getting a little teary. Looking down at the fabric. Even Bucky was getting a little watery-eyed.

Astrid swallowed the lump in her throat. “Do you think Steve will like the dress?”

Everyone chuckled, shaking their heads fondly. Soon she was having the dressed tailored to her body. Creating the absolute perfect fit. Fitted with Astrid’s homemade bridal crown, it created the perfect ensemble.

“I’m getting married,” she stated to herself. “I’m actually getting married.”

Shamira came up from behind. “Yes, you are.” She tapped the side of her head. Asking Astrid to connect. “_You ready for this?”_

“_I honestly don’t want to wait the week. Can I just marry the love of my life now?”_

Shamira rested her head on Astrid’s shoulder. “_Sadly you are going to have to wait a week.”_ Astrid groaned. She didn’t know if she had the patience. Not after seeing herself in the dress. “_You having any doubts?”_

“_Not a one.”_

“_Thought so._” Shamira helped Astrid out of the dress. Giving it to Anna once it properly packed up. Less chance of Steve accidentally finding it that way. They all parted ways then. Bucky heading over to Steve while Anna and Thomas headed home. Astrid and Shamira strolling the streets. Taking in the city. As they did when the first arrived.

“So what do you want to do in your last week being single?” Shamira asked twirling around Astrid.

Astrid smiled at Shamira. She honestly had no idea what she would have done without her.

“_You are my soulmate Shamira,” _Astrid stated in her mind. “_You know that right?”_

_“I always have Astrid._” Shamira squeezed her hand. “_Since the day we’ve met. I have known that._”

“_Then please tell me the truth.” _Astrid sighed. She needed to know. With the date so close. Because if she was honest with herself she was still on edge about it. Despite how much her body might be craving it. “_I know I’ve done some stuff with Steve. But it’s not close. Not close to the real thing. So tell me.” _She took a deep breath. _ “What is sex actually like?”_

Shamira blinked a couple of times before stopping. Standing in front of Astrid and taking her hand.

“_Sex with someone you love. Really truly love. It sets you on fire. Your mind blanks and all that matters is the person you are with. The feel of them around you. Their scent and warmth. Pure pleasure coursing through your veins. It’s indescribable Astrid.”_

Astrid smirked at her. Letting go of her hand and continuing walking. “_Is that what you feel with Bucky?”_

“_Honestly? No, but I think in time._” Shamira bit her lip. “_In time definitely. I would probably feel it now except…”_

_“He isn’t Jewish.” _Shamira bobbed her head back and forth. There was that little fact. But Astrid knew her friend. A little more time and that fact probably wouldn’t matter. Plus Bucky would absolutely convert for her. If the two of them went down that route.

“_You still haven’t answered the question by the way. What do you want to do this week?”_ Astrid paused. She wasn’t quite sure. Work had given her the time off to make sure that everything was good to go and then she had another two weeks for the honeymoon.

“_You have any ideas?”_

Shamira shrugged her shoulders. “_It’s your wedding. You really should decide.”_ Shamira was right. At the end of the week, her and Steve would be starting a new life together. One that she was ready for. She sighed. Pondering her options.

“I don’t know,” Astrid said with a shrug. “What do most people do?”

“Don’t know. You’re the first person we know that’s getting married. I guess we could set up a polterabend.”

Astrid let out a laugh. “Right. Let’s explain that to all our friends. Plus I really don’t want to be cleaning up dishes with Steve.”

“I’m guessing that you don’t want to be kidnapped either. I’m sure Bucky and I could find a bar to hide you in.” Astrid punched her lightly in the shoulder. “Point taken. Is there anything we’re missing? You got the wedding shoes.”

“Saved my pennies for them.”

“We finally have the dress. Is there anything else?

Astrid shot Shamira a look. “The new place will be ready when Steve and I get back?” Astrid’s gift to Steve. She had found them a new place closer to wear both of them worked. With the raise, she managed to get from Chief, and Shamira living with them, it was affordable.

“Bucky and I will make sure of it.” 

Astrid clicked her tongue. That covered everything. Which still left Astrid with a week to kill. As she wracked her brain for ideas it suddenly hit her. She turned to Shamira with a smile.

“I think I know what we're going to do for a week.” It was obvious. Astrid was surprised that she didn’t think of it sooner. “Remember when we first got to New York?”

Shamira snorted. “Which part? Our awful first apartment? You finding your job or the week we spent being bumbling tourists?”

“The week we spent being bumbling tourists. Except that we won’t be bumbling this time.” Shamira gave her a look. Astrid shrugged. “I’m a surgeon Shamira. Don’t exactly have a lot of free time. Plus, I’ll be married soon, which will cut my free time more. Particularly if Steve wants to have kids soon. Let’s take a week and be young single women in New York. There is still so much that we haven’t seen.”

Astrid was right. There was so much they hadn’t seen. The two of them got so caught up in their lives. Which is how the two of them started their whirlwind tour of New York. Hitting all the highlights. Getting up early in the morning and staying up late into the night. Ending their travel spree by going up to the top floor of the Empire State Building. Looking over the city. The city Astrid was probably going to live in for the rest of her life. Raise her kids in. It really was a beautiful sight. The twinkling of the city lights. She had never seen anything quite like it. And for the first time, she thought that she could truly love this city. Felt a peace in her heart. This, this crazy city with its even crazier people was home.

She could have stayed up here all night. Though they had to call it an early night compared to the others. Astrid was getting married tomorrow after all. Wanted to get a good night's sleep. If that was even possible. The anticipation would probably keep her awake all night.

They left the observation deck and headed back to Brooklyn. Ready to head into bed. Both of them had a long day tomorrow. Astrid was beyond excited. Her heart pounding in her chest. A bounce in her step. It was finally time. Felt like it was forever ago that Steve proposed. Nothing could kill her good mood. Even the wolf whistles coming from the guys that she walked past.

Astrid groaned. They had almost made it an entire week. An entire week where every man with a complex left them alone. It was glorious. But apparently it could not last. And they were so close. They were standing right outside their building. Shamira rolled her eyes as well. Ready to ignore them until one of the guys stepped in front of the door. Blocking their path.

“What’s the rush ladies?” the guy asked letting out a puff of smoke. Cigarette in hand. Astrid had to admit. He wasn’t bad looking. Nowhere near Steve or Bucky’s level but would probably catch a few girl's attention. His friend moved to stand beside him. Crossing his arms in front of him. “The two of you seem like you are looking for a good time. One we would be happy to provide. How about we take the two of you dancing?” Astrid lurched back as he reached out for her.

Astrid gritted her teeth. Hand slipping to her hidden blades. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shamira's hands curled up into fists. These guys did not stand a chance.

“Normally I would be a little more lenient,” Astrid growled. “But as I’m getting married tomorrow, I don’t have the patience. Get out of our way or I’ll rip your kidneys out of your body and hang them on the street lamp over there.” She gestured her head towards the street lamp. “You have five seconds. I suggest you use that time wisely.” The guys blinked a couple of times before bolting. Running down the street. At least they weren’t complete idiots. Shamira chuckling the entire time. Clasping Astrid on the shoulder.

“Only you Astrid. Only you.” The two of them walked up to their apartment. For Astrid, this would be her last time. By the time that she got back, Shamira and Bucky would move everything to the new place.

When the stepped inside Astrid stopped in the middle and took it in. She had a lot of good memories of this place. Of her and Shamira, later Bucky and Steve. A part of her was going to miss this place. All that it represented. Shamira shot her a smile before heading into her room. Giving Astrid the space she needed.

Astrid flopped on the couch. Staring at the wall. The week had been a whirlwind but now that it was over it was finally truly hitting Astrid. Starting tomorrow everything would be different. A new life, a new name. An actual future. An actual future with one of the most amazing people Astrid had ever come across. This was the longest she had gone without seeing Steve since they started dating and starting tomorrow she would be with him every day. Was she really ready for that? Going steady with someone was one thing but marriage. Actual marriage. That was another story altogether.

But was surprised her more was that she wasn’t even worried about it. No cold feet, no fretting. She was fully confident in her decision. Because it was Steve. Her Steve. And together they could take on any challenge and come out of it. No matter what may happen the two of them would make it through. Together with Bucky and Shamira. The four of them could take on the world and come out on top. Of that, she had no doubt. 


End file.
